Outings vs At home play / activities

[Pocketchick]

Hello All,

I have a parent querying how much I take her 2 children on outings - currently I take the children to groups, park, woods etc etc 3 times a week on average which is all I can manage what with school runs and other children being dropped off, plus I don't drive. The children play in the garden most days unless there is extreme dangerous weather.

She called over the weekend to ask if I could do more proper trips out - legoland, zoo's, discovery centres etc and has offered to pay for ALL of the children and taxi's wherever I need to go, and if I can go to a toddler group every day!

I'm a little offended that she is just throwing money at me to be honest, and feel as though she isn't happy with my service any more. I have had the oldest child for 3 years now and it's never been a problem but he is getting a little rude and naughty at times and obviously this is my fault because I "don't do enough with him".

I have explained that he needs to do some structured activities and some general playing but she isn't buying it anymore - did I read something in the new EYFS that says not to take children to too many toddler groups etc or did I totally dream it?

[hectors house]

I think the outings you do with your mindees are perfectly acceptable, what she is suggesting are the things she should be doing at weekends - family outings/treats! Some other childminders may take children in the school holidays on bigger/more expensive trips but that is often for their own children.

I don't go to a toddler group each day either as I would find time to fit in my own activities / craft / observations based on each childs interests - have decided not to go to Toddlers today as I have one little boy back after 2 weeks off for Easter hols and as he only comes one day a week I have set up some planned observations.

Maybe suggest to this parent that she frees up some time at weekends to spend time with her child. I had a parent who took child away because I refused to do phonic handwriting practice with her - child only came one day a week, went to Nursery 2 days and was at home with parents 4 days a week - but they claimed they didn't have time to do it with her!

[RuthJ]

We go to 2 toddler groups a week and sometimes manage a couple of morning out for walks/ woods but have the same problem as you with school/ nursery runs which leaves little time for full day outings.

I wouldn't be happy if parent was suggesting this as a regular thing. During school holidays is the time that we do more day trips but even then cost is an issue.

I would explain that yo plan activities to meet their developmental needs and that includes being out and about 3 times a week. She wouldn't be getting that at a nursery!

If she wanted to pay for all he children to go on an outing during school holidays I'd bite her hand off!

Sounds like guilt that she's not doing these things with her kids at the weekend??

[Dragonfly]

what a cheek what you are doing is good.I think i would say no,i think it would probably be saving her taking them out ant where!

[littlemiss60561]

Touch of self guilt for not taking her own child out maybe? I get sme parents really don't have the time, but that's not your problem!
I'd have a problem with this too.
We go to toddlers generally between 3 - 4 times a week depending on which children in, obs needed etc . I read somewhere to remember we are home based and not to be rushing here there and everywhere so to give time for home learning. I think I have the balance right . 1 child has at least one group a week, rest at mine/ play park/ beach etc .
It sounds like what your doing is great.
I must say if a parent did that and said to me they would cover all the children, I'd find a really nice zoo.. Several miles away... Take a taxi both ways... Go on my busy day and get them ice creams, let the buy something n the shop and send them the bill lol. Sure she wouldn't have an issue after that! Theme parks are for them to do really, maybe as an occasional treat with minder, but not the norm?

Accept a taxi ride as a one off and go have a nice day lol

[littlemiss60561]

Oh and don't forget a taxi there and back mid day to collect from nursery so they can go too and not miss out lol this lady may regret offering haha

[QualityCare]

No disrespect to you but it sounds as if she needs a nanny so child an be taken on all these outings.

[Houlgated]

This woman is on another planet! What you are doing is absolutely fine, I would hate to take several EY children to Legoland. Most of them wouldn't be tall enough to go on the rides and it would be potentially impractical and unsafe to manage on your own. My husband and I took our 2&4 year old last year and our 2 year old wasn't tall enough for loads of things so he had to just watch with one of us whilst his sister went on the ride.

[doris127]

No way would I be dictated to like that. We save trips like that for the holidays and they are special occasions - not the norm! I'm a great believer in children learning independence and being able to find things to do for themselves. If her child does these outings everyday what is she going to do when he gets bored of them?!!! I have 5 here just now - a 7 yo reading to a 1 yo, a 3 yo playing with the small world castle and 2x11 yo planning all the art activities for the art club they run at school. My plans for paper mache balloons and a hand print rainbow have been ditched for later - "if we have time". I would much rather have children like mine than ones who learn that you need money and expensive outings to have fun!!

[Pocketchick]

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I totally agree that she is being unrealistic and it does all come from a place of guilt I think. She ended up calling me this morning to say she was taking him to Legoland herself today but has dropped off their other child to me! I think notice is on the cards to be honest, they would be much better off with a nanny.

Some people will never be happy with what they have!