Settling in new starters that like being carried everywhere!

**Rolacolapink** · 12-04-2013, 02:40 PM

Hi I've just taken on a new baby who doesn't like being put down to play, eat, sleep, in the buggy, basically anything and cries, sometimes borderline hysterical but is, however fine for mum!

All my previous mindees in the year I've been working as a CM have been 2.5 yrs plus and it's been a breeze settling them in.

I literally have to carry her all the time as she immediately quietens down when I do this.

I'm sure I'm not the first CM to experience this - just wondered if anyone had any tips on how to manage this?

Many thanks!
Rolacolpink

**moggy** · 12-04-2013, 02:55 PM

You need a good sling- I use a ring sling, the are not expensive and allow you to carry hands free and easy to put baby in an out. I use one a lot, especially at toddler groups. They are not ideal for carrying for a long time but for short carries they are great. If you are looking for something to carry all day or a half day you need a good front-carry sling like a Ergo (expensive though) or a mei-tai- search baby wearing for loads of information, these spread the weigh to both shoulders, your back and waist. Some have clips, some tie, some have both- it is a personal preference thing.

Note: these slings I am talking about are not anything like the high-street-branded-crotch-danglers which are bad for your back and not good for baby's hips. There is a lot of info online and a good secondhand market for slings.

**Rolacolapink** · 12-04-2013, 03:06 PM

Thanks, much appreciated.

I forgot to add that she is not a new baby - but new to me! She's 7 months old and can sit up and has just started crawling so is fine in terms of safety and being left but obviously monitored!

I guess the idea of her being attached to me all day is a little daunting but if I need to I will.

Both myself and mum want her to become more independent and mum actually said "she'll just have to get on with it".

Ideally I want to know how to deal with leaving her to play/crawl etc, perhaps in short bursts to start with, with a comforter or toy to hand then progressively leave her for longer then perhaps I'll then be able to plan going to groups with her!

**TraFerd** · 12-04-2013, 03:15 PM

I agree with Moggy, something like a ring sling or a Connecta would be good. At 2.5 lo can go on your back so you can still get some things done and hopefully once she feels a little more secure she'll allow you to put her down for longer.

**step11** · 12-04-2013, 03:18 PM

I would do as much floor work as possible, try not to pick up as much. I worked with babies for 4 years in nurseries so iv seen it all. You do t want her to associate crying for no reason with being picked up. Lots of reassurance. Personally I wouldn't carry her around all day but play with her on the floor if she sits up. I know it can be hard at stay and plays but if you keep at it she wi soon change you want them to learn to be independent and also be able to come to you as a source of comfort.

**moggy** · 12-04-2013, 03:50 PM

and of course, carrying a lot now does not mean you will be carrying forever. It gives them so much reassurance and time to bond with you that they will settle easier and should be quicker to playing independently. They can hear your voice, smell you, see you all the time in a sling, see what you are seeing and doing and learning from that too. And it really helps to build the relationship. I have loved the times I have had a mindee to carry in a sling. See it as an opportunity to get a really good bond with this little one.
I carried my own son to 2 years and mindees to well over 1 year old.

**dette** · 12-04-2013, 04:04 PM

i have a 9 month just started and hes the same .im trying to get him to sit on the floor between my knees but most of the time hes sat on my knee or bein carried ,i love slings too but unfortunatly this baby is huge..wears 18-2 yrs clothes and is nearly as tall as my 4 yr old ,hes just too heavy for my sling,hes almost crawling hes lovely but im on my 4 th session of physio now and he only started 4 week ago !!!

**Rolacolapink** · 12-04-2013, 07:45 PM

Originally Posted by dette

i have a 9 month just started and hes the same .im trying to get him to sit on the floor between my knees but most of the time hes sat on my knee or bein carried ,i love slings too but unfortunatly this baby is huge..wears 18-2 yrs clothes and is nearly as tall as my 4 yr old ,hes just too heavy for my sling,hes almost crawling hes lovely but im on my 4 th session of physio now and he only started 4 week ago !!!

Gosh poor you! Yes the floor thing isnt really working for me either yet despite sitting LO right in front of me and talking to her, offering her a variety of toys etc Keep having to put her back on my knee. Bless her though she is very cute.

Thanks everyone for your help I'll get myself a sling