Facebook friends with parents?

**lucyD** · 19-10-2012, 12:05 PM

Is this ok or not? I recently gained a contract through FB, but when I was told by a collegue this should be done I deleted him. ( we never conversed on there anyway) but he requested me again yesterday so I replied saying why I took him off i.e that not professional,safeguarding etc & this is his reply:The main reason I chose you was because you added me as a friend, me and hannah then looked at your profile and decided that you were an open and honest person we could trust. That one added friend then made you £4000+. I completely appreciate you have chosen to follow that advice for childcare reasons, but I don't think it is the best business decision.

Not sure what to do now as he has a very good point & certainly dont want to offend him either.

I have never & will never talk about parents or add photos etc on FB it is purely social....What are your thoughts please?

**alwaysright** · 19-10-2012, 12:19 PM

you've answered your own question, its purely social!! not work and if you now consider him to be work related then its your decision! i have one parent on fb, an after school child but i had her before so just left it, but i dont add anyone after i have a contract with them as i personally dont want them knowing things that i put on there because at the end of the day they are not my "friends" we are friendy

**TooEarlyForGin?** · 19-10-2012, 12:23 PM

I rarely use Facebook, and then it's only to stay in contact with friends and family that don't live locally. I am very suspicious of it as my daughter has had so many problems over the years.

But I would never accept a parent as a friend as to me this would be crossing boundaries.

I already find it invasive that families have so much knowledge of me and my house and my family and I feel that it would be too much to be friends on Facebook as well.

I also really don't want them having access to my holiday photos of me in my bikini.

**lucyD** · 19-10-2012, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by TooEarlyForGin?

I rarely use Facebook, and then it's only to stay in contact with friends and family that don't live locally. I am very suspicious of it as my daughter has had so many problems over the years.

But I would never accept a parent as a friend as to me this would be crossing boundaries.

I already find it invasive that families have so much knowledge of me and my house and my family and I feel that it would be too much to be friends on Facebook as well.

I also really don't want them having access to my holiday photos of me in my bikini.

HA HA !! Very good point re:bikini!! We are friendly but not friends, am a bit confused as to why he wants to add me as we never chat on there or comment on each others status etc so he may well be just nosing at me!! LOL!! I do want to stay professional so think I will leave it as it is. I will always accept strangers friendship requests as they may be potential customers but I can always delete them explaining my reasons I guess so I wont be losing out on business as he says...thank you everyone

**FussyElmo** · 19-10-2012, 12:38 PM

I have parents as friends on fb doesn't bother me however I never put anything that could bite me in the bottom.

you could set a cm page put and add them to that

**mrs robbie williams** · 19-10-2012, 12:53 PM

i have one parent on fb - she requested me, im happy with it except a couple of weeks ago she told me she couldnt pay because her tax credits hadnt come through but then put on facebook she had just bought a new tumble dryer the same day

**sarahjane** · 19-10-2012, 12:57 PM

I have 2 of my parents on facebook, one has been a long standing client of 7 + years, the other added me 3 years ago when her son started with me. I am now having big issues with this lady and have today had to contact the ncma legal team for advice about her, my issue is now how to deal with the facebook thing!

I will never ever add another client to facebook as am now in a really difficult positionx

**JCrakers** · 19-10-2012, 12:59 PM

A tough one, it depends on the parent and what you use Facebook for.

I'm always well behaved on Facebook as my son has an account

I have 1 parent friend at the mo but she is an old parent from 3 yrs ago although she has just had a baby who I will be looking after soon.

I don't go on moaning about work or say anything too bad so for me it wouldn't bother me.

**melco** · 19-10-2012, 01:06 PM

I have a parent who I have as a fb friend but I have known her for 14 years and its only been since July this year that I have been looking after her lo. The reason she chose me was because she knew me but she found out I was becoming a childminder through fb and contacted me, I am also going to look after her nephew from next year. Any other parents I am not friend with on fb but I have my own fb page for business and I may add them on there.

**alwaysright** · 19-10-2012, 01:20 PM

i think the other thing to consider is that they can also read comments left on your page by your friends and may be able to go on your friends pages if friends of friends are allowed, the thing with this is although i never put anything about work on, some of the things one or two of my friends write (and their friends etc) leave a lot to be desired!! some of the things they write are either rude or totally inappropriate so you have to consider this as well.

**2kidsunder5** · 19-10-2012, 01:28 PM

I am friends with one of my parents on FB but she is an old friend who I used to work with and was friends on FB with her before I started to look after her child.

I personally have never had an issue with her but under no circumstances would I make friends with any other parent. To be honest I think it takes away the professionalism (is that how you spell it

) of my role.

A previous post on here mentions making a childminder page for youself, I think that's a really good idea

**Mouse** · 19-10-2012, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by lucyD

Is this ok or not? I recently gained a contract through FB, but when I was told by a collegue this should be done I deleted him. ( we never conversed on there anyway) but he requested me again yesterday so I replied saying why I took him off i.e that not professional,safeguarding etc & this is his reply:The main reason I chose you was because you added me as a friend, me and hannah then looked at your profile and decided that you were an open and honest person we could trust. That one added friend then made you £4000+. I completely appreciate you have chosen to follow that advice for childcare reasons, but I don't think it is the best business decision.

Not sure what to do now as he has a very good point & certainly dont want to offend him either.

I have never & will never talk about parents or add photos etc on FB it is purely social....What are your thoughts please?

I have to be honest, I don't like his attitude from that message anyway. I hate it when peolpe bring money into things. It's almost like he's saying "we're paying you money, so you should have us as FB friends'. If they never talk to you on there anyway, I would guess they want to use it to check up on you, like he's saying is what he's done already. He seems to be upset that he doesn't have a place to watch what you're up to

Why not set up a separate childminding page that you can invite parents to? Each evening just write a little update about what you've been doing that they can read if they want to.

**lucyD** · 19-10-2012, 02:28 PM

Originally Posted by Mouse

I have to be honest, I don't like his attitude from that message anyway. I hate it when peolpe bring money into things. It's almost like he's saying "we're paying you money, so you should have us as FB friends'. If they never talk to you on there anyway, I would guess they want to use it to check up on you, like he's saying is what he's done already. He seems to be upset that he doesn't have a place to watch what you're up to

Why not set up a separate childminding page that you can invite parents to? Each evening just write a little update about what you've been doing that they can read if they want to.

I did feel the same when I read it but wasn't sure if I was reading too much into it. But it does seem a bit odd! I am well behaved on fb BUT IT IS SOCIAL SO ITS NOT ALWAYS PC therefore not 'professional' Not going accept him & I may do a CM page...Thanks x

BTW they dont even pay me, Care to learn do LOL

**winstonian** · 19-10-2012, 05:21 PM

I think it should be whatever suits you - not the colleague who has their reasons for the way they do things or the parents - do whatever you are comfortable with.
I am friends with a couple of parents as I knew them before caring for their children but I never put anything childminding related on facebook.

**Boris** · 19-10-2012, 05:34 PM

I am friends with a few of my parents (Only if they ask me though). I am very careful about what I put on there, I would never swear for example or put anything implying I'd had a crappy day or disliked my job!

I never go on there when mindees are here, even if they are asleep as I would hate anyone to see that I had even "Liked" something during work hours.

If I was using a childminder for my children I would like to see what she's up to in her spare time

and I have nothing to hide.

**singingcactus** · 19-10-2012, 05:45 PM

All my parents and my ex parents are friends on facebook. I only have one recent parent who wasn't on facebook and now they have left I have no contact with the little man. I talk loads and loads on facebook with my families. But then again, all my families are also my friends. I couldn't care for a family without being friends with them all. We chat, plan outings together, have fun, share pics of things we have done, I chat with the dads/mums when they are deployed (if there is internet connectivity), parents check in on facebook during the day to see if I have updated with any news. It's just another way of extending friendship and connections. I don't understand why having a parent as a friend would be a safeguarding problem, or unprofessional, I honestly don't.

**little chickee** · 19-10-2012, 06:00 PM

I don't have any of my parents on fb.
I am very well behaved on fb, never swear, never say anything inappropriate, in fact i hardly ever post a new status and when i do its always something lighthearted.

But i prefer to keep it to my friends and family.

I have 3 mindee families at the moment and consider myself friends with all the parents.
One i have known since i was 14! The other 2 i was friends with before i started minding their kids but being "freinds" with a parent on fb has been tricky for me in the past so won't accept parents anymore.

If they ask i just say i don't use fb very much so theres no point! Even though thats a lie.
I do sometimes go on fb and the internet whilst i'm working and i don't want anyone thinking i'm not doing my job properly as a result because i can do 2 things at once!!

**gegele** · 19-10-2012, 06:02 PM

a few parent are friend with me on facebook. But Facebook is my social time. I NEVER mention my working day, kids or anything work related. I only moan about MY kids LOL.
I only speak about outing to give friends ideas to take their kids.

I DO swear if and when i want to on facebook. my wall, my time... Parents know i never swear in front of kids.

Parents NEVER talk boutique with me either. if they want to ask question or mention things they use text never Facebook.

it's the unspoken rule of Facebok LOL.

I NEVER request parents on facebook, if they want to they can add me but i won't initiate it.

oh and i never ever ever use picture with mindees on it. only my own.

**lucyD** · 19-10-2012, 06:15 PM

Originally Posted by singingcactus

All my parents and my ex parents are friends on facebook. I only have one recent parent who wasn't on facebook and now they have left I have no contact with the little man. I talk loads and loads on facebook with my families. But then again, all my families are also my friends. I couldn't care for a family without being friends with them all. We chat, plan outings together, have fun, share pics of things we have done, I chat with the dads/mums when they are deployed (if there is internet connectivity), parents check in on facebook during the day to see if I have updated with any news. It's just another way of extending friendship and connections. I don't understand why having a parent as a friend would be a safeguarding problem, or unprofessional, I honestly don't.

Apparantly this collegue was told not to do it on a safeguarging course?! Guess if you are silly & post a pic or do something they dont like on there it may be bad, which I dont....I can see pros & cons

**Jenna** · 19-10-2012, 08:13 PM

I'm friends with all my parents on Facebook they added me and 2 of them found me on Facebook after i'd advertised on one of there car boot sites that I had a vacancies so in a way it worked in my favor saving me a fortune in advertising the space. I always think carefully about what i write as my status mind and what photos of myself i upload. I would never upload photos of the children or write anything about them on there.