After some advice

[melco]

Hi,

I am unsure what to do.

I have a lo who is 14months who comes to me 2.30-6.30pm. The problem I have is that he screams a lot and I mean a lot. He screams to get your attention, he screams when he wants something and screams when you are about to give him dinner, the list goes on!! When he is not screaming he is a happy little boy and can be very sweet.

I have a lo who is 10months who I look after and my own 2 children and also a 9 and 10yr old that *****mind and we are all finding the screaming is getting us down. When he leaves I feel deflated and just want to collapse and also feel that my time with the other children is limited due to this child.

I have not explained the problem to his mum as I have already had issues with her telling me to do certain things and making me feel like I don't know what I am doing. Tonight did not help when I allowed him to have a couple of animal biscuits and she then tells me that she does not allow him to have chocolate. To be honest he has been with me 6 weeks and he normally has fruit but I only had bananas left which he does not like and I knew he was having a lot of vegetable for dinner so I did not think it would be a problem. I know this sounds bad but I did not apologise as she had not informed me and just politely explained that the reason I hand out the forms before a child starts with me is so that she can put what she does not allow him to have so that I can make sure that I do the same. The same thing happened when he first started with me, he was in the lounge with the older children and they had the TV on and he was not watching it but she said when he was picked up that he is not allowed to watch TV, but again she had not told me this so I would not know.

Anyway the question I am asking is where should I take things from here? The way I feel at the moment is I want to give notice. I have only been minding since February and have 7 children on my books and I am really enjoying my job but due to the problems I don't look forward to this lo coming. The 10month old I have has a cousin that was born in July and they want me to childmind him from April which would be during the day and easier for me and my family. I don't want to let the mum down and I have my husband on my back making me think of the money but what about mine and my childrens happiness. We have tried lots of things with him, ignored him, given what he has asked for once the screaming has stopped and praising him for not screaming but if they are not doing the same at home all my hard work is going to waste.

Sorry to go on, but any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

melco

[PrettyFlowers]

I'm sorry I don't have any advise to offer, but it sounds like you have taken on too much with him.

If he is impacting the care of the other children - including your own, then he has to go as thats not fair on anyone. It doesnt seem like Mum is sympathetic either and would help with strategies to try and improve his screaming.

[angeldelight]

I think you have to do what is best for you and your family

If already it is spoiling your day then I would def think about giving notice so you are all happy again

If not then you need to speak to mom and work together on this ..... not sure if you are able to do this though so maybe giving notice is your best option?

Good luck whatever you decide

Keep us posted

Angel xx

[hollyoaksmad]

If its getting to much give notice I have a child who I look after for 1 hour a day or sometimes 2.5 an in those hours she is handful I can't cope so I gave notice notice is nearly up and I will enjoy not being stressed !! 1 hour is not worth me getting stressed over £4!! I think you will feel relief that u have notice parents should not put u down even though I have one right now and I have tried to just think money money money ( mamma Mia is on at mo so quite appropriate x)

[melco]

If its getting to much give notice I have a child who I look after for 1 hour a day or sometimes 2.5 an in those hours she is handful I can't cope so I gave notice notice is nearly up and I will enjoy not being stressed !! 1 hour is not worth me getting stressed over £4!! I think you will feel relief that u have notice parents should not put u down even though I have one right now and I have tried to just think money money money ( mamma Mia is on at mo so quite appropriate x)

Thanks for the replies I was worried that people may think I was being silly and should just get on with it. I think the best thing to do is give notice.

I have not given notice before what should I put? I don't want to put the screaming as the excuse, also he is term time so will the four weeks include that week?

Thanks again x

[hollyoaksmad]

Hey u don't need to give a reason just say dear .... I am writing to you to give you 4 weeks notice from date sorry for any inconvenience caused. Or if you wish to put and an excuse just say for personal reasons . Or discuss with parent that u feel u can't go on anymore maybe discuss problems first if she snotty then u say I'm sorry but I have made my decision x

[jaswinder bedi]

Hi i would discuss with mum too and if nothing working then give notice... It can be very exhausting i know how you feel years back, i had a baby ooooo !!!! Cant forget the scream he did cry cry and all he did was cry!!! Eventually got better it will take time and work with parent is the key. x

[winstonian]

I agree, I had a screamer and she left after a month -the relief for all of us was immense!
You could always say its too awkward with your childrens bedtimes or clubs etc if questioned, put it more towards the late finish. Good luck

[hollyoaksmad]

I agree, I had a screamer and she left after a month -the relief for all of us was immense!
You could always say its too awkward with your childrens bedtimes or clubs etc if questioned, put it more towards the late finish. Good luck

That's problerly a better idea say you want more time with your children and your really sorry maybe offer to help find another cm

[Tazmin68]

I would give notice as well. I bet if your husband was at home during the day and heard the child then he would soon change his mind re income lost!!!!