Parent wants to delay start date

**hectors house** · 08-08-2012, 03:19 PM

I had a meeting today with parent whose child is booked in from end Sept, she has now realised that she has lots of holiday that needs using up, so wants to start end Oct or even mid Nov.

I had put a start date in diary but it isn't written on contract as I knew date might vary slightly - however the space is free from start Sept when mindees go to school (i'm not involved in settling in) I don't want to wait until mid Nov as space is 3 days a week.

She caught me out today I know I should have been more assertive - I just said I would like child to start full time as close to agreed date as possible and can do settling in sessions from date I thought was starting.

How can I salvage this? Should I go back to her and ask for half fee retainer from date I thought child was starting or have I missed my chance?

**hectors house** · 09-08-2012, 09:48 AM

Have decided going to pluck up courage and ring her asking for half fee retainer which she can use some hours for settling in sessions. Just as soon as I've chatted on here for another half hour (day off today - just incase ***** on patrol!), had a cup of tea and the bar of chocolate I bought myself as a reward for doing the shopping!

**Boris** · 09-08-2012, 11:44 AM

Go on be brave! Half fees is fair if she wants to keep the place open. You could tell her you've had an enquiry for an immediate start and you will have to turn them down if she still wants the space.

**bunyip** · 09-08-2012, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by Boris

Go on be brave! Half fees is fair if she wants to keep the place open. You could tell her you've had an enquiry for an immediate start and you will have to turn them down if she still wants the space.

Has the OP really had another enquiry? This is no way to start a professional, caring relationship with a family by being dishonest with them. Dangerous ground on which to tread.

The OP going to look pretty darned silly if mum calls the bluff. Then what if mum finds out there isn't another client after all, and drops the whole thing 'cos she's no desire to place her lo with a CM who tried to squeeze her for a little extra cash out of a falsehood?

Why is it fair to expect money for a period of time that is and never was under contract? By all means ask, but leaving it this late to ask for a retainer might look like desperation. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the price you pay for not nailing down the start date.

**rickysmiths** · 09-08-2012, 12:30 PM

I would definitely charge her half fee from the original start date until she starts the full contract.

**bunyip** · 09-08-2012, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by rickysmiths

I would definitely charge her half fee from the original start date until she starts the full contract.

There is no "original start date". OP states it's in their diary but not on the contract.

**hectors house** · 09-08-2012, 01:02 PM

On the contract it says "Date vacancy anticipated - September", most people would have charged half fee from when the space became available. I didn't put a start date on contract, only in my diary as the mum was waiting to speak to HR, I knew it may vary by a week or 2, but wasn't expecting it to be 5.

And no I can't go back to her and say I have another enquiry as I do want this to be a relationship built on trust from day one and hopefully this family will stay for many years as others have done.

**bunyip** · 09-08-2012, 01:24 PM

That's a bit more clear then. At least there's a month on the contract, even if it's not a precise date.

In that case, I'd say you're entitled to expect mum to start paying in full from the end of September. Anything within September is tricky, as you don't have a firm date.

I understand why you were being relaxed about it and trying to help mum. The trouble is, it could look like you just changed your mind. From the mum's point of view, it could look like it was all relaxed and helpful and suddenly you're making demands. I'm not saying that's how you are, just how a client might see it.

I'm also fully aware that a lot of CMs would've asked for a retainer to be paid right from the time they signed the contract, because they're agreeing to turn away any other enquiries in order that the place still be open for September.

Good for you - for being honest and wanting a positive relationship from the start.

**Boris** · 09-08-2012, 01:37 PM

Originally Posted by bunyip

Has the OP really had another enquiry? This is no way to start a professional, caring relationship with a family by being dishonest with them. Dangerous ground on which to tread.

The OP going to look pretty darned silly if mum calls the bluff. Then what if mum finds out there isn't another client after all, and drops the whole thing 'cos she's no desire to place her lo with a CM who tried to squeeze her for a little extra cash out of a falsehood?

Why is it fair to expect money for a period of time that is and never was under contract? By all means ask, but leaving it this late to ask for a retainer might look like desperation. Sorry to be harsh, but that's the price you pay for not nailing down the start date.

Blimey - sorry Bunyip if I caused offence!

If the start date was verbally agreed, this is surely a form of verbal contract?

**bunyip** · 09-08-2012, 07:31 PM

I didn't take offence, and I hope I didn't cause any either.

I just don't think one can't be too careful around parents. Things have a way of being found out and of getting round playground mums very quickly and unexpectedly too.

When I gave up work to look after family I had no idea what the school run was like. On day one there was a yard full of mums who I didn't know from Adam (surely "Eve"?) but somehow they already knew everything there was to tell about me. I'm sure they have some sort of 'secret society' and I've not been initiated into it. Still, I've only been here 3 years.

I'm never sure about verbal contracts. They sort of exist if you can prove they do, but how do you do that if the other party denies it? And since it's a new arrangement, it's not as if 'custom and practice' come into the equation. It would just've been so much tidier if it had been put in writing from the start.