Please help me get rid of an unwanted visitor

**helendee** · 02-07-2012, 08:36 PM

Could any of you lovely people out there please give me some advice.

I recently met up with a mum that I knew several years ago when our children were at school together. We always had a little chat but were never good friends or spent any time together. Anyway a few weeks ago she suddenly turned up at my door, right in the middle of our lunchtime so I told her that we were far too busy but I would see her another time, she came round a few days later and stayed for the whole afternoon!!

Since then she is texting me all the time and saying she will be coming round to see me again. I have tried to explain that I am WORKING during the day and have even been out with her in the evening to try to put her off coming round during the day! She texted me this morning to say she was going to pop round but I said we were going out (which we were) and now she says she will pop in tomorrow sometime!!

GRRRRRR how do I get her to see that I cannot have her round during my working hours?

Please, please help a desperate woman!!!!

**The Juggler** · 02-07-2012, 08:39 PM

oh hon, poor woman must be really needing company to foist herself on you like this.

I would get her round for a quick coffee and explain to her exactly how it is. You CANNOT have non CM visitors around when you are working, your focus in the children and it's not appropriate, she has no CRB etc, etc, - just lay it on thick. Ask if she's ok and you're happy to meet up for a coffee on non-work days now and again but things are really busy.

I know this sounds cruel but hopefully she'll be a bit offended and back off

**Monkey1** · 02-07-2012, 08:40 PM

Show her your visitor policy and just say I'm really sorry but when I'm working I can't have social visitors in my home.Your not fibbing! .... Then tell her your now doing weekends and overnight!

**helendee** · 02-07-2012, 08:43 PM

Thanks ladies.

She seems fine, is very happily married and running a business of her own selling health products. She is also highly involved with her church, in fact she keeps asking me to go to bible reading classes at her house as well!!

I don't mind going out for a pizza with her once a fortnight or so but I really don't want her round during the day and my husband who works with me doesn't want her here either!!

md0u0131 · 02-07-2012, 08:44 PM

She does sound a bit lonely tbh. Can you just send her a text saying your really sorry but during working hours social visits are too difficult but maybe offer to meet up at a weekend?

**cathtee** · 02-07-2012, 08:46 PM

Perhaps you could text her and say, I'm sorry to have to ask you not to come round while I'm working. but as cm I have to be able to watch the lo's and cannot do this while I am sitting chatting, I don't want to offend you but I have to put the lo's welfare first.

Don't know if this is any help, it sounds good in my head but not sure on paper

**Kiddleywinks** · 02-07-2012, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by The Juggler

oh hon, poor woman must be really needing company to foist herself on you like this.

I would get her round for a quick coffee and explain to her exactly how it is. You CANNOT have non CM visitors around when you are working, your focus in the children and it's not appropriate, she has no CRB etc, etc, - just lay it on thick. Ask if she's ok and you're happy to meet up for a coffee on non-work days now and again but things are really busy.

I know this sounds cruel but hopefully she'll be a bit offended and back off

I'd be doing this

**helendee** · 02-07-2012, 08:48 PM

Originally Posted by md0u0131

She does sound a bit lonely tbh. Can you just send her a text saying your really sorry but during working hours social visits are too difficult but maybe offer to meet up at a weekend?

I've tried doing that. I said that it was not convenient to try to chat while we were working but I was happy to see her socially of an evening or weekend!

**miffy** · 02-07-2012, 09:29 PM

You could either tell her straight or just try ignoring her texts, although I suppose she might just turn up at the door then.

Miffy xx

**blue bear** · 02-07-2012, 09:39 PM

Sorry but no you can't come round, im busy, I will catch up with you sometime.

**Mouse** · 02-07-2012, 09:50 PM

Originally Posted by blue bear

Sorry but no you can't come round, im busy, I will catch up with you sometime.

I agree. Keep it short and sweet. If she's texting, text back saying "sorry tomorrow no good for me. Too busy for visitors when I'm working. Will text when I'm free so we can meet up for a child-free chat. That'll be much better for both of us!"
Throw in the odd 'lol' to keep it friendly

**jaswinder bedi** · 02-07-2012, 10:21 PM

Oh dear, i taught it only happens to me.

Sometimes........ But it does happen........

It is quiet hard to tell the person or a very good friend, not come when you too busy working.
You mention about crb check, policies, log in the book if have one and also mention about early years or your network co-ordinate is due to come to your place to visit you! Which I get away with

Not that i am scaring you but only way to explain any visito in a POLITE way

.

Also you could make an arrangement one evening with your friend if she is free can go out for a meal or drink!!!!