Schools (long one!)

[Helen Dempster]

my son and a mindee are in the same class at school (ones 5yo and ones 6yo). Anyway, there's a new child that's started who seems to be a bit of a bully, and mindee has mentioned him a few times to me, and has also been crying in the mornings with his mum saying he doesn't want to go to school because this other boy keeps kicking him. Mum was concerned enough to write in the contact book after seeing some horrific bruises on her son's legs, but the school didn't acknowledge this at all. Anyway, I didn't have to pick them up til later today as they had a club, but received a call from another parent (we usually all walk out together and the boys all play together in school). She told me that mindee and this other boy had had a fight (the boy kicked mindee in the 'bits' and mindee hit him back) and were taken to the head's office, that parents were going to be called etc. I phoned mindees mum to let her know and she didn't get a call, so phoned the teacher herself. She said the teacher was v. abrupt with her and basically told her that HER son was the bully, that his behaviour in class was disruptive and that he'd hurt 2 other boys making them cry...which was a complete shock to her (and me, if I'm honest). He used to be a right handful, but he's a completely different child now and has calmed down alot. I've tried speaking to my own DS (the youngest of the 2), but you know what kids are like at this age, you can't get much sense out of them! Mindee said he got angry - and if he's being bullied by this child, I can't blame him!

Apparently my own DS was chanting the other boys name when they were fighting because...and I quote..."he's a better fighter". So we've had a long talk tonight, but I'm losing faith with the school really - this is the same teacher who sent my DS out of class at home time when I wasn't even on the premises (he was meant to be in drama club) and another parent found him and took him with her!! I complained to the head and the teacher was spoken to (but that's another story).

I don't really know the point of this post, I think I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Thanks for listening...if anyone's still there...? Hello? Hello....? HELLO....??

[Bridey]

I'm listening!!

I would suggest to the mum to maybe make an appointment and go in to see the teacher/head teacher with her son and all have a talk together.

I know that, as the child's minder, you feel very involved and concerned but I would step back and let mum deal with it. You obviously worked hard with this little boy and created a lovely environment at your house for him and he has responded well to that. That is all you can do really, the responsiblity for the rest of it lies with his parents and his school.

I'm not saying you are interfering at all, its just that sometimes its hard to step back emotionally and not take on another family's stresses and problems. Goodness knows we have enough of those of our own! You've had a talk with your son so you've really done all you can. Just carry on offering the little boy a lovely time at your house x

[Chimps Childminding]

Not really got any advice except to speak to the school and maybe make a note of any incidents your son mentions! Just wanted to say that this forum is a great place for "getting things off your chest" and even if you don't expect a reply, you usually get some good advice anyway!!

Hope things improve!!