how would you deal with this

[adele1985]

I have a friend whos little boy I look after on a when and if basis (normaly 2 mornings a week)

I agreeded to care for him without pay until her tax credits came through that was in january she told me she should come through in the next couple of weeks after nearly 4 months of waiting and me asking every week about the money (and her getting anoyed about me asking about money) they money finally came though and she paid 150 off what she owed (she said they money would come in installments each week)

I agreed to look after her child even tho she still owed me money as she assured me that the rest of the money would come next week

the week later i looked after her son on the thursday expecting her to bring the money with her - she arrived with no money and explained the money would go into the bank ob the friday and she would bring it round asap

the friday she never came (it was good friday) I text her and she text back saying she would drop it in later - she never

I text her on the saturday - no reply i phoned her - no answer

thats the last time i have heard from her

I sent a message on face book asking why she had not dropped the money in - the message i got back was along the lines of she has had other things to pay for and she will give me the money when shes ready basically

I emailed her back saying i understand shes got other things to pay but so have i and I though she might of made a more of an effort to pay me first as i have been waiting since january - she didnt reply

since them ive had no contact with her

this friday i had enough so i phoned her mam and asked if she know if i was needed to look after child she said she thinks wednesday, thursday and friday but she would get my friend to phone and confirm - I also asked her if she know anything about they money ( i know i shouldent off but i really sisnt know what else to do) she said she would have a word with my friend and tell her to phone me

I still havent heard a peep from my friend and i really dont know what to do

to be honest its not really about the money im anoyed about the way she is going about things i know she been shopping and was out over bank holiday as she has put it on face book

I just dont know what to do next should i just wait until she gets in touch

should i send her a formal letter stating that im terminating her contract with me until full payment is recived - i wa thinking of giving her a date (like a weeks notice) to get the money to me before I go further

I hate confrontation and i really dont understand why she would be getting anoyed with me asking for MY money im sure she wouldnet be willing to work for 5 months without pay

Any advice - its really getting me down now

[Bridey]

Do you have a written contract with her? If you don't then there isn't much you can do.

Firstly I would stop calling this woman a 'friend' - she quite clearly isn't acting like one.

No, don't wait until she contacts you. I would put everything down in a formal letter, detailing exactly what she owes, and drop it round to her. If you want to give her a week more to pay then that is up to you, however, I feel that will be another week you will work that you won't be paid for. If she doesn't pay then I would also contact the tax credit office and let them know that you are no longer working for her so she doesn't keep claiming the pocketing money she is not entitled to.

[littleones123]

i really feel for you, i've had this done to me by close people and it is really awfull.
from my past experience i have learn't not to be so soft with people you are running a business people like this just hold you back if they can do this to you they quite obviously are not a friend
i would write a letter with an invoice giving her lets say 7 days to pay the outstanding balance if you get no joy i would take it further

good luck hope everything works out for you

[The Juggler]

I have a friend whos little boy I look after on a when and if basis (normaly 2 mornings a week)

I agreeded to care for him without pay until her tax credits came through that was in january she told me she should come through in the next couple of weeks after nearly 4 months of waiting and me asking every week about the money (and her getting anoyed about me asking about money) they money finally came though and she paid 150 off what she owed (she said they money would come in installments each week)

I agreed to look after her child even tho she still owed me money as she assured me that the rest of the money would come next week

the week later i looked after her son on the thursday expecting her to bring the money with her - she arrived with no money and explained the money would go into the bank ob the friday and she would bring it round asap

the friday she never came (it was good friday) I text her and she text back saying she would drop it in later - she never

I text her on the saturday - no reply i phoned her - no answer

thats the last time i have heard from her

I sent a message on face book asking why she had not dropped the money in - the message i got back was along the lines of she has had other things to pay for and she will give me the money when shes ready basically

I emailed her back saying i understand shes got other things to pay but so have i and I though she might of made a more of an effort to pay me first as i have been waiting since january - she didnt reply

since them ive had no contact with her

this friday i had enough so i phoned her mam and asked if she know if i was needed to look after child she said she thinks wednesday, thursday and friday but she would get my friend to phone and confirm - I also asked her if she know anything about they money ( i know i shouldent off but i really sisnt know what else to do) she said she would have a word with my friend and tell her to phone me

I still havent heard a peep from my friend and i really dont know what to do

to be honest its not really about the money im anoyed about the way she is going about things i know she been shopping and was out over bank holiday as she has put it on face book

I just dont know what to do next should i just wait until she gets in touch

should i send her a formal letter stating that im terminating her contract with me until full payment is recived - i wa thinking of giving her a date (like a weeks notice) to get the money to me before I go further

I hate confrontation and i really dont understand why she would be getting anoyed with me asking for MY money im sure she wouldnet be willing to work for 5 months without pay

Any advice - its really getting me down now

whatever you do here hon, your friendship is not going to be the same again. so I would go totally professional and business like with a letter.

Phone her (and follow up with a letter through her door - posted today).
Basically say you are disappointed that she has not paid but also that she has felt unable to talk to you about payment. Say that you also have bills to pay and cannot do so unless you are paid on time for the care that you have provided. Explain that you will not be able to care for the child until such time as payment is made in full. Then ask her to please make payment as soon as possible as late payment fees are applicable from today at £x/per day and you really don't want to have to charge them to a friend. Tell her that if payment is not made tommorrow you will be giving 4 weeks notice and that care will only resume during that notice period if she pays overdue care fees in full.


I might also be tempted to put a short, handwritten note in saying how upset you are she has treated you this way when you are friends and how she felt it ok to pay everythign else before you.

sorry this has happened hon.

[CH1957]

I had to do this with a non payer this month. Every month there has been an excuse as to why they had to pay late but beginning of this month LO was off sick, I emailed invoice as usual and didnt hear anything, then mum text me to say LO still sick so I text her back reminding her about payment but no reply. I then emailed, again no reply, so then on the advice of others on here took a letter round to their house and popped it through letterbox saying that if I didnt receive payment by a certain date I would be applying late payment charges and not looking after LO. Within an hour she rang me asking for my bank details and I was paid the same day.
Dont let it go, you have bills to pay and she is certainly not acting like a friend!

[adele1985]

thanx for all of your support
Ive text her this morning

" ant ideas about when I'm getting any money, i cant afford to wait any longer I think ive been more than reasonable waiting this long to be honest Im sure you wouldnt work and not be fully paid for 4 months"

no reply as yet

If i dont hear anything from her by tomorrow I will write her a formal letter stating I need full payment within 7 days or I will have no choice but to terminate her contract and start applying late payment charges

[Ripeberry]

I know it's a bit late but this should have been nipped in the bud in the first place. Don't EVER give credit. This is what you were doing. And she is not a friend more like a 'user'.
Just refuse to have the child if they can't pay. All my parents pay up front and no-one has ever queried this system.
Hope you get your money eventually.

[adele1985]

I know it's a bit late but this should have been nipped in the bud in the first place. Don't EVER give credit. This is what you were doing. And she is not a friend more like a 'user'.
Just refuse to have the child if they can't pay. All my parents pay up front and no-one has ever queried this system.
Hope you get your money eventually.

Thanks hun
This sint normally an issue as all my other paretents either pay a week or a month in advance depending on how they pay

I agreeded to this arrangment as I thought she was a friend - if I knew it was going to go on for this long or i know the attatude she would have about paying me the money I am owed I would never of agreed to it

Im just writting the letter now

does anyone have a template or anything I could look at so I can get the wording right x

[The Juggler]

thanx for all of your support
Ive text her this morning

" ant ideas about when I'm getting any money, i cant afford to wait any longer I think ive been more than reasonable waiting this long to be honest Im sure you wouldnt work and not be fully paid for 4 months"

no reply as yet

If i dont hear anything from her by tomorrow I will write her a formal letter stating I need full payment within 7 days or I will have no choice but to terminate her contract and start applying late payment charges

i would not wait hon. texts are not good when it comes to non-payment. I'd follow up with a letter (post it through her door today). I also would not give her another 7 days but as you've said you will now you can work around it with the letter.


say something like

following my text, i will expect payment in full during the next 7 days. During this time I will be unable to care for your child as you have broken the terms of our contract. However, if you make payment during this 7 day period I can of course resume care.

During the 7 day period, late fees will be added on and if no payment is made at the end of the 7 days I will give you 4 weeks notice. Late fees will continue to be added from the date notice is given until payment is made in full and I will be pursuing payment through a debt recovery service (you might want to say who i.e. NCMA, MM or court).

However, please be assured, I am happy to resume care for your child at any time during the notice period as long as you make payment in full (I'd add this as NCMA are very keen on you not putting parents in a position not to work - as they could sue you- however, by stating something like this you are giving her the opportunity to work as long as she pays you ).

don't leave it to a text hon, it just gives her further excuses to delay - i.e. phone out of battery, lost phone etc, etc. see if someone can pop the letter through her door pronto

[adele1985]

this is what ive wrote

I am writing to you to request payment of £205 which is still outstanding, I have tried on a number of occasions over the past week to contact you regarding this matter with no luck.
I understand that I verbally agreed to give you time to pay when you signed your contract on the 10th January 2012 but after over four (4) months of waiting for payment I cannot afford to wait any longer.
I am asking for full payment of £205 to be paid by Friday 20th April 2012. Until your outstanding balance is cleared fully I will not be able to care for your son.
If you make no effort to make payment by Friday 20th April I will have no other option but to terminate your contract and contact my insurance and take the matter further. I will also be contacting child tax credits and informing them of the situation
I really regret that this has came to this but like everyone else I expect payment for the service I provide and like I have said I think I have been more than reasonable regarding this matter
I hope to hear from you soon

Does this sound okay

[The Juggler]

this is what ive wrote

I am writing to you to request payment of £205 which is still outstanding, I have tried on a number of occasions over the past week to contact you regarding this matter but you have not responded

I gave you some payment flexibilitywhen you signed your contract on the 10th January 2012 as you were waiting for tax credits but you have since been receiving these tax credits but you are still in arrears with payment. Technically, by withholding payment from me, you are committing fraud as 100% of what you receive from tax credits is due to be paid to me for childcare
I am asking for full payment of £205 to be paid by Friday 20th April 2012. Until your outstanding balance is cleared fully I will not be able to care for your son.
If you make no effort to make payment by Friday 20th April I will have no other option but to give you 4 weeks notice and contact my insurance company to reclaim the money via them. I will also have a duty to inform tax credits that you are fraudulently using the money they are paying you. Please do not put me in this position as I would not take any pleasure in doing this

I really regret that it has come to this but like everyone else I expect payment for the service I provide. I think I have been more than reasonable regarding this matter and
I hope to hear from you soon

Does this sound okay

few suggested changes - but great

[adele1985]

thanx for that
What will happen when I contact the insurance company, ive never had to use them for anything before - who will be liable for the charges

[The Juggler]

thanx for that
What will happen when I contact the insurance company, ive never had to use them for anything before - who will be liable for the charges

no charges hon, that's what you pay your insurance for. who are you with MM or NCMA?

Give them a call, tell them what you have done and ask their advice before doing anything else now.

Oh and I meant to also say make sure (if you haven 't delivered it already) that you do put the clause in your letter to say you are more than happy to have the child now or during the notice period so as not to leave her without care, etc, etc,

Good luck hon, let me know how you get on.x

[adele1985]

lol im getting very confused

Ive just been speaking to a friend (another childminder who has been though a similer thing) she said she went trough small claims online - i asked why she didnt go through her insurance and she said it dosent cover things like this ???

im with MM i need to ring them tomorrrow anyway to renew - my policy runs out on the 18th will this make a diffrance

[The Juggler]

lol im getting very confused

Ive just been speaking to a friend (another childminder who has been though a similer thing) she said she went trough small claims online - i asked why she didnt go through her insurance and she said it dosent cover things like this ???

im with MM i need to ring them tomorrrow anyway to renew - my policy runs out on the 18th will this make a diffrance

NCMA will often not claim money back for you unless its over a certain amount. However, a letter to this mum telling her you will pursue legal avenues normally does the trick But MM are very good and if they don't chase the money to get it back for you, they WILL reimburse the money to you directly.

Your insurance does cover debt recovery but MM are at present better placed than NCMA to provide a speedy and supportive debt recovery service. Ring MM helpline tomorrow tell them about the letter you've sent (maybe try today I think they have 7 day helpline). Then ask them what your next steps are.

No matter that your policy runs out, you can't renew it until it runs out just make sure you do this at the same time and it doesn't lapse. good luck x

[adele1985]

Ive text her this morning

" ant ideas about when I'm getting any money, i cant afford to wait any longer I think ive been more than reasonable waiting this long to be honest Im sure you wouldnt work and not be fully paid for 4 months"

she has just text me back
"no one has saif you havent been more than good, however ive had a few problems ok ill sort it"

just sent one back
"Does that mean im getting paid soon or not, sorry to sound harch hun but I cant afford to wait any longer"

she hasent replied yet

do I still send her the formal letter tomorrow

[BucksCM]

Oh My!
Perhaps she needs politely reminding that using tax credit money for anything other than to pay childcare is fraud!!!

[adele1985]

Ive text her this morning

" ant ideas about when I'm getting any money, i cant afford to wait any longer I think ive been more than reasonable waiting this long to be honest Im sure you wouldnt work and not be fully paid for 4 months"

she has just text me back
"no one has saif you havent been more than good, however ive had a few problems ok ill sort it"

just sent one back
"Does that mean im getting paid soon or not, sorry to sound harch hun but I cant afford to wait any longer"

she hasent replied yet

do I still send her the formal letter tomorrow

dont worry i do have a spell check on my phone very bad speller

the more i think about it the madder im getting

could I just text her saying ive had enough of this and I feel shes taking advantage and i will not be able to care for her child until she makes some sort of payment ( or should i say full payment) if payment is not made within 1 week then i will seek legal action and inform tax credits of the situation

does that sound to harsh

also i know texting is not the best form of contact but i know if i phone her (if she answers) or i speak to her face to face I WILL end up crying becasue I feel so mad about the whole situation

[rickysmiths]

I have a friend whos little boy I look after on a when and if basis (normaly 2 mornings a week)

I agreeded to care for him without pay until her tax credits came through that was in january she told me she should come through in the next couple of weeks after nearly 4 months of waiting and me asking every week about the money (and her getting anoyed about me asking about money) they money finally came though and she paid 150 off what she owed (she said they money would come in installments each week)

I agreed to look after her child even tho she still owed me money as she assured me that the rest of the money would come next week

the week later i looked after her son on the thursday expecting her to bring the money with her - she arrived with no money and explained the money would go into the bank ob the friday and she would bring it round asap

the friday she never came (it was good friday) I text her and she text back saying she would drop it in later - she never

I text her on the saturday - no reply i phoned her - no answer

thats the last time i have heard from her

I sent a message on face book asking why she had not dropped the money in - the message i got back was along the lines of she has had other things to pay for and she will give me the money when shes ready basically

I emailed her back saying i understand shes got other things to pay but so have i and I though she might of made a more of an effort to pay me first as i have been waiting since january - she didnt reply

since them ive had no contact with her

this friday i had enough so i phoned her mam and asked if she know if i was needed to look after child she said she thinks wednesday, thursday and friday but she would get my friend to phone and confirm - I also asked her if she know anything about they money ( i know i shouldent off but i really sisnt know what else to do) she said she would have a word with my friend and tell her to phone me

I still havent heard a peep from my friend and i really dont know what to do

to be honest its not really about the money im anoyed about the way she is going about things i know she been shopping and was out over bank holiday as she has put it on face book

I just dont know what to do next should i just wait until she gets in touch

should i send her a formal letter stating that im terminating her contract with me until full payment is recived - i wa thinking of giving her a date (like a weeks notice) to get the money to me before I go further

I hate confrontation and i really dont understand why she would be getting anoyed with me asking for MY money im sure she wouldnet be willing to work for 5 months without pay

Any advice - its really getting me down now

I would not take the child again until all arrears were paid in full. End of. I would not have let it go anything like as long as this even with a 'friend' she is being very unreasonable and you may have to right this one off against experience. I would phone tax credits and inform them that the child has left your care and that only x amount has ever been paid to you in fees.

Yes I would definitely be sending her a letter.

[The Juggler]

she needs to receive the letter today hon. otherwise what will you do when she turns up with the child this week and yet another excuse.

Maybe pop a note in with it, saying sorry for the formality of the letter given her earlier text but this is the procedure you always implement when payment is not received otherwise you will not be covered by your insurance if you don't follow your policies.

Also you need to add in a line in your letter about the fraud and tax credits to remind her, use the wording from my earlier post if you like

"Technically, by withholding payment from me, you are committing fraud as 100% of what you receive from tax credits is due to be paid to me for childcare. I have a legal duty to inform tax credits that you are fraudulently using the money they are paying you. Please do not put me in this position as I would not take any pleasure in doing so."

No more text communications hon, even if she replies to you again.