Please help ! Advice needed urgently please

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23-01-2019, 07:04 AM
v 1461

Please help ! Advice needed urgently please

Hello,
Had a really bad day yesterday with one of my parenta d decided to terminate the contract now.
To make it short toddler got dropped off yesterday ( he was late and mum was in hurry so he got dropped off quickly and mum left )
Once at play group I notice spots on is hands and bottom lips ( show to a.few.mums at group who all said " hand foot mouth")
Once back home.i text.mum asking if she had noticed all spots . Mum replies yes she knows he.has HFM ( started at week end) ( yesterday was Tues ) . I read on HFM website which says contagious.for up.to 10 days and.also can still be contagious after spots go.
I said to mum she should.have told me but she argued that toddler was fine and spots gone.
Anyway when she picked him up she started SHOUTIMG AND YELLING at me " what are u on about, there is nothing ..." First time I saw mum like that and shouting at me . I started crying and explained that I needed to know because of other babies and toddlers in my care on the day. She continued shouting and left . I.gave her a painting child made but she refused to.take it and left .
I have been very upset since and have never shouted at by a parent like that in 20 years .
I decided with my husband to terminate contract but don't know what to put .
My points are she should have told me he had contagious illness and mainly she shouldn't have shouted at me . (Made me.feel like an unwanted object)
( I have now received an email from.her.with pictures of her child trying to prove there are no spots but funny.enough u can see on his mouth some spots on these pictures )
any advice please please ?? How should I word the letter??
Thanks ( didn't sleep last night , thing like.that really upset me )x
23-01-2019, 07:30 AM
loocyloo

No advice, i don't know what I'd do? Except i would feel the same as you.

If you use pacey contracts, maybe call their legal team? I don't know, but i assume other contract suppliers also have a legal team?

Big Hugs. How horrid.

X X X
23-01-2019, 07:43 AM
Dragonfly

Oh my goodness, being shouted at in unacceptable. I think I would just say it isn’t working and you are obviously not the right childminder for her. Sorry don’t know what else to suggest but I don’t think I would keep the family after being spoke to like that.
23-01-2019, 07:55 AM
mama2three

Call your insurance team first thing this morning. They will tell you exactly which parts of your contract wording are relevant for you to give immediate notice. No one should be shouted at in their own home. Good luck xxxx
23-01-2019, 08:06 AM
v 1461

Thank you for all those replies early in the morning . It really means a lot to me . Xx
23-01-2019, 11:44 AM
v 1461

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama2three

Call your insurance team first thing this morning. They will tell you exactly which parts of your contract wording are relevant for you to give immediate notice. No one should be shouted at in their own home. Good luck xxxx

Thanks . I have now contacted my insurance who advised me to write a letter of termination offering 4 weeks notice as stated on contract with NO REASON . Just a simple 4 weeks notice termination . They said if I put some reasons she might even argue them and cause more trouble . She will know exactly what are the reasons anyway.
Very nervous about it and expect now nasty messages back from her after that
V
23-01-2019, 12:52 PM
v 1461

I would obviously have preferred immediate termination but legal advice line told me she could argue about what she did and I have no witness to her shouting at me .
23-01-2019, 01:03 PM
mama2three

That’s not good news , as lone workers most things are just our word against theirs. Do you feel able to work with her for 4 weeks? Do you thinks she’ll even come back? Don’t get into a discussion with her about the rights or wrongs or your reasons , just “personal reasons” covers it! Be ready to contact your legal team again if she starts anything , or if she badmouths you
23-01-2019, 05:49 PM
v 1461

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama2three

That’s not good news , as lone workers most things are just our word against theirs. Do you feel able to work with her for 4 weeks? Do you thinks she’ll even come back? Don’t get into a discussion with her about the rights or wrongs or your reasons , just “personal reasons” covers it! Be ready to contact your legal team again if she starts anything , or if she badmouths you

Thanks for your reply . I do not want to have to deal with her for 4 weeks and am afraid about it incase she has another turn or get violent but I thought offering the 4 weeks notice was the most professional way . I am now worried about her coming back tomorrow morning and see what she says and does .
23-01-2019, 07:11 PM
Mouse

Quote:

Originally Posted by v 1461

Thanks for your reply . I do not want to have to deal with her for 4 weeks and am afraid about it incase she has another turn or get violent but I thought offering the 4 weeks notice was the most professional way . I am now worried about her coming back tomorrow morning and see what she says and does .

Sorry, I didn't mean to like the post!

Have you given notice already or are you planning on doing it if she turns up tomorrow?

Can you have someone there with you as back up and as a witness in case she kicks of again?
23-01-2019, 07:58 PM
BallyH

Feel really upset and annoyed for you. Best of luck tomorrow. Hold your head up high and be ready for some sort of backlash/rumours as she may deny everything. Be strong. Keep grinning whilst you work through the notice period.
23-01-2019, 09:01 PM
v 1461

Yes I sent the notice today by email but no reply although I know she read it and no idea if she will come tomorrow . Luckily one of my friend can be so happy me for one hour in the morning when she comes. Not looking forward to it . I'm not good at pretending everything is ok when it's not
X
24-01-2019, 11:17 AM
chris goodyear

Sorry to hear about this I feel your pain! I'm sure you can give immediate notice with no need to work the notice period. I have done it once in the past and I know of another childminder recently who also gave notice with immediate effect due to the behaviour of the parent. Check it out properly before you agree to having the child back and if I'm wrong I'm sure others on here will say. Good luck.
24-01-2019, 11:36 AM
v 1461

Quote:

Originally Posted by chris goodyear

Sorry to hear about this I feel your pain! I'm sure you can give immediate notice with no need to work the notice period. I have done it once in the past and I know of another childminder recently who also gave notice with immediate effect due to the behaviour of the parent. Check it out properly before you agree to having the child back and if I'm wrong I'm sure others on here will say. Good luck.

Hello,
I have been in contact with a lawyer ( free advice with my insurance) and he said the easier way will be to follow the contract ( because it doesn't say on my contract anything about this case unfortunately)
Anyway we waited for toddler this morning and he didn't come , I texted mum who doesn't reply . My lawyer said to wait for a few days and if he doesn't come and no replies from parents I can just leave and go to play group as usual .
The mum seems to be bipolar ( which I guessed before but never saw it before personally ) and she exploded on me
Thanks for your reply, this website is really helpful anyway and I appreciate every comments
24-01-2019, 01:34 PM
Kiddleywinks

If your sickness policy is that child shouldn't attend with HFM, I'm afraid I would be excluding until better anyway!

It may be worth doing an incident report and informing ofsted so they've got a heads up. If she's got issues, and it certainly sounds like her behaviour was irrational at best, she could try causing problems for you with them.

Reflect on what happened, is there anything you would change either within your policies or the way you handled the situation, decide what changes you will be making if any, and then move on from it.
24-01-2019, 07:16 PM
v 1461

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiddleywinks

If your sickness policy is that child shouldn't attend with HFM, I'm afraid I would be excluding until better anyway!

It may be worth doing an incident report and informing ofsted so they've got a heads up. If she's got issues, and it certainly sounds like her behaviour was irrational at best, she could try causing problems for you with them.

Reflect on what happened, is there anything you would change either within your policies or the way you handled the situation, decide what changes you will be making if any, and then move on from it.

Good idea, I will write everything down and maybe make a few changes in my paperwork . Thanks
29-01-2019, 08:21 AM
v 1461

Hello, just a little update . Mum is not happy about having to pay final balance after receiving notice to leave , therefore she is willing to take me to court and send a complain to Ofsted .
I phoned our legal advice line again to mention that and Ofsted . They were both so nice with me and said she I had nothing to worry about and did the right thing .
Still very very upsetting and worrying thinking " what will she do next ? "😭So sad to see some people are so nasty ( especially after filling a few months ago my questionnaire where she put the child was extremely happy with me and usually didn't want to go back home at pick up time.
29-01-2019, 08:45 AM
Maza

Sending you love and strength. Hang on to the questionnaire. xxx
29-01-2019, 11:33 AM
mama2three

Absolutely , that review will counteract anything she tries to say now. She’s just bullying you to get out of paying . Hopefully your insurers will step in and she’ll be the one being taken to court.
29-01-2019, 02:40 PM
BallyH

Quote:

Originally Posted by v 1461

Hello, just a little update . Mum is not happy about having to pay final balance after receiving notice to leave , therefore she is willing to take me to court and send a complain to Ofsted .
I phoned our legal advice line again to mention that and Ofsted . They were both so nice with me and said she I had nothing to worry about and did the right thing .
Still very very upsetting and worrying thinking " what will she do next ? "😭So sad to see some people are so nasty ( especially after filling a few months ago my questionnaire where she put the child was extremely happy with me and usually didn't want to go back home at pick up time.

Big hugs. Well done for getting her to fill out the questionnaire. As others have said keep it very safe. Best of luck.
29-01-2019, 05:17 PM
v 1461

Thanks for all those lovely comments
31-01-2019, 03:04 PM
Kiddleywinks

Quote:

Originally Posted by v 1461

Hello, just a little update . Mum is not happy about having to pay final balance after receiving notice to leave , therefore she is willing to take me to court and send a complain to Ofsted .

Hmmm, I can imagine what that call will be like
Hi I'd like to complain about my childminder. My child has HFM and she won't let him attend, she has also given me 4 weeks notice as per our contract because I shouted at her for not taking my ill child, and I'm not happy to have to keep paying......

1. You're following the rules by requesting an ill child stays home
2. Ofsted aren't interested in contractual disputes
3. You have done nothing wrong :thumbsup:

Quote:

Originally Posted by v 1461

I phoned our legal advice line again to mention that and Ofsted . They were both so nice with me and said she I had nothing to worry about and did the right thing .

Absolutely correct, you have done the right thing, and handled the situation professionally. The fact that the parent isn't getting her own way and has now decided to throw her toys out of the pram is frankly, tough, and her problem :thumbsup:

Quote:

Originally Posted by v 1461

Still very very upsetting and worrying thinking " what will she do next ? "😭So sad to see some people are so nasty ( especially after filling a few months ago my questionnaire where she put the child was extremely happy with me and usually didn't want to go back home at pick up time.

I too have been on the receiving end, so you have my sympathy, but, so long as you follow your legal advice to the letter, gave ofsted the heads up as advised earlier, then they will see it for what it is and you have nothing to worry about.
You may get a letter from them, advising of a complaint received, but file it with your incident report, any communications between you and parent, including a screen shot of text messages from before there were issues to now, any paperwork, legal advice, feedback forms, etc, and when you get inspected they will go through it with you.
If appropriate to do so, they may make a mention of it indirectly that indicates towards your professional approach/manner, thereby sticking two fingers up to the complainant lol

Stay strong. It's not a pleasant experience, but, take it as a learning curve