Feel so cheesed off with the way prospective parent behaved

Hi All,

just wanted to have a little rant really. I received an enquiry from a lady looking for full time care. I agreed it would be good to meet and arranged to do so one evening at 6.30! so low and behold I receive a call an hour before the meeting to say unfortunately she cant make it as hubby has lost his keys and locked out of house. So she asked if we could meet the following night Friday instead. I said I actually was booked to help at school disco that night, but I could see what I could do. I managed to get out of helping at the disco so called her back and said OK we can meet at 6.30pm again.

So meeting goes really well in my opinion, mum says she is very keen, I felt it went well, and that this could work, I said I would be happy to offer her the space, as I feel we could work very well together. she was very keen and said it would be nice for hubby to come over, and she would be in contact by Monday to let me know. So Monday comes and goes and I hear nothing, so I was a little peeved, so Tuesday morning I sent a polite message saying

" sorry to bother you, but I hadn't heard anything yesterday, and I wondered if you had come to a decision about your childcare, I don't want to rush you but I have another family who wish to meet me if you decide against taking my space, if you could let me have an update that would be lovely. "

So its now Wednesday and absolutely zero response, this has really made me feel angry, not only did I spend time to meet this person at quite an unsociable hour, but I also cancelled helping at a school disco to do it after she cancelled the first time! then my message gets completely ignored.
is it not common courtesy that if you tell someone you will get back to them then you do, and you certainly reply to their message, since when did people become so rude!

would any of you feel the same? I am dreading doing more meetings to fill my space if this is how you get treated!

Sorry folks rant over, just needed to vent to others x

I'd phone. Messages can get missed or delayed (I have a parent whose text messages to me arrive days late!- something to do with her phone company). Phone up, hope to speak to her, or leave a message with a deadline- 'get back to me by x date or I'll have to offer space elsewhere'. And move on.
I'd always set a timescale for decision making at the end of the first meeting. So you all know where you stand and you don't have to wait around guessing.
I hope it works out for you.

Yeah I get where you're coming from completely. When you are self employed and work alone, reputation and first impressions are everything. If yr anything like me ,not only did u cancel your own plans but u probably went go bed late or got up early to make sure the house looked tidy and you looked smart and felt comfortable for your meeting! It would just have been common courtesy to get an email or text so you New either way but we all think differently and we learn from it. Do you have friends who either immediately text back or do so within a short period of time ....but then other friends that you know prob will not respond at all ,or only to their convenience!!! I suppose parents fall into the same category and you just have to get to know them and ask for a reply before a certain time if the need care on ..., otherwise the place will b offered to other families request ing additional hours!

Moggy could well be right: it could be a communication glitch.

OTOH it's often about the strange mixture of business and personal when it comes to childcare. Some parents expect a personal approach to things when it suits them (as in, you are letting them down if you refuse to bend over backwards, irrespective of whether they bother to pay you on time. ) But when it suits, they'll treat you like a business, believing 'the customer is always right' so they have no responsibility towards consideration.

My pub landlord has this a lot. About 10% of his restaurant bookings never show up. He even has people from time to time who book events and parties in his marquee, complete with buffet, decorations, etc who simply don't show, then contact him a week later demanding he refund their deposit!

People are used to being spoilt for choice when shopping in the high street or online, and transfer this attitude to childcare, where it just doesn't fit. It lets them think they can do what they want, because they think you need them far more than they need you. I come across it most weeks when they phone with an enquiry, sometimes even trying to demand and dictate terms, and I have to tell them the best they can hope for is to be added to my waiting list for a possible September 2018 vacancy.

Thanks everybody, your responses are very helpful, sometimes it’s hard being a lone worker, it’s easy to read into stuff when you can’t vent with a colleague. I think I need to take this advice on board, and in future try not to take everything to heart. Thanks all x

We can't help but take things personal sometimes, this is our home and our livelihood, and a lot rests on whether a space is taken up or not, in part I think due to our 'limited' spaces and needing to get them filled asap.

What I have learnt, for what it's worth, is that everyone loves me, everyone loves what I do, everyone wants me, until it means parting with physical cash to secure me :laughing:
At that point, everyone goes looking for someone else to offer them everything I do, everything I provide, and be everything I am, for half the price ;)
That's fine by me. I view their failure to inform me I'm not what they want after all as embarrassment on their side.
If someone else can offer my exact services for less, then good luck to them. Parents that have used me as their benchmark, I can guarantee will always compare what they wanted, against what they ultimately received, and it'll fall short by precisely the amount less they decided to pay.

So now, nothing a parent says on a visit to my face holds very much water anymore, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words :laughing:

Try putting the ball back in your own court during a visit.
Thank parent for coming, lovely to meet you, glad to hear I'm ticking all your boxes and more, that's great news, but, I will need to know if you want to reserve the space by (2 days later) as I have another parent coming to view on (3 days later). If I haven't heard by then, I'll presume you've found alternative care and I'm able offer the space to the other parent, but in the meantime if there are any other questions you need answering, please feel free to give me a call.

That way, you're not hanging on for weeks on end (and parent is saved the embarrassment of having to crawl back on everything they've said to your face lol)