parent winding me up

Hi everyone.

Back to work tommorow after 2 weeks off and im dreading having to deal with one of my parents.
Every time she comes to collect she constantly rams down my throat how well she has done in the gym today and what shes had done in the beauty salon.
The last week of term she came and collected her child and commented on how bad my cold was i told her i felt bad. She then went on banging on about how she had a bad hip because she had been out at the weekend wearing killer heels she then said the things we do to look good but i dare say you wear your trainers when you go out.

I know im probably being over sensitive but she is really dragging me down just need some advice on how to deal with her this term.


Kind Regards.

Sue.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by windles

Hi everyone.

Back to work tommorow after 2 weeks off and im dreading having to deal with one of my parents.
Every time she comes to collect she constantly rams down my throat how well she has done in the gym today and what shes had done in the beauty salon.
The last week of term she came and collected her child and commented on how bad my cold was i told her i felt bad. She then went on banging on about how she had a bad hip because she had been out at the weekend wearing killer heels she then said the things we do to look good but i dare say you wear your trainers when you go out.

I know im probably being over sensitive but she is really dragging me down just need some advice on how to deal with her this term.


Kind Regards.

Sue.

---

Smile sweetly and nod to agree with her, don't retaliate and when you shut the front door pour yourself a large glass of something!!

She obviously has a low self esteem herself so I'd just ignore her comments tbh
They reflect more on how she sees herself rather than how she views others!

Maybe just comment "wow I couldn't do what you do, I'm glad I'm happy with how I look! And that XXX (partners name if you have one) likes me as I am" 😉

Nod and smile sweetly. She'll eventually get bored. Try and make her drop-off's and collections short so as not to upset yourself.

I agree completely with Hebs, her comments say much more about her than they do about you.

It sounds as if she is very dissatisfied with her life so has to put someone else down to try and make herself feel better. Have a few phrases ready to use - how lovely, that must have been fun, well done you! She'll hopefully get fed up of bragging when she doesn't get the desired response. Even turn it into a bit of a game for yourself. Decide which phrase you want to use that day and see if you can get it into the conversation at home time! It helps take the focus off what she's actually saying and makes her comments less stinging. If you have to listen to her, at least have a bit of fun yourself :thumbsup:

If she says something specifically to put you down (like the trainer comment), again, have some vague comments ready to use - oh you'd be surprised, if only you knew etc. Do it with a little laugh and grin. She'll soon get fed up when she realised you're not going to be upset or offended.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mouse

I agree completely with Hebs, her comments say much more about her than they do about you.

It sounds as if she is very dissatisfied with her life so has to put someone else down to try and make herself feel better. Have a few phrases ready to use - how lovely, that must have been fun, well done you! She'll hopefully get fed up of bragging when she doesn't get the desired response. Even turn it into a bit of a game for yourself. Decide which phrase you want to use that day and see if you can get it into the conversation at home time! It helps take the focus off what she's actually saying and makes her comments less stinging. If you have to listen to her, at least have a bit of fun yourself :thumbsup:

If she says something specifically to put you down (like the trainer comment), again, have some vague comments ready to use - oh you'd be surprised, if only you knew etc. Do it with a little laugh and grin. She'll soon get fed up when she realised you're not going to be upset or offended.

---

Oh I do like the last paragraph Mouse. Re the trainer comments, maybe say something like '...oh but trainers with my red garter belt. Well what more can I say but I normally have to pay the price later ...............' and walk off with a wiggle.

Thanks everyone.

xx

Is she rude generally or is it 'just' her comments about the gym/salon which annoy you?

I have an old colleague who puts in all the details of her workouts on facebook. Who on earth is interested? I can't decide if she is really needy/attention seeking or narcissistic (sp?) Either way, it's really boring - if only she knew!

Do let us know what she talks to you about tomorrow!

She posts every detail of her workouts on facebook every thing she talks about is the gym.
She has a grown up daughter who is according to her a lump its getting so hard to bite my tongue.

I have a friend who does millions of classes at the gym each week whereas I go just often enough that my husband doesn't threaten to cancel the membership - I sometimes go out for coffee on my day off with this friend, but 50% of her conversation is about exercise classes, 25% is about her diet and the other 25% is about her weekend shopping trips spend traipsing round shops and sitting in coffee shops with her poor husband (most of what she buys, she takes back for a refund the next week - I went "shopping" with her once but it was more like "unshopping" as she came back with less than she went with.

I feel sorry for my friend that she values so many material things and doesn't do her exercise out in the real world - I've been away in our ancient motorhome this weekend and have walked miles through bluebell woods and shorelines and have cycled to ruined Abbeys and a military war grave, I wouldn't swap my life for hers.