2 year old's behaviour

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24-02-2017, 05:56 PM
chris goodyear

2 year old's behaviour

I need some ideas please on how to regulate a 2 year old's (boy) behaviour as I'm getting to the point of giving notice. It's difficult though as they are my next door neighbours of 10 years and in 2015 mum and dad split up. He's been here a year now and it's really stressful most days (even though it's only half a day as he goes to playschool in the morning). Mum has a new partner so he spends time here, at playschool, with one nan and dad, the other nan and with mum and partner! Monday to Wednesday when he's here it is really not enjoyable because all that happens is that he winds the other kids up and encourages them to be not behaving well. My daughter is my assistant and she wants us to give notice but it's really awkward they are my neighbours! Things he will do is :-
1. never listens (at all)
2. stands on the toys
3. runs in the house (all the time)
4. throws toys
5. whines like a baby when his big sister comes in from school (she is 10 and gets really fed up with him clinging to her all the time when she's here)
6. uses my sofas as trampolines

He will be 3 in April so I think old enough to be better behaved. Play school say he is fine there so we try always one of us being in the same room as him to keep an eye on him all the time as we thought maybe it was because he thought we couldn't see what he was doing but it didn't seem to make much difference. We alternate the toys so they don't get bored with the same things and whether there's one other child here for him to play with or five he's still the same. It is so wearing and is really getting us down. Mum is on the same page as us but I know the nans and dad are more into letting him get away with things, probably because of the situation over the last couple of years (practically since he was born) but it's not doing him (or us) any good. We've tried all being in one room to restrict the amount of room to run indoors but can't do that all day. Sorry for the rant but I've run out of ideas and really want to try and work through this without being carted off somewhere!!!
26-02-2017, 09:43 AM
Kiddleywinks

This isn't a criticism as such, but 2/3 year olds aren't built to be still, they need time to run around and 'be free'
Is it possible you could try going to the park after preschool so they can release some of that pent up energy from being in a restricted space all morning (I say restricted due to being in preschool where they may only be outside for a short time and probably again in a restricted area)
You may find an hour of 'run around a big field' time would also improve their concentration levels and listening capability ;)
Or in the garden with one of you would be an alternative if not possible to go to the park.

The whining is part and parcel of having an older sibling I think, I have whiners and just ignore it until I'm spoken to correctly with no whining
For the rest, strong reinforcement of the rules is the only thing you can really do imo, and that's a daily chore for most of us I would think.
Kids are extremely adaptable to different settings rules, so being firm consistently when with you, as I'm sure preschool are when he's there, will get the message through that at your house you do x y z not a b c.

It sounds to me like they need the rough and tumble element of playing, do you have a toy library nearby? Ours has foam blocks and shapes that are great for this type of play. I've blown up the paddling pool in the garden and put them (the blocks) in there before now to create our own 'soft play' area for the boisterous of children

Hope that helps
26-02-2017, 10:00 AM
moggy

Sounds like a lot of energy that needs to be let out. I wonder how much running around he gets at playschool- have you ever observed him there, might be interesting if you have a chance. If he is stuck indoors or restricted to table top activities he will be ready to climb the walls once he gets to you in the afternoons. I'd also recommend trying to increase the physical play- big, loud, high-energy, charging about games?
None of those behaviours are surprising in a boy of that age, TBH, but do you have other concerns? Does he show any response to consistent boundaries (like no standing on toys). Have the basics been checked like his hearing? But if there are other carers (dad/nans) with different standards it is going to be tough.
I hope things improve.
27-02-2017, 09:59 PM
chris goodyear

Quote:

Originally Posted by moggy

Sounds like a lot of energy that needs to be let out. I wonder how much running around he gets at playschool- have you ever observed him there, might be interesting if you have a chance. If he is stuck indoors or restricted to table top activities he will be ready to climb the walls once he gets to you in the afternoons. I'd also recommend trying to increase the physical play- big, loud, high-energy, charging about games?
None of those behaviours are surprising in a boy of that age, TBH, but do you have other concerns? Does he show any response to consistent boundaries (like no standing on toys). Have the basics been checked like his hearing? But if there are other carers (dad/nans) with different standards it is going to be tough.
I hope things improve.

Thanks Ladies some ideas to take on board. I think he does need to get rid of excess energy but it's hard at this time of year and with school and pre school drop offs and pick ups (I know it sounds like excuses). Was going to pick him up today with my dog and stay out with both for a time before going home for lunch but it bucketed it down at that time and he only had soft material trainers on so had to take the car. I've looked after many children in my 28 years of childminding but never had one quite like this (well I did have one a few years back but he wasn't here long thankfully) so I know what boys can be like. As to showing any response that is what is so draining as when he's bad we are telling him every minute to not throw the toys or stand on them or to stop running. He has just had his 2 year check from pre school (and he will be 3 in April) and they have noted that some areas he is in the much younger age range. Saying all that he was fine today after we had 2 weeks of really not good behaviour and before that 2 weeks of good so hopefully we are in the good zone!