Need a moan! End of day pick ups

I have a lovely parent who comes to pick up her baby and i get so annoyed as it gets so unnecessarily drawn out whilst others start to kick off because it drags on. After ten hours with the baby, as lovely as they are i am more than ready to say goodbye! I have had all day cooing over them etc but Mum insists on getting her baby to kiss the other mindee and sometimes starts handing out food, it really grates on me and I have to keep a polite face on!! Then baby runs off to play again, then i have to go fetch her, then we start the whole process again, its so painful! I make sure baby and bags are ready and hand it all over but i just don't know how to politely handle it! Then I feel all apologetic if I need to say sorry we best go and worried i look all narky and rude.....gah!! Sorry..I needed that!

Ahh, I do feel for you mumofone! Had to deal with it so many times over the 16 years I've been childminding!

It's especially hard if you have 2/3 parents collecting at the same time, getting them to sign the register, invoice receipt, accident/incident book! All this on top of children acting silly when parents collect!

Used to dread one mum getting her violin out when she collected her child as after a 12 hour day it was good for the children but very stressful for me!

I'm ready to give up and also the family orientated stuff that comes with drop off/pick up time that childmindming brings!

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Originally Posted by catswhiskers

Ahh, I do feel for you mumofone! Had to deal with it so many times over the 16 years I've been childminding!

It's especially hard if you have 2/3 parents collecting at the same time, getting them to sign the register, invoice receipt, accident/incident book! All this on top of children acting silly when parents collect!

Used to dread one mum getting her violin out when she collected her child as after a 12 hour day it was good for the children but very stressful for me!

I'm ready to give up and also the family orientated stuff that comes with drop off/pick up time that childmindming brings!

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Thanks catswhiskers :-) Are you giving up CM'ing?

Lol, oh god, that would finish me OFF! A violin?! I love it!!

I remember the post, i don't know who it was but they said that a Dad on pickup used to start having a picnic in her hallway!!!! It still makes me laugh every time i think about it! :-)

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Originally Posted by mumofone

Thanks catswhiskers :-) Are you giving up CM'ing?

Lol, oh god, that would finish me OFF! A violin?! I love it!!

I remember the post, i don't know who it was but they said that a Dad on pickup used to start having a picnic in her hallway!!!! It still makes me laugh every time i think about it! :-)

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Oh, I remember the picnic one! I wonder what ever happened there!

If you want to get a grip on home time collections you need to decide how you want it to work and not worry about how you're going to come across to parents. I always do doorstep handovers now. I explain to parents that it's the most beneficial way for the children (always word it that it's for the children's benefit - how many parents could argue with that?) as it's less stressful and stops them getting over excited.
When there is a knock at the door I look to see who it is, get the right child, put their shoes and coat on then open the door. hand the child over so they're out of the house. If the parent wants to chat at all it's up to them to control their child on their side if the doorstep. That's usually enough to stop them from staying long! If the child tries to come back into the house, I block their way, shepherd them back out and say "oh no you don't. You're off home with mummy/daddy."

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Originally Posted by Mouse

Oh, I remember the picnic one! I wonder what ever happened there!

If you want to get a grip on home time collections you need to decide how you want it to work and not worry about how you're going to come across to parents. I always do doorstep handovers now. I explain to parents that it's the most beneficial way for the children (always word it that it's for the children's benefit - how many parents could argue with that?) as it's less stressful and stops them getting over excited.
When there is a knock at the door I look to see who it is, get the right child, put their shoes and coat on then open the door. hand the child over so they're out of the house. If the parent wants to chat at all it's up to them to control their child on their side if the doorstep. That's usually enough to stop them from staying long! If the child tries to come back into the house, I block their way, shepherd them back out and say "oh no you don't. You're off home with mummy/daddy."

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You see that didn't work with my one parent - he would let the child have a good runaround/trample on flower beds in our front garden. To make it worse, the front of our garden is a communal one, so I had a responsibility to my neighbours too. One night, the dad and mindee started a game of throwing the teddy in the air and catching it. They were throwing it so high that I could see it popping up at my first floor window! You can imagine the excitement/commotion that was causing in the garden. One night after I had said goodbye and gone indoors, a friend of theirs walked past with his own toddler son - he walked down my path and the two dads chatted on my doorstep while both boys ran around in my garden! The non mindee was standing on the wooden edging of one of our flower beds and I know from experience that it breaks easily. I was forced to confront the other dad and he did apologise but I wish it hadn't had to happen. I was so worked up and probably came across as really rude. So, my advice would be to deal with it when you are in a calm frame of mind, don't wait until you are pushed over the edge because you won't handle it as professionally as you would otherwise. I was so stressed afterwards thinking that there was going to be cross words said to me at our next meeting, but nothing was said. Very sad because I loved the mindee to bits.

Gosh, the violin made me laugh too - but I do feel your pain! Yes, I wonder what happened to the picnic parent!

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Originally Posted by Maza

You see that didn't work with my one parent - he would let the child have a good runaround/trample on flower beds in our front garden. To make it worse, the front of our garden is a communal one, so I had a responsibility to my neighbours too. One night, the dad and mindee started a game of throwing the teddy in the air and catching it. They were throwing it so high that I could see it popping up at my first floor window! You can imagine the excitement/commotion that was causing in the garden. One night after I had said goodbye and gone indoors, a friend of theirs walked past with his own toddler son - he walked down my path and the two dads chatted on my doorstep while both boys ran around in my garden! The non mindee was standing on the wooden edging of one of our flower beds and I know from experience that it breaks easily. I was forced to confront the other dad and he did apologise but I wish it hadn't had to happen. I was so worked up and probably came across as really rude. So, my advice would be to deal with it when you are in a calm frame of mind, don't wait until you are pushed over the edge because you won't handle it as professionally as you would otherwise. I was so stressed afterwards thinking that there was going to be cross words said to me at our next meeting, but nothing was said. Very sad because I loved the mindee to bits.

Gosh, the violin made me laugh too - but I do feel your pain! Yes, I wonder what happened to the picnic parent!

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I can imagine that would be a nightmare. The children do sometimes run on our front garden and I warn the parents that there is often fox poop on the grass. The first time their child treads in it is usually the last time the parent lets them run about!

Oh, I love the sound of a violin- played reasonably well of course!
I really would love a parent to give an impromptu performance.......but I do understand the difficulties hand over is sometimes.

Personally I don't mind parents coming in and chatting whilst I or they pop shoes and coats on, it helps me develop a positive relationship with them as we usually talk about the day. But my home time is between 4.30-5 so not late and time for chat, plus I have no other family living here that need my attention at that time. If I do need it to be swifter I say....on Thursday I mentioned that I had a concert to attend on Friday so we need to be finished swiftly ....both parents arrived early to give me more time to get there. They often do this. It's swings and roundabouts. On the other hand I also have a parent that wants to get home and not spend time here as she has a journey to make to get home, so I usually quickly put the shoes on as mum picks up the coat and the child doesn't feel rushed but it takes barely a few minutes.

Like others have said though, it's up to you to set out a going home routine that suits you and your family and the parents - then stick to it.

There's a time and place for the violin though, lol!

Yes, all the factors you mentioned come into play Floradora, (later finishing times, having own little ones) which affect our stress levels at collection time. The main difference though is parents who can't assess a situation and know instinctively when enough is enough, or tonight is not the time. I have only ever had problems with one set of parents - all my others have just 'got it'. I enjoyed my chats at the end of the day with other parents, but they expected their children to continue to respect my property during the chat and then the minute any child - mine or theirs - expressed the need for more adult attention then they just called it a day and left, knowing that they could contact me later if they needed to still discuss something further.

Not meaning to sound dramatic, but I am a bit scarred by my experiences with the one family. So much so that I have written bullet points about drop off and collection - with specific examples - which I will go over with future parents before they sign the contract. Obviously I will need to be careful about how I sound when discussing it, I don't want to make myself sound cold hearted and a child hater beyond 6pm, but I do feel it is easier to discuss these things before they become an issue. I would advise all childminders to do the same.

I know exactly what you mean...

I have two parents who want to tell me their life story at both drop off and collection (and I get endless messages throughout the day for chats). Whilst they are very nice and I like to chat to them, they are paying me to take care of their child and whilst I am stood at the door they kids are playing havoc and who knows what, the point is cant see them / give them the attention I need when I'm focused on the parent.

I was thinking of sending a letter to all my parents to cover the following points:

Will answer the door but then close it again to them whilst I get their child and get them ready. (and not to take office to have a door closed on them again) only my toddler will be trying to escape. :rolleyes:
It will be a simple hand over and I write an extensive diary on my online system
In the morning request them to do simple hand over and if they have anything they need to say at length to put it in the online system communication section or via text/email.

I was going to mention something about risk assessment and safeguarding but wasn't sure where to start. Do any of you have any experience with this? Please help this is making it a really frustrating part of the job.