Do kids need a birthday party every year?

I know parties have got out of hand recently with cost and showiness, but that's not what I'm posting about.

DD's seventh birthday is coming up. For the last two years she has had a joint party with two other girls and they have invited the whole class. Shared cost, shared organisation, shared stress, so over all not too bad or pricey. We hired out a church hall and got an entertainer.

This year, the trend is to do smaller more intimate parties at home and DD would prefer that anyway, she has said. However, our flat just isn't suitable in many ways. We put it to her last night that she can have a fancy day out in a safari park (just with us) instead and she decided that she would like that. However, now I am feeling guilty that I am depriving her of the social aspect of a party. How important is this?

It's not about the money, because I could easily throw together a traditional fun, cost effective party at home. Do/did your kids mark the occasion with friends every year?

No, I didn't do one every year and as a kid myself I only remember having a couple.

A lovely day spent with family is much better anyway. Sometimes parties can just be about stress and before you know it the hour is over.

Safari park sounds like a fab idea :D:thumbsup:

As dd got older she now prefers going out for pizza with family or with a couple of friends or a cinema trip with a sleepover



Edited to say, looking back at ds and dd party pictures there's a few kids on it that I think 'who are they?' I cant even remember who they were, just random kids out of her class who she didn't really play with...lol

No I don't do a party for my kids every year. They have had a few over the years but usually it's something along the lines of invite a friend or 2 to the cinema and then out for a meal somewhere afterwards.

xxx

I think each of my boys have had 1 'big' party each. Other years have been something like 8 friends to a local playarea with food included. That all stopped around the age of your DD. Then my boys would have a family birthday 'treat' but also 2/3 close friends home for birthday tea. Some years their birthday fell on a school day and I would collect all the kids from school and have a play and birthday tea here then they'd be collected 6pm ish and then we'd have an hour or so before bedtime. Those years the family birthday treat would then wait to the qeekend. Maybe you could do something like this. Small with good friend, plus the family treat separate.

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Originally Posted by MOH

I think each of my boys have had 1 'big' party each. Other years have been something like 8 friends to a local playarea with food included. That all stopped around the age of your DD. Then my boys would have a family birthday 'treat' but also 2/3 close friends home for birthday tea. Some years their birthday fell on a school day and I would collect all the kids from school and have a play and birthday tea here then they'd be collected 6pm ish and then we'd have an hour or so before bedtime. Those years the family birthday treat would then wait to the qeekend. Maybe you could do something like this. Small with good friend, plus the family treat separate.

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I considered the 2/3 special friends, but it was quickly becoming 8/9 special friends! I never thought I would say that inviting the whole class would be easier!

I agreed to a Pizza express meal with 5 of dd's friends when she was in Year 6. She originally invited 4 friends but a new girl had started the school that she had got friendly with and asked if she could invite her too. So I agreed

The meal went fine although I always cringe at the giggly noise they made when other people/couples were out for a 'quiet meal' lol

All I can say for the sleepover with 6 pre-teen girls is NEVER AGAIN! The new girl was so loud and they were all so giggly and squealy. They were in the lounge with airbeds, I went down at midnight to ask them to start calming down which they did for about 5mins.
I asked them again at 1pm and so on...and on..and on..until 5.30am :angry: I had little naps here and there and then was woken up by squeals and running around.

I held my temper but was so angry as I didn't want to go down on her birthday and tell all her friends off. At 5.30am I burst in the room and shouted at the whole lot of them like a wild animal...lol :laughing:

Funnily enough, they were quiet after that...but I was knackered the whole of Sunday, so was everyone else :rolleyes:

Dd and the loud girl did become best friends and she's been over many times so I didn't scare them all off...

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Originally Posted by JCrakers

I agreed to a Pizza express meal with 5 of dd's friends when she was in Year 6. She originally invited 4 friends but a new girl had started the school that she had got friendly with and asked if she could invite her too. So I agreed The meal went fine although I always cringe at the giggly noise they made when other people/couples were out for a 'quiet meal' lol All I can say for the sleepover with 6 pre-teen girls is NEVER AGAIN! The new girl was so loud and they were all so giggly and squealy. They were in the lounge with airbeds, I went down at midnight to ask them to start calming down which they did for about 5mins. I asked them again at 1pm and so on...and on..and on..until 5.30am :angry: I had little naps here and there and then was woken up by squeals and running around. I held my temper but was so angry as I didn't want to go down on her birthday and tell all her friends off. At 5.30am I burst in the room and shouted at the whole lot of them like a wild animal...lol :laughing: Funnily enough, they were quiet after that...but I was knackered the whole of Sunday, so was everyone else :rolleyes: Dd and the loud girl did become best friends and she's been over many times so I didn't scare them all off...

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Lol I don't know why but I love this story!!! :-) x

Oh JCrackers, that is so funny! Can you imagine my downstairs neighbours embracing that?

The trend when my boys were small was to have sports hall parties where all the children in a class just ran round and little supervision on a bouncy castle in the hall - I hated them going , mine never got hurt but there was always an accident! So I went the total opposite - we did traditional 1 hour parties to start with with pass the parcel, musical statues, a birthday tea and gone...this developed into supervised activities ( both teachers with skills so we used them for parties)...cycle parties - we can cycle for quite a while through the lakes area in our nature reserve...then cycle with a couple of friends to a field and ball games and a picnic....a long hike with back packs and a camp fire.....a making afternoon - craft, cooking the birthday tea....then DH took over these...to start with it was a lego mega make..then meccano..then bird boxes ( he prepared it all) and a musical instrument...painting Warhammer figures and airfix kits ( the children loved these as not many did model building) .this developed into making a circuit in the garden( then on the field) for skateboard and bikes...and camping overnight all with just a 2/3 guests...special friends only...cost was very little for all of them....eventually, as teenage years came along we went for a weekend away 4 times a year on our birthday...travel inn/ premier inn type places... Birthday persons choice! This has continued and DH and I still do it...the boys enthusiastically come along if it's a place they want to go..or if not, they say they are busy...we are frequently trying to think of places we know they won't be interested in!!
So do you have to have a party? DH and I never had a party when we were children, so we think yes, yes, yes, we always just invited a few special friends but , before the weekends away started we always did it ON their birthday, school day or not...I hate moving special days to weekends ! When we went away for the weekend we always had a celebration of some sort on birthday...special tea a must and a birthday cake always.......but I think DH and I enjoyed hosting parties as much as the birthday boy enjoyed sharing a special day with friends, something different than their normal weekends and holidays with us.

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Originally Posted by FloraDora

The trend when my boys were small was to have sports hall parties where all the children in a class just ran round and little supervision on a bouncy castle in the hall - I hated them going , mine never got hurt but there was always an accident! So I went the total opposite - we did traditional 1 hour parties to start with with pass the parcel, musical statues, a birthday tea and gone...this developed into supervised activities ( both teachers with skills so we used them for parties)...cycle parties - we can cycle for quite a while through the lakes area in our nature reserve...then cycle with a couple of friends to a field and ball games and a picnic....a long hike with back packs and a camp fire.....a making afternoon - craft, cooking the birthday tea....then DH took over these...to start with it was a lego mega make..then meccano..then bird boxes ( he prepared it all) and a musical instrument...painting Warhammer figures and airfix kits ( the children loved these as not many did model building) .this developed into making a circuit in the garden( then on the field) for skateboard and bikes...and camping overnight all with just a 2/3 guests...special friends only...cost was very little for all of them....eventually, as teenage years came along we went for a weekend away 4 times a year on our birthday...travel inn/ premier inn type places... Birthday persons choice! This has continued and DH and I still do it...the boys enthusiastically come along if it's a place they want to go..or if not, they say they are busy...we are frequently trying to think of places we know they won't be interested in!!
So do you have to have a party? DH and I never had a party when we were children, so we think yes, yes, yes, we always just invited a few special friends but , before the weekends away started we always did it ON their birthday, school day or not...I hate moving special days to weekends ! When we went away for the weekend we always had a celebration of some sort on birthday...special tea a must and a birthday cake always.......but I think DH and I enjoyed hosting parties as much as the birthday boy enjoyed sharing a special day with friends, something different than their normal weekends and holidays with us.

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Those parties sound fantastic. Great imagination. I bet the kids loved them!

When DD had her 4th and 5th birthday parties she had it at home with about six friends. It was different then, because our downstairs neighbours were out at work all day and the kids were smaller - took up less space, lol. She had one on the afternoon on her actual birthday, I like tradition. However, I found that a big chunk of her birthday was me in the kitchen doing all the prep work and ignoring her (DH at work, no family to help, so I was by myself) and I changed my mind about having parties on the actual day of the birthday - although of course we always make it a special day.

I love planning themed parties - although for two years running she wanted the same theme (dinosaurs). I only had an 8th birthday party with friends. The rest of the time we had a family party tea- but we had a huge family and so it was always festive, and most of the kids in our neighbourhood only had family parties anyway, so I never felt like I was different. If I lived in a house, rather than a flat she could have a party at home, but we don't and so I guess we just have to deal with it, but parental guilt is a terrible thing. :(

Floradora, you made me laugh when you said your sons pretend they are busy! Who do they think they are kidding!

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Originally Posted by Maza

but parental guilt is a terrible thing. :(

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Tell me about it. One year one of my sons kept telling everyone I didn't let him have a birthday cake on his birthday. I think he was about 6 and I felt awful when everyone looked at me accusingly and said "aw, that's a shame". He even wrote in his school book that it was his birthday "but mummy wouldn't let me have a cake"...complete with sad face! No mention of daddy in all this...mummy had to take all the blame.

What he didn't say was that he'd had a big cake a couple of days before at his party and then we had a small cake with candles on his actual birthday. It was a sponge cake with a bit of icing and some candles. I'd thought that it was the blowing out of the candles that was the important bit, but obviously not!

I always had a party when I was little. They were either at home or in the local scout hut with mum making food - cheese and pineapple on sticks, sausages on sticks (are cocktail sticks still as popular now?). It was the one time of year we had fizzy drinks as well, although I didn't like anything flavoured, so still just had water!

My children have always had parties - usually something like the soft play centre or a football party at the sports hall. I didn't ever do parties at home for the boys, but I have let DD have some of hers at home as she's got older - pamper parties, sleepovers etc. The boys stopped having parties when they left junior school, but DD still has a birthday get together with friends. We'll go for a meal, or to get their nails done, then it's back home for DVDs, popcorn and enough sweets to give them a sugar rush for a week!

If your DD likes the idea of a special day out, then go for it :thumbsup: