I'm at the end of my rope!!!

[village kids]

Hi there i dont know if ive posted in correct thread?

I will try explain what has happened in the simplest way i can and sorry if it really long its complicated!

I have looked after 2 children,1 for 15 months the other for 9 months
All has been fine and rosey until due to me hurting my back i have had to ring parents and advise i have been given a 2week sicknote and waiting for an mri scan and will keep them informed,that surely is all i was required to do?
The next day (been off 1 day only) i had 20+ texts from the 2 parents with their problems/what are we going to do etc? whilst i sympathize what can i do?
One stuck 4weeks notice through my door on day 2 off me been off sick and has but child A in a nursery,later that night i recieved a text that wasnt meant for me saying im been a pain in the ,I then rang and said oops that wasnt meant for me was it? can you explain what you meant by that!
She just said sorry but i cant do with you been off so i want to end contract,told her fair enough but she owes me the 4weeks(so far shes not paid it)

Then i rang the other parent B that was harrassing me by text and said i understand her difficult position but there is nothing I can do about the situation,She kept banging on about notice etc and i calmly said it cant be given whilst im on sick leave,IF and when the tests come back bad i will gladly agree to mutually end contracts(I'm not unreasonable am i?)

I heard nothing back until yesterday i recieved a recorded letter with 2 copies of a document she herself had drafted to end contracts now she asked me to sign one & put in sae to send one back to her! I simply cannot believe my eyes

I feel as though i am being backed into a corner here to just end contracts cos it aint worth the stress but on the other hand she signed and agreed to the contract.

How many weeks can a childminder be off sick before parents have a right to terminate?

I have rang ncma but nobody has bothered to get back to me!
I am really thinking of sacking the lot,
Are we childminders just like old hoovers that get thrown out when we dont/cant work anymore?!

Ohh and after all this time have I had one call,text or visit to see how im doing...no have i

Please help/advise if you can Thanks XXX

[Carol M]

Oh hun, I sympathise.
I was hospitalised suddenly and possible diagnosis of leukaemia.
Most of my parents were worried about me over the worry caused by me not being able to care for lo's. I was lucky my emergency back up minder could help or put parents in touch with other minders too.
One set of parents gave notice whilst I was off and NCMA advised that as I hadn't given a return to work date I should not really ask for paid notice. No problem as actually quite pleased to loose this family!
Once I had a return to work date ,paid notice would run from then.
So if you are off for two weeks, no fee received,paid notice period starts on your return to work.
Have you got other minders you can call for help with sickness cover?
Rest up and get better. I'm pleased to say that I had ITP not leukaemia and in the 1 1/2 yrs back to work I haven't had a day off sick and I know which families value me
Good luck in your negotiations with your families and as to the letter you recieved Tell her you will be following the agreed terms and conditions of YOUR CONTRACT with them and return the letter unsigned!!!
Carol xx

[singingcactus]

Sorry to hear you have hurt yourself. Parents have the right to give notice anytime they want to, a childminder does not need to have been off work for a specific number of weeks - if the arrangement is no longer working then notice can be given at any time.
You are unable to provide care for at least two weeks - maybe longer - who knows. So if you have four weeks notice written into your contracts then the most you could expect parents to pay for is the final 2 weeks of the period. You cannot expect pay when you are unable to provide the service - unless you also have that written into your contract as well.
It is horrible that you have hurt yourself, but you cannot expect parents to take time off work until you are able to return to work. It is hard enough to find permanent care sometimes, let alone temporary care for an undefined period of time.

[Louise0208]

im inclined to agree with cactus

i dont agree with the pestering but if i was the parent i would probably have to give notice too, my ex childminder had a medical condition which caused 'flare-ups' she would take time off & id be in limbo & couldnt work myself as i had 3 kids to find care for (which in turn my bills didnt get paid) ....in the end i lost the job through her time off

i know this is going to sound unsympathetic (its not meant to but having been the 'parent' i see everything from both points)
unfortunately the parents concern is paying there bills, finding care for there kids & not loosing there job first then your health second
im sure if you were in the same situation & had no-one to step in then the not-knowing would seriously you off

I would rather give notice & find another minder than 'sit it out & wait'

i know you didnt want to hear that....i shall go & hide now

get well soon

[Goatgirl]

Hi ,
Sorry you are having such a rubbish time at the moment.
I think the parents whose children you care for are being very insensitive and in the case of the one who has re written your terms for notice, downride rude!! you are right to feel upset and angry.

Unfortunately I would feel I didn't want to work with either of these families after such treatment and be terminating both contracts. I would try to speak with NCMA if that's who you are insured with and write unemotional termination letters to each, based on advice from NCMA legal team.

I'd keep it simple:

"I have taken legal advice and am writing to advise you that our contract will terminate on ?/?/?.
As per the terms of our contract, £?.?? fees will be due on ?/?/?."

Any unpaid fees will be recovered through the small claims court."

Regards, x "

Then concentrate on resting up, getting better and look forward to some more caring families coming along when you are

Hope your week gets better and the tests are positive
best wishes,
Wendy

[The Juggler]

that is an awful way for a parent to be with you hon. awful and I'm sorry you are injured.

However, have to agree with cactus and Louise as a parent if this had happened with my minder I think unless I had genuinely good back up (reliable) I would probably find another minder and give notice However, I would not behave the way this parent has.

I also think (but check with MM/NCMA) that if you are not fit to work the notice period then you cant' charge for it. A parent can't be expected to wait until you are well again so that you can work the notice - horrible as that is hon.

I really hope this rude parent gets treated the same way by someone soon so she knows what it feels like but meanwhile, I'd concentrate on getting well and advertise once you feel better.

[village kids]

Hi thanks for your replys! I HAVE given them alternate childminders numbers to use and also paid back any fees they had paid up front so they are not paying out twice.1 is currently using my freind who is a childminder.The other in a nursery.I dont see what more i could have done?
I myself have had childminders for my 3 children and i would NEVER have treated them this way,if your ill your ill!
I have given them a return date and also agreed to end contract mutually if i am unable to go back to caring for the babys by that date.....I feel used and abused and wondering if this job is worth all the ?
Things are only rosy if your not off ill! At the end of the day THEY are responsible for their children not me! I have had NO time off sick until this,I broke my wrist at work and took on an assistant to work with me for 6 weeks whilst i had a pot on so i didnt let them down!
I have rung n.c.m.a 4 times today and been told they would call me back but they have not

[The Juggler]

sounds like you've bent over backwards hon. remember this is only one parent. they are NOT all like this. I really hope you feel better soon. I can't believe NCMA haven't replied. I feel a complaint coming on.

[Carol M]

It does leave a bitter taste but this is the nature of our job. No, you can't help being sick, very often caused by the nature of our job, but parents often don't see past their immediate needs, understandably! You have done all you can with regards to finding them alternative care and the ball is in their court now. If they decide to move to another childminder the exact same thing could happen again!
I think this is where the nurseries have one over us but this often reflects in price and practice! I'm not dissing nurseries at all, there are some fab ones, it's just if a staff member is off sick other staff are available to step in. This often gives parents peace of mind if they do not have family close to call on.
I do hope you are feeling better today and I do hope NCMA come up with some advice for you, that is what we pay our membership for!!!!!
Hugs
Carol xx

[onceinabluemoon]

I am sorry you have hurt your back.

What is in your contract regarding minder illness and payments? I personally do not charge if I cannot work through illness but I am aware that we are all different. If you have 'no payment for minder illness' it is unlikely that you would be able to charge for a notice period that you are unable to work.

Do you have it written into your contract that termination cannot occur on either side whilst minder or child is off ill or are you assuming this cannot be done as it is morally unkind?

Hope NCMA get back to you soon with some legal advice.

I hope you feel better soon, I had severe back pain (sciatica) for over 18 months so have some idea of the pain you must be in now (((hugs)))

[sandy64]

hi im sorry to hear your in pain really not nice, it also sounds like the parents are being unfair to you youve given them alternate c.m to cover whilst youre off sick. which is all anyone could do and they shouldnt be texting things like they have i presume youve had a good working relationship with these parents? maybe they were just panicking that they would lose there jobs if they had 2 weeks off work its hard for all but its the way theyve done it which isnt nice. i hope you feel better soon, please dont give up im sure things will work out in the end take care

[village kids]

Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for all the help and advise you have given me

My tablets (14 aday!) are kicking in and i'm almost pain free for the first time in 5 weeks,although i feel a bit squiffy lol!

I have decided to write my own termination notice as i'm not sure i want this parent back after all that has happened and i won't charge her as i can't be bothered with the hassle involved.

I am STILL waiting for N.C.M.A to respond to the the 6 calls i made on friday
wonder what we pay our fees for?

I have decided just to have the older children when i'm better
I have broken my wrist putting my pram on the bus and slipped a disc and have sciatica now as well,all through work so i think my bodies telling me something don't you?!

Carol M so glad you got negative results

onceinabluemoon i sympathize and i hope your doing better?!

Thanks again to everyone who replied to my post

[singingcactus]

So glad to hear you are feeling so much better. You sound more upbeat now too, now you've made the decision. I know it's not the way you wanted it to go, but it does now leave the door open for some fantastic parents to come into your life. Good luck

[Carol M]

It's good to hear you are feeling SQUIFFY, good old pills
Glad you have made your decision and now you can move forward.
Hugs again
Carol xx

[The Juggler]

glad to hear you are feeling better - and lucky you feeling a bit high too

[Ripeberry]

Sorry to hear you have hurt yourself. Parents have the right to give notice anytime they want to, a childminder does not need to have been off work for a specific number of weeks - if the arrangement is no longer working then notice can be given at any time.
You are unable to provide care for at least two weeks - maybe longer - who knows. So if you have four weeks notice written into your contracts then the most you could expect parents to pay for is the final 2 weeks of the period. You cannot expect pay when you are unable to provide the service - unless you also have that written into your contract as well.
It is horrible that you have hurt yourself, but you cannot expect parents to take time off work until you are able to return to work. It is hard enough to find permanent care sometimes, let alone temporary care for an undefined period of time.

Sometimes things like this happen for a reason and you've found out how 'nasty' these families really are. Hope you get better soon and look after yourself

[dundas]

Hi there i dont know if ive posted in correct thread?

I will try explain what has happened in the simplest way i can and sorry if it really long its complicated!

I have looked after 2 children,1 for 15 months the other for 9 months
All has been fine and rosey until due to me hurting my back i have had to ring parents and advise i have been given a 2week sicknote and waiting for an mri scan and will keep them informed,that surely is all i was required to do?
The next day (been off 1 day only) i had 20+ texts from the 2 parents with their problems/what are we going to do etc? whilst i sympathize what can i do?
One stuck 4weeks notice through my door on day 2 off me been off sick and has but child A in a nursery,later that night i recieved a text that wasnt meant for me saying im been a pain in the ,I then rang and said oops that wasnt meant for me was it? can you explain what you meant by that!
She just said sorry but i cant do with you been off so i want to end contract,told her fair enough but she owes me the 4weeks(so far shes not paid it)

Then i rang the other parent B that was harrassing me by text and said i understand her difficult position but there is nothing I can do about the situation,She kept banging on about notice etc and i calmly said it cant be given whilst im on sick leave,IF and when the tests come back bad i will gladly agree to mutually end contracts(I'm not unreasonable am i?)

I heard nothing back until yesterday i recieved a recorded letter with 2 copies of a document she herself had drafted to end contracts now she asked me to sign one & put in sae to send one back to her! I simply cannot believe my eyes

I feel as though i am being backed into a corner here to just end contracts cos it aint worth the stress but on the other hand she signed and agreed to the contract.

How many weeks can a childminder be off sick before parents have a right to terminate?

I have rang ncma but nobody has bothered to get back to me!
I am really thinking of sacking the lot,
Are we childminders just like old hoovers that get thrown out when we dont/cant work anymore?!

Ohh and after all this time have I had one call,text or visit to see how im doing...no have i

Please help/advise if you can Thanks XXX

i think it is terrible how you were treated. i would tell mums to take their children else were