outing to a wedding?
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  1. #1
    Hollyhock Guest

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    Hello!

    My daughter in law's wedding date is set for a Monday (for whichever reason), and three out of four children I would be minding that day can stay home without a problem. The fourth, however, would be with me 8:30 - 5:30 and it would be rather difficult for her parents to find other childcare. Now I wonder whether I could just take her along. There will be other children at the wedding, and I can imagine it might be a rather fun experience for her.
    I'd be happy to hear your advice!

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    I should imagine that if the parents have the choice of staying at home or letting the little one go to the wedding then they would probably give you permission to take her to the wedding.

    Not sure how you would stand with alcohol being served - even if you yourself don't drink. I'm sure someone else will be able to advise you on that one. Are you sure you can't just book the day off? It's amazing how other childcare options can suddenly appear when parents are forced to think about it, although I know it can be very difficult too for some families. I'm just not sure you would enjoy it as much with the little one in your care.

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    Personally i think you should book the day off and enjoy the wedding- regardless of the parents struggling to get other childcare. You will hardly be able to relax and enjoy yourself if you have to keep a mindee in sight or hearing all day.

    The parents will just have to book a day off
    When someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to go slam a revolving door

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    It sounds a nice idea but I would not, myself. There is alcohol there, presumably, so you are leaving yourself open to someone saying they do not think it is appropriate. You will be working, not able to relax and enjoy the day.
    Even though parents may find it difficult to find alternative care they would just have to, just like if you or your family were suddenly sick. I think too often put our mindees' families before our own. Part of choosing to use a CMer is knowing that there is always the occasional day/week we have to close. if they want 100% certainty of opening they should use a nursery or find a back-up.

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    It may be "rather difficult" for parents to arrange alternative care, but that doesn't mean it's impossible or that they can't do it.

    How long is it till the wedding? If you have given enough notice I would leave it up to parents to sort something out. Like someone else said, if you were suddenly ill they would have to make alternative arrangements with no notice at all.

    I'm sure mindee would have a lovely time at the wedding, but what if she doesn't? Would you leave because she was unhappy? Is it just the service you would go to or the whole day? Personally, if I was invited to a wedding, the last thing I would want to do was look after a small child. I don't have any of my own, so wouldn't want to spend an enjoyable day looking after someone else's!

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    Don't know the relationship your mindees have with each other, but would it be worth putting the feelers out incase one of the other parents could look after this mindee for the day as a favour? They would have to arrange it amongst themselves but maybe the stuck parent could return the favour one day.

  7. #7
    Hollyhock Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maza View Post
    I should imagine that if the parents have the choice of staying at home or letting the little one go to the wedding then they would probably give you permission to take her to the wedding.

    Not sure how you would stand with alcohol being served - even if you yourself don't drink. I'm sure someone else will be able to advise you on that one. Are you sure you can't just book the day off? It's amazing how other childcare options can suddenly appear when parents are forced to think about it, although I know it can be very difficult too for some families. I'm just not sure you would enjoy it as much with the little one in your care.
    Thank you Maza,

    it's a Muslim wedding, so the alcohol question is a non-topic, fortunately

  8. #8
    Hollyhock Guest

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    Thank you for all the replies!

    I suppose I wouldn't consider bringing the little one if it wasn't a Muslim wedding, at a location set up like someone's garden - there definitely isn't going to be any alcohol, and no service either (just a 15min conversation between the bride and groom and the imam, and the signing of the contract). What I was wondering was only if it is legally in order, as long as I have the parent's permission.
    Thank you again!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollyhock View Post
    Thank you for all the replies!

    I suppose I wouldn't consider bringing the little one if it wasn't a Muslim wedding, at a location set up like someone's garden - there definitely isn't going to be any alcohol, and no service either (just a 15min conversation between the bride and groom and the imam, and the signing of the contract). What I was wondering was only if it is legally in order, as long as I have the parent's permission.
    Thank you again!
    But don't you want to go and just enjoy yourself without a mindee in tow. Put yourself first
    When someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to go slam a revolving door

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  11. #10
    Hollyhock Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by FussyElmo View Post
    But don't you want to go and just enjoy yourself without a mindee in tow. Put yourself first
    Thank you FussyElmo...yes, perhaps. I guess I kind of enjoy having a little one to look after

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollyhock View Post
    Thank you for all the replies!

    I suppose I wouldn't consider bringing the little one if it wasn't a Muslim wedding, at a location set up like someone's garden - there definitely isn't going to be any alcohol, and no service either (just a 15min conversation between the bride and groom and the imam, and the signing of the contract). What I was wondering was only if it is legally in order, as long as I have the parent's permission.
    Thank you again!
    In that case I think it would be a lovely experience for the child. I can't see any problem with it as long she is in your care the whole time and not left alone with anyone else.

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    Quick question you say its our daughter in laws wedding so does that mean your son?
    When someone tells you nothing is impossible, tell them to go slam a revolving door

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  16. #13
    Hollyhock Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by FussyElmo View Post
    Quick question you say its our daughter in laws wedding so does that mean your son?
    Nope FussyElmo, it's my husband's daughter!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hollyhock View Post
    Nope FussyElmo, it's my husband's daughter!
    oh goodness,

    I wouldn't then be taking a minded child with me, if it was a family member.


    I have families for whom me taking a day off is not convienent, and I work round them when I can, but occasionally, I have to! The same as if I am was ill, at least with me taking the day off, I can let them know in advance!

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    I told my Ofsted inspector that once I took 3 children to a funeral service as it was early afternoon and inconvenient for all 3 parents to come home for (all 3 were teachers or lecturers), the funeral was being held in the hall next to church as church was being renovated, children were familiar with the hall as we went there for toddlers, it was a happy celebration of life. I thought that I had blown my inspection after revealing it (we had been talking about behaviour) but 5 mins later she gave me Outstanding, so don't worry about Ofsted, if the parent gives permission and really can't arrange anything else, then I would take the mindee.

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  20. #16
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    Goodness there are some childminder (not me) who take mindees on holiday with them , can't see the harm of taking little one to a wedding. What an experience

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