unsettled child policy (advise needed)

[littlelollies]

Well I have had the day from hell....

My 8 month old mindee has spent 2.5 hours of today screaming none stop....

After an hour I called mom for some advise and said that if that doesn't work she needs to collect him when I then called she ignored my calls them switched her phone off.... I text and left answer phone messages until after a further 20 mins I contacted the emergency contacts who both said they were at work and would not leave...i then tried mom numerous times until she finally called me back and said she would be 15 mins to which s'd was 50 mins

I handed child over and she said I cannot believe you moan about a crying baby you are paid to listen to babies cry I expect you to do what I pay you for

Then text me and said baby was hungry how dare I not feed a crying baby

I don't know what to do mom is impossible and down right rude

My main worry was it was out of character for baby if was dry warm fed (obviously) he had a massive sleep and nothing I did calmed him and I had other little ones needing taking the toilet nappies doing snack dishing out and they needed me to play

I am so angry and upset feel like I have failed today

Sorry to have ranted :-D

[sarah707]

Lots of little ones cry / scream for no apparent reason - it's often teeth.

If they have full tummies, are winded and not in pain, have been changed and are not tired then I normally carry them for a while, put them down where they can see us play, make sure they are not bored (but not overstimulated either) and get on with our day.

The other children can normally tune out the noise for a little while so we do some activities, then they get on and play and baby can have another cuddle... either that or I have in the past used a sling.

Maybe going out for a walk will calm baby too? We do that a lot if they are unusually fractious.

It's a tough call - nobody can say you did the wrong thing sending home because we weren't there. I wouldn't normally send home unless the baby was clearly ill though... I just cope through the noise and make sure the other children are engaged and playing... but that's me and I have a lot of experience.

Hugs after your dreadful day. I hope next session little one is feeling more himself xx

[littlelollies]

He had been quite sick in the morning and full of a cold for weeks as it also happens he never went home early she was in the end 20 mins late!!

Think the way she spoke to me today was the straw that broke the camels back.... I haun also had other issues and have bent over backwards

[crazysally]

I feel so sorry for you. I have always been very fortunate with my parents and they have always made arrangements when i have needed then to come home early.

Sounds very worrying if this is out of character for baby, maybe was sickening for something.

Parent was clearly not listening to you and i think you need to have a chat with her about the implications this has on all of you not just her child. Also that parents are not called home on a whim.

If that doesn't work maybe you should turn up to her place of work with upset child.

You haven't failed at all.

[Goatgirl]

Hi ,
You have so not failed today. Mum and her emergency contacts have. They've all let you down badly by ignoring your requests for collection. It shows a total lack of respect at the very least.
How rude of Mum to then suggest you didn't feed a hungry baby ...sounds like a guilty conscience to me

I would be refusing to accept a child for childcare whose parents I could not trust to collect when I ask them to, or to listen to me when I express concerns for their child's well being. I think their blaming you for the whole episode bodes badly for any future relationship and I would now be very wary of false accusations being made.

In your shoes I would be giving myself a chance to calm down, then calling parents to go over the events of the day and explain that I am unhappy with the way I have been treated and feel I could not carry on minding without a full apology and reassurance that similar situation would not arise again.
I would reiterate that I had done nothing wrong at all today: Their child was distressed and inconsolable even though all his needs had been met and as this was out of character Mum was called. Mum made suggestions which did not work so I called Mum back as agreed but she would not answer her phone. This is totally unacceptable in itself. Emergency contacts then refused to collect the child, also unacceptable and I would need new ones. Then I would explain I have written the facts down and would need to have them sign that they agree with the events and agree their behaviour was unacceptable and would in future collect lo within x minutes when asked to do so.

Without this and a genuine apology I would not continue to care for the child.

I have had false accusations made against me: just in a personal letter as it happened and rather obviously to get out of hte contract without paying for the notice period, but it was very upsetting and I would now listen to any alarm bells and get out fast when I had any inkling parents were insinuating I had behaved in anything but an impeccable and proffessional manner regarding the care of their child.

This family has made a serious allegation against you today, please think very carefully before you give them the opportunity to do it again. I would wnat an unreserved GENUINE apology, duplicated in writing as well as all the above....

Really feel for you , hope they realise what they have done and come grovelling to you. Please don't let it get brushed under the carpet xxx Good luck, will be thinking of you .

[littlelollies]

Hi ,
You have so not failed today. Mum and her emergency contacts have. They've all let you down badly by ignoring your requests for collection. It shows a total lack of respect at the very least.
How rude of Mum to then suggest you didn't feed a hungry baby ...sounds like a guilty conscience to me

I would be refusing to accept a child for childcare whose parents I could not trust to collect when I ask them to, or to listen to me when I express concerns for their child's well being. I think their blaming you for the whole episode bodes badly for any future relationship and I would now be very wary of false accusations being made.

In your shoes I would be giving myself a chance to calm down, then calling parents to go over the events of the day and explain that I am unhappy with the way I have been treated and feel I could not carry on minding without a full apology and reassurance that similar situation would not arise again.
I would reiterate that I had done nothing wrong at all today: Their child was distressed and inconsolable even though all his needs had been met and as this was out of character Mum was called. Mum made suggestions which did not work so I called Mum back as agreed but she would not answer her phone. This is totally unacceptable in itself. Emergency contacts then refused to collect the child, also unacceptable and I would need new ones. Then I would explain I have written the facts down and would need to have them sign that they agree with the events and agree their behaviour was unacceptable and would in future collect lo within x minutes when asked to do so.

Without this and a genuine apology I would not continue to care for the child.

I have had false accusations made against me: just in a personal letter as it happened and rather obviously to get out of hte contract without paying for the notice period, but it was very upsetting and I would now listen to any alarm bells and get out fast when I had any inkling parents were insinuating I had behaved in anything but an impeccable and proffessional manner regarding the care of their child.

This family has made a serious allegation against you today, please think very carefully before you give them the opportunity to do it again. I would wnat an unreserved GENUINE apology, duplicated in writing as well as all the above....

Really feel for you , hope they realise what they have done and come grovelling to you. Please don't let it get brushed under the carpet xxx Good luck, will be thinking of you .

Thankyou I have now calmed down and then got a text off mom saying need an early start tomorrow see you at 6am....and now the blood boils again

This woman is impossible

[crazysally]

Maybe a reply back saying you don't need to start at 6am is needed.

Sounds like you have a difficult situation on your hands. There is no way i would start at 6am and i would not be shy in saying so. Feel so sorry for the child if they've not been great today as well.

I hope you find a way to resolve things with the parents.

Good Luck x

[newbie]

I think mum seems to think you are her employee!!!!. She needs reminding that you are very much your own boss and that she pays for a service that you provide as YOU see fit! If she doesn't like your service then she is more than welcome to give you notice as per the terms of your contract!

[mrs robbie williams]

omg she sounds like a nightmare !!!!!!!!! i would text back and say sorry but cant do early start tomorow so see you normal time,i would also say in future i need at least 24hr notice for change of hours and i will let youknow if i can accommodate them

as for not collecting/turning off phone/emergency contacts refusing to collect i would be calling mum in for a meeting at collection tomorow, explain that it is not on, you need to be able to contact and arrange collection, i would also say to mum that you will try settling lo for another two weeks but if lo still cannot settle you will be giving notice as it is unfair on everyone ie you, baby, other mindees.

I would definitely want an apology. Infact i may also be tempted to point out that i am not her employee i am providing a service,if her child cannot settle then the service isnt right for this particular child.

good luck - stick to your guns- dont give in - if you lose them there will be another family that will hopefully be nicer xx

[The Juggler]

ok, this mum needs to see that she cannot tell you how to work. As with Sarah I have more experience and would have persevered for the day but after a few weeks of it I'd be taking a view on that she is probably panicked that she is just back to work and then had to leave and how it will look at work - but that doesn't mean she can talk to you that way.

However, I would tell mum that you WILL not continue the contract if she and the emergency contacts are not available to speak to - they MUST be available - ask her what if something had happened to her baby and you were trying to contact her and no-one was answering.

Then tell her your contracted hours are xxxx and if she needs an early start she can ask but you may not always be able to accommodate her. Tell her you will DEFINATELY not start at 6pm but maybe xx will be ok and you would appreciate her not bringing her child early without telling you first. Remind her you are providing a service for which she is paying - she does not employ you. Ask her what she would do if her child was in nursery? Their doors would most certainly NOT be open early just for her.


be strong.
xx

[littlelollies]

Update... My door bell was ringing at 5.50am!!! No apology she just barged in when I opened the door I did however turn her away and told her to come back at 7.30 as I had said I wasn't working that early and she still turned up!! Grrr

So she came back at 7.30 baby has been much more settled this morning but very tired as you can imagine

Thankyou all for your advise my dairy milk hubby bought home last night was a big help too :-D

[The Juggler]

Update... My door bell was ringing at 5.50am!!! No apology she just barged in when I opened the door I did however turn her away and told her to come back at 7.30 as I had said I wasn't working that early and she still turned up!! Grrr

So she came back at 7.30 baby has been much more settled this morning but very tired as you can imagine

Thankyou all for your advise my dairy milk hubby bought home last night was a big help too :-D

well done for turning her away hon and how dare she turn up after you told her you wouldn't do it! that is beyond belief! glad baby is more settled today. Give him some time, sure things will settle down. mind you I think mum will be more of a challenge than the baby!

[littlelollies]

On a lighter note got graded a good today from ofsted yay

[VeggieSausage]

Blimey she sounds like a nightmare - 5.50am!!!! I would probably be an alcoholic working with that woman....hic...is it wine time yet? lol

[JCrakers]

Yes it is, I've already had one glass....hic.....

Finished at 5 tonight so a celebratory drink was in hand....literally

Well done for telling her to come back later...cheeky moo

[Rick]

On a lighter note got graded a good today from ofsted yay

Well done....stress over!

[The Juggler]

yeay on your ofsted !