Settling-in period

**AJU** · 14-03-2016, 09:25 AM

Hi,
I was just wondering how many hours some of you lovely CM's offer new parents? I have had some parents who need immediate starts so come and visit one day and the child start next day, so no settling in what so ever. Then I have another mum who wants 2-3 hours a day for 4 days, over 2 weeks, and include lunch and nap time. At the moment this is fine as I have no other daytime children on the days affected. In my procedures I am offering 4 hours settling in, over a 3 days. I just think you can settle a child in quickly or take a long time but in the end, once the child actually realise what is going on, there are still gonna be a few tears... BTW this is for 1 yo's

**moggy** · 14-03-2016, 01:19 PM

I do a short first session of 30mins when we read through their 'All About Me', sometimes with mum staying and then leaving for last 10-15 mins; then either another 30min or 1 hour session; and one further 1hour session if we feel we need it. No more than that or you are basically starting the contract early for free! or suggest they pay for settling in sessions- if they really want them they'll pay, if they are trying to get free CMing maybe they won't.
And you are right- settling or no settling in, doesn't make much difference for some children... but it can be useful for me to get to see the child in small doses and for the parents to get used to it.

**JCrakers** · 14-03-2016, 01:25 PM

I offer 2x1hr settling in sessions for free. This is really just for parents peace of mind. I feel that these don't immensely help the child as a 1hr session cant really be compared to a full 10hr day. The real settling in starts on day 1 when they realise they are with me for the whole day. Then some children settle straight away and others don't.

If parents want any more then they are chargeable at normal fee

**bunyip** · 14-03-2016, 01:26 PM

I don't offer any settling sessions until all the paperwork is complete, the full contract is signed, and I have the first payment and/or deposit in the bank. This provides an incentive to the parents to get the paperwork done, as some will drag it out and keep you waiting otherwise.

It also means I avoid a problem some local CMs have had in the past. They ran settling in sessions without having taken any payment and deposit, only to find the child never started with them. I don't know if this happens a lot, but we found some parents will take advantage of a little free 'babysitting', disguised as settling-in, for an interview/shopping/appointment, then never take up the contract.

In at least one case, the mum used a settling session to attend an interview having deceived the CM into thinking she had a job to go to, hence the childcare enquiry. She had no job, failed the interview, so she didn't need the CM after all, and the CM was all the time turning away genuine offers of clients.

We've also had some mums who use settling-in sessions as if they we 'tasters', before deciding which CM/nursery etc to sign up with.

I offer 1-2 sessions of up to 2 hours each for settling-in, where the child is with me and the parents go away. Before that, I also offer a handful of 'stay and play' sessions where mum/dad stays here with the child. I've never had to limit these, as the parents tend not to take the 'p' as it's their time as much as mine. If I feel the child needs it, I offer additional unaccompanied visits for free. I'd rather invest the time to give an arrangement a better chance of working long-term, than worry about the lost earning potential.

If the parents requst additional sessions, which I don't think are strictly necessary, then I would charge for them. Oddly enough, this often changes mums' minds in a flash.

**bunyip** · 14-03-2016, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by JCrakers

I offer 2x1hr settling in sessions for free. This is really just for parents peace of mind. I feel that these don't immensely help the child as a 1hr session cant really be compared to a full 10hr day. The real settling in starts on day 1 when they realise they are with me for the whole day. Then some children settle straight away and others don't.

If parents want any more then they are chargeable at normal fee

JC is absolutely right.

Despite all the training that glorifies settling-in sessions as if they were a magic bullet (when really it's more a case of "what else could we try?") I firmly believe that the chief purpose is to 'settle' mummies' anxieties, ready for her first day back at work.

A jolly hour in a house full of new toys is one thing to a child. The realisation that 8 hours have passed and there's still no sign of mum is something else entirely.

**watford wizz** · 14-03-2016, 03:41 PM

I had never heard or thought of doing unpaid settling in before joining this forum, I use the first four weeks of signed contract to do any settling in, but have a months/weeks fees up front and deposit which they get back at end of contract provided all hours have been paid for. I tailor settling in to individual child/family but I'm paid for the contracted hours even if they choose not to use them all to start with.

**clareelizabeth1** · 14-03-2016, 04:29 PM

I offer the chance to do settling in but every parent has preferred to just jump in. To me it's easier to jump in and honestly children seem to cope with an amazing amount. The one child i did do settling in sessions took the longest to settle. It is all paid for in advance though and it is up to the parents how long the sessions are b

**loocyloo** · 14-03-2016, 06:32 PM

I do a session where mum ( or dad ) comes and we all play together. depending how that goes, mum may 'pop out to post a letter' for just 5/10 mins before then going home.

I then generally do another session where child stays for up to an hour on their own.

any more than that ( unless I think it necessary ) the parents pay for.

I don't arrange any settling in, until all paperwork signed and fees paid!

**natlou82** · 14-03-2016, 06:32 PM

I think it depends on the family tbh. I am currently offering settling in to a family who's LO starts in May. I've already done my 2 free sessions and now mum is paying for more. They have come in useful as Mum has had a couple of work commitments and the settling in sessions have worked nicely round it. I agree that the sessions are more for Mum than baby but I would like to hope that Mum may feel happier and more relaxed when she goes back to work. I know this approach isn't necessary for all so I tailor what I offer.