Facebook

[Mouse]

I think the mentality of Facebook is very different to that of a forum, which really surprises me.

Most people are pretty anonymous on a forum, having a user name rather than their own name. But most are still careful about what they say. I know if I post on here about a child or family I try to make it as difficult as possible for anyone to identify the child - I change their gender, age, time they've been with me etc, basically anything that isn't relevant to what I'm asking. To identify the child, you'd have to know who I am and know all the children I look after and their families. Even then I post queries about actual families in the green area to make it more secure. As I'm typing, I'm constantly thinking "will anyone know who I'm talking about?"

I'm sure I'm not the only one who does the same.

But when you get on Facebook, you find people talking quite openly, in their own name, in a very insecure environment. A group might be closed, but you really don't know who many of the other members are. And more & more I'm seeing where someone in a group copies a post and forwards it to a parent, another childminder or even Ofsted. I do find that dispicable, but you have to bear in mind that it does happen.

I find it strange that people can be so open on FB without considering the consequences.

[Mouse]

i am sorry to say this, but it really upsets me how quickly it can become like a crowd ganging up mentaliity.

For example someone last night had a thread on there about their son seeing the page and not liking some of the comments, the first few threads said thank you for info, and then it went off onto a dig at the op about why her son was even on there in the first place, and I felt really sorry for the op. That was not the point of the post. Then someone came on and started to complain about a swear word which kept appearing, and they were annoyed that they had had a thread removed for the same word a few days earlier and they felt unfair that other posts had not been removed for same reason in this particular thread. The actual person then complained that they felt Sarah was just like a ofsted inspector, one rule for one person and one rule for another with their own rule book.

.

I saw the beginning of that post, but didn't see it turn personal. I did wonder why it had been removed

I did feel sorry for the OP. I wasn't convinced a 13 yr old boy had got upset by posts on a childminding FB group, but I did see the point she was trying to make.

[Supernanny86]

i am sorry to say this, but it really upsets me how quickly it can become like a crowd ganging up mentaliity.

For example someone last night had a thread on there about their son seeing the page and not liking some of the comments, the first few threads said thank you for info, and then it went off onto a dig at the op about why her son was even on there in the first place, and I felt really sorry for the op. That was not the point of the post. Then someone came on and started to complain about a swear word which kept appearing, and they were annoyed that they had had a thread removed for the same word a few days earlier and they felt unfair that other posts had not been removed for same reason in this particular thread. The actual person then complained that they felt Sarah was just like a ofsted inspector, one rule for one person and one rule for another with their own rule book.

Bear in mind this must of been at about 10:30 last night. And at this point the thread had about 50 comments on it. I could not believe that the person complaining about the swear word thing, could not understand that the mods cannot be around every second of the day, and given it was that late on a saturday night of course some posts may not have been able to be removed yet. I was so angry when they slated sarah and compared her to Ofsted. Anyone who uses the forum or facebook clearly knows how much work and dedication Sarah puts into childminding and helping her fellow collegues, and their comment was so below the belt.

Just as i was about to report it I saw that another member had tagged Sarah to alert her to the post.

So in the space of a few hours a thread was started, it got unprofessional, and was then removed by Tina. This isnt the first time threads have started on the facebook group and got over 50 comments before they have to be removed due to the way people turn on others.

And it such as a shame because in lot of other respects the majority of posts are helpful and sharing, but once you have seen a few posts like last nights it really does make we weary of using the page.

This was the post I was referring too earlier!! It got a little nasty and don't see why people need to gang up on each other?!

[Supernanny86]

I was out with friends for dinner last night so I wasn't on the group although I did see the thread and reply very early on.

I know that Tina deleted it - now I think I know why and I am very thankful that she stepped in without wanting to upset or worry me

I spend hours and hours of my time writing free information for childminders. Not for personal profit - nothing to gain - just sharing information freely on my blogs and websites to benefit everyone.

I am wondering why I bother.

Perhaps if members feel like that about me then I should step down

Sarah please don't feel beaten, and you're not going anywhere!! I'm still on fb group but don't get involved and find this forum to be more helpful! I can't praise you enough for what you do. You've allowed me on here although I'm still a nanny but have given endless advice for when I am able to turn to childminding!!

We all appreciate the endless hours you give to us and totally realise you can't see every post before it turns nasty. It's certainly not a job that I could do that's for sure

[Simona]

I am going to ask a silly question now...does FB not have a code of conduct for those who use it?
also does a FB page or whoever the page belongs have authority to delete anything unpleasant?
those who post inappropriate comments should not be surprised then if they get deleted

[bunyip]

I was out with friends for dinner last night so I wasn't on the group although I did see the thread and reply very early on.

I know that Tina deleted it - now I think I know why and I am very thankful that she stepped in without wanting to upset or worry me

I spend hours and hours of my time writing free information for childminders. Not for personal profit - nothing to gain - just sharing information freely on my blogs and websites to benefit everyone.

I am wondering why I bother.

Perhaps if members feel like that about me then I should step down

Sarah, dear heart. Don't go.........................

You bother because you are a wonderful person.

(And gorgeous too. )

[Rick]

I am going to ask a silly question now...does FB not have a code of conduct for those who use it?
also does a FB page or whoever the page belongs have authority to delete anything unpleasant?
those who post inappropriate comments should not be surprised then if they get deleted

We have our own extensive rules pinned to the top of the group page which we implore people to read and follow. We say we will give people an explanation as to why posts have been deleted but we are busy people and it's not always possible.

[Rick]

Sarah, dear heart. Don't go.........................

You bother because you are a wonderful person.

(And gorgeous too. )

Charmer

[AgentTink]

The problem with these facebook groups is people do not like to be told what they have said is not accepted, Facebook breeds an environment of saying anything you want when you want without having to worry about others. This is demonstrated by a new group that was born a month ago, called Freedom of Speech Childminders. Whose tag line is "Freedom of speech - if you dont like a post, dont comment !".

I was only reading a news article the other day about how research shows that people who use facebook actually start feeling more depressed, even though people claim it brings you closer with friends and family and great to network on. The problem is it creates a gossipy enviroment with everyone judging others, and this is accepted as the norm.

[shortstuff]

I was out with friends for dinner last night so I wasn't on the group although I did see the thread and reply very early on.

I know that Tina deleted it - now I think I know why and I am very thankful that she stepped in without wanting to upset or worry me

I spend hours and hours of my time writing free information for childminders. Not for personal profit - nothing to gain - just sharing information freely on my blogs and websites to benefit everyone.

I am wondering why I bother.

Perhaps if members feel like that about me then I should step down

Dont you dare step down Sarah! Most of us rely on your wisdom and your dedication. I fully understand why you might be made to feel like that but remember those words were from one individual and they are very much in the minority!

[Samijanec]

I love the fb page but I don't post on there, I kinda go in and steal ideas

As I'm in Scotland most of the requests for help I can't help with but I do love looking at the photos and getting inspiration and ideas.
I haven't ever seen a nasty post on there, they must all happen when I'm not online.

Please don't even think about quitting Sarah, the group would be lost without you. xx

[Emra81]

I'm not on the facebook group so can't comment on that BUT I had to reply to this thread and say Sarah, I know it's easier said than done but please don't take negative comments from the minority to heart. The work you do is invaluable to soooo many of us and, although you don't do it for the thanks, it's probably fair to say that we don't say it enough. It's also often the case that we hear the negative comments far louder than the positive ones as that's just human nature, especially human's who genuinely want to do their best for others and help in any way they can! At the end of the day, you can't please everyone but I hope no one minds if I speak for the hundreds, if not thousands, of us who think you are incredible at what you do, appreciate the help you give us all immensely and really don't want to think about what the childminding community would be like without you and all the other people who beaver away in the background alongside you on our behalf. Basically, thank you!

[Rick]

I'm not on the facebook group so can't comment on that BUT I had to reply to this thread and say Sarah, I know it's easier said than done but please don't take negative comments from the minority to heart. The work you do is invaluable to soooo many of us and, although you don't do it for the thanks, it's probably fair to say that we don't say it enough. It's also often the case that we hear the negative comments far louder than the positive ones as that's just human nature, especially human's who genuinely want to do their best for others and help in any way they can! At the end of the day, you can't please everyone but I hope no one minds if I speak for the hundreds, if not thousands, of us who think you are incredible at what you do, appreciate the help you give us all immensely and really don't want to think about what the childminding community would be like without you and all the other people who beaver away in the background alongside you on our behalf. Basically, thank you!

You speak a lot of sense......please come and join our FB group

[jadavi]

I 'liked' both forum pages that come up when I tap in childminders into fb search but I don't get posts,
Which fb group are you talking about? What's its name?

[Rick]

I 'liked' both forum pages that come up when I tap in childminders into fb search but I don't get posts,
Which fb group are you talking about? What's its name?

Independent Childminders

[Allie]

I didn't see last nights posts as past my bed time but have to say the forum and Sarah in particular have really helped me with all the changes to eyfs and the support on here is fantastic

[PixiePetal]

I did see the post but didn't comment as I had nothing constructive to say.

I agree that people need to be aware that FB posts could be seen indirectly by people and we need to be adult about our posts and remember this. We all have different opinions on all sorts of subjects - think before you post. Posting something that may cause offence is quite different from having a different opinion on a toy/best practice.

Like Mouse, on here I even post in green area without letting on too much info - only what is needed. People don't need to know all my business so I keep some to myself!

Sarah and other mods, keep up the good work. You are very much appreciated x

[Bridey]

I must admit I left the group after only a few days because of the way some of the members were talking about their parents and mindees and because of some of the replies to these threads. I just couldn't have my actual name associated with people who had such little respect for the people they work with and for. I know these people are few and far between but it was just too much for me and I felt uncomfortable. That is just my personal feeling - there are 3,000 happy members on it still I believe!

[Rick]

I must admit I left the group after only a few days because of the way some of the members were talking about their parents and mindees and because of some of the replies to these threads. I just couldn't have my actual name associated with people who had such little respect for the people they work with and for. I know these people are few and far between but it was just too much for me and I felt uncomfortable. That is just my personal feeling - there are 3,000 happy members on it still I believe!

3178 to be precise

That's ok if you prefer not to be on the FB group, you can contribute on the forum which we are all still passionate about

[sarah707]

I must admit I left the group after only a few days because of the way some of the members were talking about their parents and mindees and because of some of the replies to these threads. I just couldn't have my actual name associated with people who had such little respect for the people they work with and for. I know these people are few and far between but it was just too much for me and I felt uncomfortable. That is just my personal feeling - there are 3,000 happy members on it still I believe!

The first few days were a bit dodgy - we set it up - we watched and saw how it was going - we put very strict boundaries in place - we brought more moderators on board - we are very proactive now.

Trouble is there is a fine line between getting it right and over moderating.

We are bashed for removing too may posts - we are bashed for letting things run their course - we are bashed for other people giving wrong advice - we are bashed for responding to member complaints by deleting things - we are bashed for not being there all day!

Why people can't just skim past things they don't like and focus on the positives of the group is beyond me.

We honestly can't win