Am I being grumpy or are my mindee's parents being odd??

[juslh]

Basically I get a bit irritated with the parents of one of my mindees asking strange random things of me. None of them are huge issues on their own but I am starting to feel a bit....uncomfortable I think. To date:
- On one of my non working days phoning at tea time and asking if they could pop over and leave X with me for an hour since they needed to take her brother to the dentist
- Texting one Sunday to say X has a fancy dress party, could she borrow an outfit
- Turning up to collect an hour early one day unannounced. When I said she hadnt eaten yet mum said not to worry, she'd take it with her (cue take away roast beef and veg!)
- Phoning to ask me to print out something dad needed for school the next day because he had forgotten to do it at work. I think I feel a bit on-call.
Am I being a grump or are they a bit odd??

[Tatjana]

I wouldn't call it odd, I would call it taking the ****

Fair enough if you have that kind of relationship with parents, but it doesn't sound like you do.....maybe they think you do??!

Depending on my relationship with individual parents depends on how much I would be willing to do outside my actual childminging role.

As you aren't happy with the situation, you need to start saying "NO", or just ignoring texts etc.

[buzzy bee]

I think they're being unreasonable! I'd ignore their calls and if it's urgent they'll leave a message and you can choose whether or not to respond!! And you've just washed all your fancy dress outfits unfortunately and your printer has broken

[kellib]

that's what I call taking the p!

You aren't at their beck and call so don't let them take advantage of you!

[juslh]

Thanks folks, glad its not me being mean, didnt think it was but wanted to check; just need to sort out a tactful reply to these random requests now!

[LauraS]

If you haven't got a 'I'm not a fancy dress shop, takeaway or printing shop' policy you've probably brought it on yourself

Seriously though, how odd!

[flowerpots]

The tactful reply you are looking for is NO!

[Mouse]

It all seems a bit odd, but some parents do seem to think you're best pals & will do anything for them!

I used to have one family who would phone me up in the morning to say mindees were supposed to be in fancy dress that day & did I have something they could borrow. With them I really didn't mind. They were a lovely family and would help me out when needed (they collected my own children from school one day when I had to go to a funeral). They were totally scatty and disorganised, but never assumed I would do it. And they were always very grateful. They did buy fancy dress costumes over the years & mum recently passed them all on to me.


I think with your family I would just keep saying no. Hopefully they'd soon get the message.

[sarah707]

I'd send them home with tea if it was already cooked... apart from that I think you need to stand in front of the mirror and practice saying 'no' with a smile and a rueful shake of the head

[primula]

Is it possible the the boundaries between work and friends have got a bit foggy? This happen to childminder friend of mine, she got to know a lot about the mum and then mum felt it was more a friendship and would ask for favours that friend didnt refuse, got a bit messy.

[glitzygal]

that is taking the P...s

you must say no, or send a newsletter out to all parents about not talking childminding between these hours, and you choose the times,,,, you can reply to a genuin enquiry if you want to,,,

we all have thse parents......

[gegele]

the dressing up outfit i could understand........ the appointment during working day but during a day off NO WAY!!! as for the printing, i'm not going to even bother say anything about it!!! shoking!!

i think you really need to put your foot down before they send kids with his washing ah ah ah ah

[Ripeberry]

They are having a larff? Just keep saying no or something is broken. They will soon get the message

[Roseolivia]

Basically I get a bit irritated with the parents of one of my mindees asking strange random things of me. None of them are huge issues on their own but I am starting to feel a bit....uncomfortable I think. To date:
- On one of my non working days phoning at tea time and asking if they could pop over and leave X with me for an hour since they needed to take her brother to the dentist Big fat no
- Texting one Sunday to say X has a fancy dress party, could she borrow an outfitThis wouldn't bother me
- Turning up to collect an hour early one day unannounced. When I said she hadnt eaten yet mum said not to worry, she'd take it with her (cue take away roast beef and veg!)All my parents know we have tea at 4 so not to come before 4.30, if they do child doesn't have tea with me.
- Phoning to ask me to print out something dad needed for school the next day because he had forgotten to do it at work. Rather cheeky i think I think I feel a bit on-call.
Am I being a grump or are they a bit odd??

Like other people have said it depends on the relationship you have with them but they are your clients not friends. Think they're probably not very organised by the sounds of it.

[miffy]

They're not odd just downright cheeky!

The only thing there I'd consider is loaning a fancy dress outfit which I've done many times.

I agree with the others you need to say no and mean it!

Miffy xx

[blue bear]

I take it you've said yes to the requests? This will encourage them to feel it's ok to ask favours, say no if you don't feel comfortable with something they won't get tge message any other way.

[snufflepuff]

I have a similar parent myself, always getting requests from her! Although the problem is, she usually puts me on the spot and asks me face to face and in a way that makes it very hard to say no! She once asked me if I could collect her and mindee from home in the mornings and take Mum to work, then collect her from work and drop them both home at the end of the day....when I said no I wouldn't be able to do that she asked why not?! I explained about having another mindee to work around etc ....so she tried to come up with solutions such as telling the other mindees Mum to drop off early or late!!!

[Gherkin]

Sorry your post has made me If they were family friends I wouldn't have thought anything of it but it seems they are not and they sound to me like they are taking the P out of you. If you give an inch they will take a mile!

[mindingmummy]

I have a similar parent myself, always getting requests from her! Although the problem is, she usually puts me on the spot and asks me face to face and in a way that makes it very hard to say no! She once asked me if I could collect her and mindee from home in the mornings and take Mum to work, then collect her from work and drop them both home at the end of the day....when I said no I wouldn't be able to do that she asked why not?! I explained about having another mindee to work around etc ....so she tried to come up with solutions such as telling the other mindees Mum to drop off early or late!!!

[MAWI]

Classics example of give them an inch and they will take a mile.

The fancy dress thing I don't see as a problem because I presume as a childminder you would have lots of resources.

Boundaries need to be reinforced, lol.

I'm sure once you've said NO once you will find it easier.

P.s No your not a grump And they're not odd. You need to say NO and tHen they will hopefully stop taking the ***s