Child who doesnt want to play

[kel1983]

We mind a 2.5 year who has no idea how to play. He gets to us about 9am 4 days a week. As soon as he gets here he has a pile of book out of the box and is wanting us to read it to him. Now we dont mind reading to him, We think its good he takes an interest in reading but he wants us to read to him all the time (not good for our throats). We try and get him to play with the toys but only likes to play when one of us is sitting on the floor with him which is not possible for us to do all day.

How can we encourage him to play more and bit more independently? We have tried asking him what he wants to play with, tried buying new toys to make it more interesting and only had a few toys out a time. He even brings toys from home but once he gets here they get pushed to the side and not touched again until hometime.

His mum ensures us that at home he is happy to go off and play in his room by himself.

As i'm typing he is lying on the floor with a book and we have a room full of toys

[QualityCare]

It sounds to me that he craves attention to be played with and shown that toys and playing are fun, its quite worrying that mum says he is "quite happy to go off and play in his room by himself" he's 2 and should be in mums company at home being played with not shut away alone. I would continue to play with him, read him a story and then suggest you play together for a while and then another story gradually over a few days wean him off you playing with him all the time, get up and tell him to continue playing whilst you do such and such only a few minutes away at first, and then you'll be back to play, he should hopefully overtime realise that you will not leave him alone.

[JCrakers]

It sounds to me that he craves attention to be played with and shown that toys and playing are fun, its quite worrying that mum says he is "quite happy to go off and play in his room by himself" he's 2 and should be in mums company at home being played with not shut away alone. I would continue to play with him, read him a story and then suggest you play together for a while and then another story gradually over a few days wean him off you playing with him all the time, get up and tell him to continue playing whilst you do such and such only a few minutes away at first, and then you'll be back to play, he should hopefully overtime realise that you will not leave him alone.

I second this...good advice. My dd is 9yrs old and only just started going to her room to play alone. Shes liking the privacy that comes with it and likes to have her door closed.
At 2.5 he still needs to be with the support of an adult, showing him and encouraging him, not in his room alone.
Maybe he just loves books, maybe he doesnt know how to play, maybe toys just dont interest him. I would continue to encourage him and then reward him with another book after hes played for a few minutes and then extend it to longer

[francinejayne]

Could you re-enact a scene out of one of his favourite books? e.g. - get the Gruffalo puppets, build a deep dark wood out of building blocks, play out the story on the floor with the puppets, talking for them - NOT reading from the book! This will maybe show him how to play, gradually you could introduce more role play props and the story could change - e.g., the Gruffalo found a castle (that you make together out of a box) and set up a home with the mouse etc...

This might enable him to relate to the play using the stories that he knows, and give him the ability to change the story that he already knows.

It will involve you playing with him, but maybe if it captures his interest he might carry on playing and extending his play all by himself?

[VINASOL]

When I started minding (my very first mindee) a child of 3, all she wanted to do was to play with a doll/pram and I mean all the time. Nothing could persuade her otherwise...eventually (and I'm sorry if you think that I've done wrong), but I took the pram and doll away and told her that the pram had broken and had been sent out to be fixed, and the dolly was poorly and seeing the dolly doctor so she would have to play something else....and it worked ...eventually I brought the dolly back and said that she was still a bit poorly and could only come out to play for an hour a day!!

Mindee learnt to do so many other things, it was great

Could you do something like that? What would happen if the books weren't there one day -- you could do it that the books disappear for an hour or two or morning etc...would mindee notice straight away? Obviously if they became too upset you could bring them back but just an idea!

[LChurch]

It is so hard, I have recently had a mindee who would only sit on the sofa and not play with anything or be animated in anyway, I then put some music on and he took an interest in the music, since then he has ventured off the sofa and has started to play with the toys.

[samb]

I would do a mix of suggestions - definitely use his love for books as a positive thing - maybe get him to choose a book of the day and the rest of the books go away and use that book to create different play opporunities (or choose your own if you prefer to plan more). look at pictures together and ask what he likes about them and see if you can find anything in your home the same/similar. Incorporate them into other toys and maybe craft or song too? Or even gear snack time around the same type of thing - colour, shape etc

I wouldn't take books away completely - maybe he could help you make some books with pictures? Maybe you could together make a photo album of things he likes at your house or even his house and take his interests from there.

Try moving away for a short amount of time or tell him you need to make a drink etc and come back when you say so that he learns that it is ok to be playing without you for a while?

[fluff1975]

Maybe pick a book he likes and make a simple story sack that he takes home and uses there, with a parent! Stick a book in and ask them to comment on his reaction and responses to the resources. Hopefully he'll get the idea that there is life outside books! The meanie in me says don't put any books out and see what he does!

[Maza]

He sounds a bit like my DD, 3. She's fine at home, but whenever we go to playgroup all she wants to do is get me to read stories to her. Again, it's great that she is so interested in books and I'm happy to do it for a while, but I would like to have a 'brief' chat with the other mums and minders! If I ask her what she would like to play with she will play with something for maybe 30 seconds and then either bring it over to me to play or get another book for me to read. In our case, it's the fact that she's on different territory and she needs the security of me there, because as I say she can entertain herself at home. I think your little one may appear settled but he still needs the reassurance and one to one attention to comfort him. Excellent suggestions already regarding activities based on books. My DD also likes it when we take all the books off the shelf and clean the shelves!

[kel1983]

Thank you everyone for your ideas. Gonna try some of your suggestions out.