Jealouse people

[fiona]

hello all, hope you are all well, i am struggling to keep a positive out look at the min, i live in a area with lots of childminders in and there is plenty of work, however another childminder is constantly telling parents not to use me! all my parents are very happy and keep telling me that it will all come out in the wash, however i dont feel like i can keep bouncing back, its been 4yrs now!

sorry i sound very emotional. self pitty over !!

[RainbowMum]

Do you have a local authority development worker? If so I would ask them for advice and support - our job is hard enough without having to fend of bitterness and jealousy from other minders

[fiona]

i do yes, however she was the one who first told me about it, the problem is they all started at the same time and are a little click, so i am the new one!!

[MAWI]

Feel so sorry for you. I know how you feel, I moved into the area and for some reason some CM do not like new kids on the block, pretty pathetic really.
From my experience it does get better with time. I Felt awkward for about a year or so, but my way of dealing with it was to get on with caring for my children, hold my head up high and continue with my professional development, NVQ, accreditation, currently doing. I learnt to not give them a second thought and 5 years later, we're not friends by any stretch of the imagination but we are all friendly enough towards each other.
I can understand that her nose may be put out but to be that nasty is just not on. It's people like that that give our profession a bad name. Why would she tell parents to stay away?

Is it just the one childminder? if so, could you maybe have a chat with any others that you know?
Could you possible have a chat with her?

Not sure what to advise apart from the development Officer.

Big Hugs

[fiona]

When i first started her exact words were "your my biggest competition" i was a little shocked, we have been very lucky due to my last job (armed forces) to be able to afford lots of work on our home to accomodate the job, and she didnt like this.

i have been told she is obsessed with me!! (i am to busy to worry about others ) i am on a course soon, which i normally avoid locally, so i am hoping to be able to talk to people there, i am normally so confident, however this year it has just hit me harder!

Sorry to go on, must be over tired and emmotional!

[Roseolivia]

Don't let this other minder make you not enjoy your job. Like others have said hold your head up high. Start going to playgroups or where other minders hang out (if you don't already), it'll take time to get to know others but you'll be ok. I always try to be really friendly with new minders who come along to our group as i remember what it was like walking into somewhere new when i started.

[Misty Wood]

I am a new minder in my area too and totally understand where you are coming from. Some people can be so childish and jealous. I know it is hard but always put on a smile and do your best at looking after your childrean. If parents are happy then you must be doing a great job.

[jelly15]

If you have someone who has heard this woman directly say not to use you and is willing to back you I would send a solicitors letter. She is potentcially harming your business and she needs to be put straight.

[Bluebell]

I agree Jelly - this sort of behaviour is petty and unprofessional - All the childminders I know have been so supportive since I started - it must be horrible to have someone like this. If she is so good and has such a good reputation why is she so worried??!
Making negative comments to potential parents is not only affecting your business but you - not wanting to go to courses for example because you feel intimidated by her. Good luck with this and I hope she sees sense.

[blue bear]

Why are you her biggest competition? I take it that's a compliment to how good you are?
It's a real shame she is behaving like this, in my experience childminders are colleagues and look out for each other. Hopefully people won't want to go to someone who behaves unprofessionally and bad mouths other minders.

Have you tried talking to her and asking why she says these things? Maybe suggest having each others numbers to pass on any enquiries either of you can't accomodate so you are offering a branch if friendship as it were?

[fiona]

thanks for all your advice ladies, i ahve offered the olive branch and even sent work her way! i am going to do a childminding group this week that i know she often attends. i aim to build a bridge if it kills me!!

[VINASOL]

thanks for all your advice ladies, i ahve offered the olive branch and even sent work her way! i am going to do a childminding group this week that i know she often attends. i aim to build a bridge if it kills me!!

good for you...