clingy baby - any tips?

[JMcG]

Hi guys, I'm just looking for some advice.

I currently look after two very laid back happy babies (one is mine - so I'll take credit for her!)... I've started looking after a third little one, one day a week. He is really gorgeous and fun and I've know the family quite well so I'd love to make it work and take him on full time when the time comes. The only issue I have is that he is extremely clingy. If I dare to stand up and he even thinks I'm about to leave the room he starts squeeling and chasing after me. He then wont stop until I pick him up and even then still cries a for a minute or so. He's one so it might just be a phase.

I guess I'm just trying to figure out if its the new surrounding and that he will eventually settle down. He's always really happy and plays really well as long as I'm in the room. Also do you think I should always pick him up and reassure him? It seem like the right thing to do. Especially as he has only done a few days with me. But it does make things difficult sometimes. Or should I let him cry a little as long as I am telling him its ok and keep explaining what I am doing and that Ill come give him a cuddle in a moment?


What do you think? Also how much do I say to the parents? I've mentioned that he is clingy but reassured them that its ok because we get to have lots of cuddles. I dont want them to worry to much, cos they're a bit like that anyway.

Oh this is quite difficult. I really want it to work out.

[JMcG]

by the way when I say leave the room I literally mean walk along the little hall to the kitchen where I am still visable to the little ones the whole time! Its not far or like he cant see me. Luckily our flat lay out work really well for childminding!

[*daisychain*]

Aww bless him. I have a LO the same , lots of cuddles, use my baby carrier/sling so she has no need to cry. I don't do letting them cry, as I see it, if anyone else I knew was upset then I would comfort them and try my best to make them feel better, no different just because they are babies.I'm sure he will settle when he feels secure

[Helen79]

He's always really happy and plays really well as long as I'm in the room. Also do you think I should always pick him up and reassure him? It seem like the right thing to do.

If it feels like the right thing to do then it probably is. Maybe take him to the kitchen with you for a few days, he'll see where you're going and that you're not just leaving him forever. Once he's more confident then he might start to explore and follow you around more.

[kittymo]

I think that while for some children clinginess is a phase and will fade over time as they grow ever more confident, with others it can linger till school age. Then when they have to be left it can be a real problem, and distressing for both parent and child... I see it every year in September. However, for your 1 year old that is a long way off. I would say that lots of cuddles is the way to go for now, and a carrier may help at times. It may be that mum picks up and carries baby a lot, and so baby expects this and is worried when it doesn't happen, this may change over time as the baby gets used to you and starts to develop a trusting relationship with you. Most often children behave differently with mum and dad than they do with childminders or school teachers.

[TooEarlyForGin?]

I have a little one like this, but I can't use a carrier as my back is bad enough as it is. If I have to walk away then I keep talking loudly and don't overcompensate, if she cries, when I go back into the room, I sit next to her and start playing with the other children and herself, and she is starting to get used to the fact that she doesn't automatically get picked up each time she cries, I smile lots and keep talking normally, praising her when she is happy and playing, she then usually starts playing as normal. If I am cooking dinner or doing something when I can't have her in my arms I use the high chair or the buggy, where she is more secure.

[dette]

I encourage them to follow me if thats what they want.They usually find im back in the room before they are half way to the kitchen so they turn round and come back.After a while they work out that im only gonna be a few seconds(usually puttin a nappy in the bin or kettle on--YOU KNOW HOW US CHILDMINDERS JUST SIT AND DRINK COFFEE )so they stop following me.
I have more trouble with a 4 year old who can stand it when im out of her sight just incase im paying more attention to someone else than her..driving me mad !!!

[JMcG]

Thanks ladies - he seemed much better this week! Didn't cry as much and even stayed in the living room a couple of times while I popped into the kitchen... but then again maybe he just didn't notice I'd gone! lol!