yeah for Corrie!! Positive reinforcement!

[onceinabluemoon]

Sorry but I'm going to be a little controversial. I disagree that soap operas etc have a duty to promote healthy living/breast feeding etc. I think we get all that thrust down our throats all the time from health professionals, gym instructors, doctors, midwives etc. TV should surely be for enjoyment/winding down if that is how you choose to enjoy yourself.

Personally I don't use TV for entertainment much and certainly am not weak enough to be swayed in a decision by something I had seen on TV. After all you see people going out battering old ladies in cop shows but that doesn't encourage you to do it does it?

[Playmate]

Sorry but I'm going to be a little controversial. I disagree that soap operas etc have a duty to promote healthy living/breast feeding etc. I think we get all that thrust down our throats all the time from health professionals, gym instructors, doctors, midwives etc. TV should surely be for enjoyment/winding down if that is how you choose to enjoy yourself.

Personally I don't use TV for entertainment much and certainly am not weak enough to be swayed in a decision by something I had seen on TV. After all you see people going out battering old ladies in cop shows but that doesn't encourage you to do it does it?

I so agree OBM

As an Ex health professional who bottle fed all 3 of her very healthy intellegent children I still feel very irritated that I have to justify my decission, which was right for me in the given circumstances. The information is out there in abundance already and what ever the age of the mother they make an informed decision.

[uf353432]

I so agree OBM

As an Ex health professional who bottle fed all 3 of her very healthy intellegent children I still feel very irritated that I have to justify my decission, which was right for me in the given circumstances. The information is out there in abundance already and what ever the age of the mother they make an informed decision.

But who is asking you to justify your feeding decision on this occasion? This is what I don't get - when I see threads like this on any forum I don't automatically think - right I now need to tell anyone how I fed my children, for how long and assure people of their mental and health capabilities as children regardless of the choice I made, that I am still a fab mother regardless of my feeding choice. But so far 3 different people have felt the need to justify why they didn't BF their children - but thats not the point.

Historically soap opera's and the like have been used to raise awareness to the masses, in a language the masses understand and can relate to. They cover minor and monumental issue's to incite discussion in the media and communities - and whilst BF information may be in abundance for certain sectors of our community - its delivered in such a way that people feel preached at or judged. Normalising BF in the media could be considered as a gentle way for people to get the facts - but at its basic form it just shows that people do BF, and that its not weird and doesn't have to be a big thing. A BF mother could sit alongside a Bottle feeding mother and how they feed their child should never be an issue.

There is still a massive stigma in this country about BF - in part because the government promote it through their agencies in such a preachy way that people are immediately defensive (rightly so) if they 'opt out'. Also in part because women who do BF are seen as hippy nature loving weirdo women and because there have been very few positive bf role models in the media, on telly or in films.

I have no idea why we have made this such an emotive and taboo subject. Its crazy!

[barbarella68]

Well I think you are wrong. There is no stigma about breast feeding it is the other way round.As a Mum who breast fed her son I see lots of comments about Breast is best blah blah blah , but if a mother states she actually formula fed her child the breast feeding brigade are down her throat as soon as she opens who mouth. To be honest does it really matter as long as child is loved and cared for. I know plenty of women who breast feed and their children have all sorts wrong with the child from eczema to asthma so who is to say what is right or wrong.

[EmmaReed84]

I bottle fed both my babies for two totally different reasons and I am still made to feel guilty today about that decision, even today!

1st time I had developed pre-eclampsia, had a horrific, stressful labour and delivery. After about an hour the midwife said Baby needed feeding. I tried to get him to latch on even through I was shattered and baby was distressed. MW kepts pulling me about, pinching boob, making me change position and making comments like "Come on Emma, you can do it" "Get him to latch on then" "it is better for baby to breast feed" really made me feel so upset, and useless. In the end I broke down and just shouted at her to give him a bottle, he STILL tried to move me about saying "Come on, you can do it Emma, it's not that hard. You are making this hard by stressing" In the end my Mum blasted her and told her to get a bottle and leave me alone as she causing both me and baby to be stressed... My son took the bottle straight away and was calm and happy. He is now 6 and I can count on one hand the amount of times he has been ill.

2nd time round I was so traumatised by my first experience I point blank refused to even try, I felt immense pressure and anxiety that I would be pushed again I felt the need to repeat myself... Thankfully the MW were sooo lovely.

I regret that I didnt try the 2nd time but people making comments and making you feel like a failure because you DIDN'T/COULDN'T breastfeed can have a lasting effect.

I think a 50/50 balance in soaps is a good idea... If done casually and not to make a point. The whole point should be a baby is fed full stop, noT HOW!

[uf353432]

Well I think you are wrong. There is no stigma about breast feeding it is the other way round.As a Mum who breast fed her son I see lots of comments about Breast is best blah blah blah , but if a mother states she actually formula fed her child the breast feeding brigade are down her throat as soon as she opens who mouth. To be honest does it really matter as long as child is loved and cared for. I know plenty of women who breast feed and their children have all sorts wrong with the child from eczema to asthma so who is to say what is right or wrong.

did I not say that women are made to feel guilty if they opt out of bf? i'm sure I did - because I see that all too clearly. But that doesn't mean I am 'wrong' just because you haven't experienced something doesn't mean its not true.

[barbarella68]

I actually said "I think" you are wrong which is my opinion.Obviously you have yours but I never heard/seen/read FF Mums ever say to BF mums what you are doing is not right and you should FF but I do the other way round and I am sure that others will tell you that too.

[uf353432]

I actually said "I think" you are wrong which is my opinion.Obviously you have yours but I never heard/seen/read FF Mums ever say to BF mums what you are doing is not right and you should FF but I do the other way round and I am sure that others will tell you that too.

I agree its unlikely that a FF would tell a BF mum to FF - but I could imagine a scenario where BF mum is really struggling and FF mum suggests kindly if her friend should give the child a bottle, because they think it would help. I also have heard of many BF women complain that husbands, parents, friends etc are not supportive of their BF and encourage them to give the child a bottle. Helpful comments like - you look exhausted dear, why don't you give the baby some formula so daddy can help with the feeds. Or.... the child is not gaining enough weight? well maybe introduce a formula feed so it fills their tummy then. Or.......is that baby still not sleeping through the night? perhaps a formula feed should be introduced. or......you say the baby is constantly hungry? well its no wonder dear - you need to give that child formula - that will fill him up. or.....what you are STILL bf? but surely you should have moved onto formula then.

Equally though yes I absolutely have heard BF mothers speak to FF mothers, judgementally and making assumptions that they didn't try, didn't want to, are too selfish and its wrong wrong wrong. By the same token i've also heard BF mothers offer to support new mothers with bf if 'they' want to.

I hope you are not under the misguided view that I carry the baton for a particular feeding type - you don't actually know how I fed my children, because I think its irrelevant. I carry the baton for choice and as a childminder I support 'mothers' regardless of their feeding choice and I understand and appreciate the issues from both side of the feeding debate. At no point have I felt that someone else was wrong, I value everyones contribution to a polite debate.

[barbarella68]

I am under no view what so ever misguided or otherwise, and you are quite right I do not know how you fed your children and to be honest it is not my business or anyone else's. I just am tired of people(mostly Bf mum's) assuming that because I breastfed(did it for a while-hated it) I think it is the best choice, well I don't the best choice is what is right for the mother and child and I wish that people would stop ganging up on people that don't breastfeed.Who cares as long as Mum and Baby are healthy and happy.

[~Chelle~]

As long as babies are healthy and well looked after, it is nobody's business how you feed your child.

Sadly this is one of those debates that only causes bad feeling as everyone thinks that they are right and in a way they are right, because the decision on how they feed their baby is their decision and they should be respected for that.

Moving on.........

[Mel_Johnson]

Wow this is a really charged subject. I am a breastfeeding peer supporter in my local area and attend a group who offer support to Mum who want to try and breastfed. It can be very difficult for some Mum's to get the hang of breastfeeding and the pressure that is unintentionaly put on them by friends and families opionions can make them end up making a decision that they are not happy with and can feel very guilty afterwards about their choices.

I am personally pro choice and think that parents should be allowed to make that choice freely and get the support they need to fulfil it. I do know some of my fellow peer supporters can be very preachy about breastfeeding and are too full on which does help anyone

[uf353432]

I'm a BF peer support worker as well it is very rewarding and agree that some support workers are a bit too hard core in their attitude which is a huge shame as their attitude does nothing to promote a positive experience for anyone.

The problem with the feeding debate is it is a highly emotive one for most mothers. From birth feeding and love is linked - this is felt by both feeding methods as its when most of the bonding takes place especially in the early days. The rush of hormones as the baby feeds and the attachment you feel in that given moment is the same. Not many mothers feel detached from their babies when they feed them regardless of the method. So because of this people do feel like they are being attacked. Using a 'breast is best' strapline makes those who don't bf 2nd best - breast may not necessarily be best for them, and in some cases it could be highly detrimental. Unfortunately there are a great number of BF mothers who wear their 'I bf my children' as a badge of honour - so I really feel for any mother who made a choice that was right for them and their baby, and was made to feel in anyway that it was a bad choice to make.

Sadly I don't think that its something that will go away - we are mammals at times ruled by our emotions - so its always going to hurt mummies everywhere until society as a whole stops being so darn judgemental.