A good old rant needed

[JCrakers]

Morning

Need a good moan this morning

I get really fed up with this job sometimes...I love it and I always strive to be the best. I feel i offer the 13 children I look after the best care anyone could ever give.
To me childminding is not about 'staying at home with my children' as I actually have less time for my own two kids and its not 'babysitting'. Its not something I do because I cant get a 'normal job'
I do it because I love workng with children and I want to offer a lovely safe, homely environment for them as I feel it is better for children rather than being stuck in a nursery all day.

Im fed up with comments I get from Mums constantly and who are surprised when I tell them what I actually do..I am fed up with taking on children who have been in a nursery, who hated it and now the parents have decided to use a childminder and they are so surprised when the children actually love it here. Comment about ' Oh she does a lot of things here doesn't she!!'...Er....YES.
I am fed up with enquiries about picking up children from school because their child has been in a nursery for 4yrs and now they have no one to pick up from school. Im fed up with listening to Mums at toddler group talking about how their little one hasnt really settled into nursery. Or listening to Mums who are going back to work and sorting out which nursery to go to.....have you even given a thought to having a childminder?

But what I am most fed up with is going to toddler group and seeing all the old childminders who have been doing it for 20+ yrs who just sit and chat and drink coffee while their kids are beating up some other kid and talk to their mindees like they are stupid.
It's no wonder that parents think I do nothing all day and go for a nursery straight away

Im so fed up of having to constantly explain myself that....YES...I am a qualified childcarer and I did go to college for 3 yrs, I do actually know what I am doing, I can handle three children at one time, The children do educational activities and have lots of fun and I dont just sit watching TV all day.
I do actually hope that one day we get the recognition that we actually deserve..its such hard work getting the message out.

Rant Over...

[rickysmiths]

Morning

Need a good moan this morning

I get really fed up with this job sometimes...I love it and I always strive to be the best. I feel i offer the 13 children I look after the best care anyone could ever give.
To me childminding is not about 'staying at home with my children' as I actually have less time for my own two kids and its not 'babysitting'. Its not something I do because I cant get a 'normal job'
I do it because I love workng with children and I want to offer a lovely safe, homely environment for them as I feel it is better for children rather than being stuck in a nursery all day.

Im fed up with comments I get from Mums constantly and who are surprised when I tell them what I actually do..I am fed up with taking on children who have been in a nursery, who hated it and now the parents have decided to use a childminder and they are so surprised when the children actually love it here. Comment about ' Oh she does a lot of things here doesn't she!!'...Er....YES.
I am fed up with enquiries about picking up children from school because their child has been in a nursery for 4yrs and now they have no one to pick up from school. Im fed up with listening to Mums at toddler group talking about how their little one hasnt really settled into nursery. Or listening to Mums who are going back to work and sorting out which nursery to go to.....have you even given a thought to having a childminder?

But what I am most fed up with is going to toddler group and seeing all the old childminders who have been doing it for 20+ yrs who just sit and chat and drink coffee while their kids are beating up some other kid and talk to their mindees like they are stupid.
It's no wonder that parents think I do nothing all day and go for a nursery straight away

Im so fed up of having to constantly explain myself that....YES...I am a qualified childcarer and I did go to college for 3 yrs, I do actually know what I am doing, I can handle three children at one time, The children do educational activities and have lots of fun and I dont just sit watching TV all day.
I do actually hope that one day we get the recognition that we actually deserve..its such hard work getting the message out.

Rant Over...

Now you see that is exactly why I became a childminder.

I wanted to be able to take my children to toddler groups and activities, be there to take and collect them from Playgroup, Nursery and school and I still take my son to school and collect him even though he is 17 and in 6th form.

The difference is I only took on one child for 4 hours every afternoon to begin with so I and my children could get used to the idea of having other children in our home and I could do all the things I wanted with my children in the mornings.

Unlike a lot of new childminders a lot of us 'oldies' did it this way, and did not expect to fill every vacancy at once and earn a the incomes expected now. I had no childcare training apart from that of having my own children and I provided high quality care for the children in my care from day one and still do, despite the 'lack' of formal training in this specific field. I am highly qualified in my professional field and had 22 years of work experience before I stopped to have my first dd when I was 38.

I have always ( for the last 17 years) done paperwork, attendance records, accident books, contracts, info sheets and long before EYFS was even dreamed of, I did scrap books with photos for all my children recording their activities and progress. I have always done training when I can and have an arch lever folder full of Certs from the last 17yrs. I have achieved Quality Standard Accreditation and have never had less than a Good Inspection and the last two with Outstandings. I still don't have an official Childcare Qualification to my name!!!

As my children got older I did a period of before and after school children only. I then took on more little ones and began to work more full time when my two were in full time school. It is only the last 7 years when I have built up to being always full with at least 3 under fives and usually 4 and some before and after school while my two have been in High school and been able to travel to and from school more independently sometimes.

My joy was, when after finishing her GCSE Exams my dd was sitting having lunch one day and said ' Mum I'm so glad you were at home when I was doing my exams. If you hadn't I would prob have gone out with friends because I wouldn't have wanted to be in the house alone and I wouldn't have got as much work done.' That made all the years of being at home and going without in the early days because my income was low, so worth while.

So does that make me a bad childminder, because I dared to want to stay home with my children and I wasn't a 'qualified' child carer?? I don't like it when other childminders keep saying so proudly that they didn't do it for this reason as if there were something wrong with it, they should no better!

Oh at the grand old age of 56 I am currently doing the new (an 'A' Level which I have 2and the equivalent of 3 more of anyway!!) Level 3 Diploma in childcare.

I am also prob one of the 'oldies' at toddler group you don't like. As with my own children, yes I sit and drink coffee and chat to the other childminders and the other mums, that's one of the reasons I go! I work on my own all day with children and I value the company of like minded adults sometimes. I watch the children in my care, I encourage them and help them to partake in any crafts on offer. However children benefit from independent play as well and they are as happy as can be. If they get into a scrap then I would sort them out of course but that rarely happens and they enjoy mixing with a larger number of children.

I'll get off my Soap Box now!

As for comments from parents about what we do and don't do and how wonderful Nurseries are. Well thats their choice and I had one last weekend visit. Wanted full time care until next July and then the child goes to school in Sept. She did ring me back and tell me they have decided to use a Nursery until April when they find out what school the child will go to. She said she would be back in touch about before and after school care because the Nursery doesn't do that Well she can try but she won't be offered a place with me and I suspect she will get the school opposite me as well!! Tough she wants it both ways well she will have to deal with the transition into school then. Another mum who came to see me about 4 days care was gobsmacked to bump into me at a toddler group this week, not had the manners to phone me back, child at a local Nursery a rubbish one as well! She said she wanted the child to be with more children than I had!!! I quietly reminded her that was why I brought the children to the toddler group!! She went bright red and mentioned before and after school care!! I very much believe in 'What goes round comes round' and these comments wash over me. They don't know the quality of care their child has missed out on!

[JCrakers]

I wasn't having a go at anyone who doesn't have any qualifications at all..far from it.
There are a lot of fantastic childminders who don't have any training. I'm just peed off with the comments I get.. It just makes me feel undervalued
Comments like' I bet you get lots of free time in the day if your at home all day'
Or ' are you going back to work once your own two are grown up'.
And the looks I get from people who come and talk to me at toddler group. When they ask me how old my dd is, I reply oh she's 3 but she's not mine. 'oh, you childmind do you?' ....end of conversation
When I used to be a nanny, I didn't get any comments like this and I felt a lot more better about myself that's all
Maybe I'm in the wrong job....

[Pipsqueak]

I wasn't having a go at anyone who doesn't have any qualifications at all..far from it.
There are a lot of fantastic childminders who don't have any training. I'm just peed off with the comments I get.. It just makes me feel undervalued
Comments like' I bet you get lots of free time in the day if your at home all day'
Or ' are you going back to work once your own two are grown up'.
And the looks I get from people who come and talk to me at toddler group. When they ask me how old my dd is, I reply oh she's 3 but she's not mine. 'oh, you childmind do you?' ....end of conversation
When I used to be a nanny, I didn't get any comments like this and I felt a lot more better about myself that's all
Maybe I'm in the wrong job....

No I get EXACTLY where you are coming from and i have been minding a decade or so now.... (why does that make me feel really old lol)

There are some old school minders round here that perhaps ought to be thinking about pastures new likewise there are some new minders round here who need a darned good shake. Like with anything/anyone you get the good the bad and the ugly though.

These are the reasons I became a support (buddy) minder and ran groups because I felt so passionatly about providing the on the ground support to new and experienced minders.

As to parents you still have to patiently explain that you aren't second rate care... (this is where I think NCMA needs to promote us better nationally, in the media and press etc)
you learn to live with it


keep doing the best YOU canxx

[The Juggler]

So does that make me a bad childminder, because I dared to want to stay home with my children and I wasn't a 'qualified' child carer?? I don't like it when other childminders keep saying so proudly that they didn't do it for this reason as if there were something wrong with it, they should no better!

no of course it doesn't. good childminders are out there, qualified to all levels and with different levels of experience. however, I DO NOT believe in a million years that you are one of those minders who totally ignores their mindees for 2 hours whilst at toddlers which I think is what OP was having a go at

[JCrakers]

no of course it doesn't. good childminders are out there, qualified to all levels and with different levels of experience. however, I DO NOT believe in a million years that you are one of those minders who totally ignores their mindees for 2 hours whilst at toddlers which I think is what OP was having a go at

No, I was referring to my experience of a couple of the older minders at a certain group I go to. Too busy talking and moaning about their jobs that it looks like they've got no kids until someone brings to their attention that their mindees are beating up a small child over the other side of the room. One of them marched over, grabbed the kid over to another area and left him there and returned to their conversation about how fed up they are with his behaviour....in front of other parents. I wasn't saying all older minders do this. This behaviour is losing me potential business, that's why I'm mad.

[AliceK]

No, I was referring to my experience of a couple of the older minders at a certain group I go to. Too busy talking and moaning about their jobs that it looks like they've got no kids until someone brings to their attention that their mindees are beating up a small child over the other side of the room. One of them marched over, grabbed the kid over to another area and left him there and returned to their conversation about how fed up they are with his behaviour....in front of other parents. I wasn't saying all older minders do this. This behaviour is losing me potential business, that's why I'm mad.

I'm afraid to say that this is why I stopped going to our local toddler group. The area where the chairs are is in a seperate room to the large area with all the toys and where all the older (walking) children are. I was one of the very few who spent time in there with the children watching and keeping an eye out whilst they played. The amount of times I had to intervene because some poor child was being "bullied" by another and was there any parents / minders around? NO. Too busy in the other area chatting. I don't want to be associated and put in the same class as those other minders. Sorry

Like any job there are the good and the bad but I understand the OP's frustration with it all.

xxx

[Penny1959]

I have experienced this as well - and in fact now won't go to groups where the sort of practise described goes on.

I am not talking about those that supervise their children and respond to each child's needs as and when required.

I talking about those who are so busy chatting that they have no idea if their mindee has :- fallen from the climbing frame, spilt an unattended cup of coffee over them, been sick, got out of the main door onto the street, hit another child, not getting a turn with the 'in' toy, and so on. They are also the same ones who might need to goout for a 'fag', or stand in the kitchen chatting for an hour, leave a mindee a sleep in car unattended, strap a distressed child in a buggy and leave them either facing the wall or in the corridor.

And I have seen old and young cm's do this, new and established cm's, those with a satisfactory grade and those with an outstanding grade.

It is only a few who do this - but I can not stand back watch a child be ignored and / or not have their needs met - I have tried challenging, Ihave tried modelling good practice, I have tried suggesting, I have tried reporting - but nothing changes.

Therefore I now just don't go to those groups. I love to chat as much - if not more than everyone else - but I can do this while playing with / supervising the children. I also don't feel I need to haver a cup of coffee while doing this - in fact in the group I now attend - no one is in the kitchen as no drinks for cm's (unless bring one in their bag) and each cm brings own drinks and tajkes own cups home to wash and snack time is a shared event with everyone bringing something to share. Works for us - though I recognise not for everyone.

Penny

[kindredspirits]

I am yet to have gone to a group where I don't feel like the only one watching ALL the children, and to be perfectly honest I totally resent watching other minders children - that is what they are being paid for - if it was everyone doing it and all mucking in with each others I wouldn't mind, but I'm usually the one that watches every single kid, stops accidents and hands upset mindees back to the correct minder whilst everyone else has a good old gossip - so I stopped going. My mindees don't go to large groups, but are perfectly sociable and happy.

But in all honesty, thinking about the original post, I couldn't care less what the average person thinks about me, my profession or other childminders - the parents I have had through the door have in general been happy with me (usually the ones that don't like me asking for payment leave unhappy, but thats not my issue.) I have had most parents cry whilst giving me notice and I know that the children in my care receive an amazing amount of care, attention and education - in fact my nearly 2 year old mindees mum asked me at the door if I was teaching him numbers (she obviously doesn't read his daily diary) as he counted to 20 yesteray - so I proudly told her that we do loads of counting games and he likes to join in with looking at the numbers etc with everyone else so its nice to know that its noticed what i am doing with him!

[Maza]

I do know what you mean. Most of the time I don't take much notice of other people's comments, but occasionally it does really annoy me. We also get lots of mums who don't supervise their childrn at playgroups. My daughter nearly fell off the slide once because I was helping another unsupervised child who had hurt herself - that really annoyed me.

[The Juggler]

I'm afraid to say that this is why I stopped going to our local toddler group. The area where the chairs are is in a seperate room to the large area with all the toys and where all the older (walking) children are. I was one of the very few who spent time in there with the children watching and keeping an eye out whilst they played. The amount of times I had to intervene because some poor child was being "bullied" by another and was there any parents / minders around? NO. Too busy in the other area chatting. I don't want to be associated and put in the same class as those other minders. Sorry

Like any job there are the good and the bad but I understand the OP's frustration with it all.

xxx

the plus side of this though is parents and other visitors through the group can see the difference between a minder who actually interacts and plays with the kids and those that sit in the corner huddle for the whole 2 hours. Parents and managers at our group know which of us do sit and play with the kids and who don't and it is reflected in the work people get locally feel sorry for the poor kiddies though, some of them are sooo needy for attention when they come to join in the play really upsets me

[Ripeberry]

I wasn't having a go at anyone who doesn't have any qualifications at all..far from it.
There are a lot of fantastic childminders who don't have any training. I'm just peed off with the comments I get.. It just makes me feel undervalued
Comments like' I bet you get lots of free time in the day if your at home all day'
Or ' are you going back to work once your own two are grown up'.
And the looks I get from people who come and talk to me at toddler group. When they ask me how old my dd is, I reply oh she's 3 but she's not mine. 'oh, you childmind do you?' ....end of conversation
When I used to be a nanny, I didn't get any comments like this and I felt a lot more better about myself that's all
Maybe I'm in the wrong job....

Oh, yes, I've that conversation as well. Why do they think you are not going to be their 'friend' if you are a CM. It's almost as if they think you are a child snatcher or something?
But then you get the other type of conversation where people tell you that they would never do CM for other people's children in a million years as it's too much responsibility.
Well, that's why I've taken the trouble to get registered, insured and trained in 1st aid.
But then, these same mothers, send their children to the unregistered lady down the road as she does not charge (yes, she has up to 5 kids after school, some under 5yrs old), but she does not charge.

She knows that she will be up creek without a paddle if anything went wrong but the parents said they would 'lie' to the authorities if she got into trouble.
Some people are just strange!

[AliceK]

the plus side of this though is parents and other visitors through the group can see the difference between a minder who actually interacts and plays with the kids and those that sit in the corner huddle for the whole 2 hours. Parents and managers at our group know which of us do sit and play with the kids and who don't and it is reflected in the work people get locally feel sorry for the poor kiddies though, some of them are sooo needy for attention when they come to join in the play really upsets me

This is true. I've had people ask me if I have spaces based on watching me interact with my mindees when we're in the school or nursery playground. I don't park them in the buggy facing a wall and stand around nattering, I am stood in front of the pushchair where I can see them and they can see me if they need me or I'm crouching down and interacting with them. It's good to know that people are taking notice of what we're doing though.


xxx

[miffy]

It's good to know that people are taking notice of what we're doing though.


xxx

It pays to remember we are always in someone's view when out and about and it is surprising how many people (parents and professionals) watch what we do.

Hope you're feeling better today Bexc

Miffy xx

[PerkyEars]

Maybe this is a tangent, sorry.

But there's been times at groups when I've been grateful for another CM or volunteer keeping an eye out, because I can't be in two places at once. Example - a group I go to has an indoors and outdoors. The 3 year old boy wants to be outside running up and down on the trikes, that's what he's interested in. The 1 year old wants to be investigating all the stuff inside, and if I bought her outside, she'd be missing out. So I leave 3 year old to get on with it outside for a few mins, knowing someone else is outside and I take baby inside. Does this make me a bad CM? It's an honest question. I just thought it was OK to have give and take, and trusting the other people at the group. Or should I be keeping them both together, taking turns at inside and outside, supervising both of my own at all times. I'm worried now I've ****** people off.

Personally I'd be fine interacting with someone elses mindees if they had their hands full elsewhere.

I wonder if it's about goodwill. I sometimes feel CM groups are full of people quietly judging each others practice rather than mutual support.

[The Juggler]

Maybe this is a tangent, sorry.

But there's been times at groups when I've been grateful for another CM or volunteer keeping an eye out, because I can't be in two places at once. Example - a group I go to has an indoors and outdoors. The 3 year old boy wants to be outside running up and down on the trikes, that's what he's interested in. The 1 year old wants to be investigating all the stuff inside, and if I bought her outside, she'd be missing out. So I leave 3 year old to get on with it outside for a few mins, knowing someone else is outside and I take baby inside. Does this make me a bad CM? It's an honest question. I just thought it was OK to have give and take, and trusting the other people at the group. Or should I be keeping them both together, taking turns at inside and outside, supervising both of my own at all times. I'm worried now I've ****** people off.

Personally I'd be fine interacting with someone elses mindees if they had their hands full elsewhere.

I wonder if it's about goodwill. I sometimes feel CM groups are full of people quietly judging each others practice rather than mutual support.

with a minder I know very well I'd leave the children to go to the toilet (as long as other minder won't be over numbers with too many to watch) and I run!. However, with indoor outdoor areas and longer periods of time , no I would make sure I had all my children with me and in sight. I would hate for a child to fall indoors or out and not to have been there. I know you don't always see what happened even when you are there (if your back is turned for example) but I'd hate to have to tell a parent I wasn't there

as to judging people, I don't think there is anything wrong with having an opinion on poor practice and I understand your reasons for doing what you have done with teh indoor/outdoor areas (though I'd reconsider) but when you see minders who for years and years, consistently ignore, don't interact or nurture their mindees I will openly say that I hate it. It's not the same as a caring minder who isn't there for a bit or doesn't see what happens on the odd occasion

[PerkyEars]

Having thought about it a bit more, I think I will reconsider. In a situation where you're professionally responsible, I think its a different situation to your own kids, and I suppose I'm still getting my head around the differences. (There's a another group where I've not always had my eye on my own child - but then I've totally trusted the other people there, and thats my choice).

Meh, maybe I'm getting a bit defensive assuming other minders are judgemental, or just need to find a friendlier group!

ETA As a newish minder I really appreciate this forum, and hearing views that give me ideas on how to improve. Better than any CMing group I've found!

[JCrakers]

Feeling better today thanks

Hope I didn't upset anyone...didn't mean to.
I understand everyone's different situations and wouldn't put anyone down for doing their job the best they can, it's just that a few people in my area don't.
And when parents have the hard decision of who to leave their children with it doesn't help when these people are representing childminders.
It just gets my back up...but as long as I do a good job,that's all that matters