7 month old separation anxiety

**candlequeen** · 16-09-2011, 02:28 PM

I started looking after a six month old baby at the beginning of the summer - just 6 hours a week at first. She was settling in OK but after a few weeks the family went away on holiday for 3 weeks. They've been back a few weeks, the mum decided to up the hours to 9 hours, over 3 3-hour sessions each week. But since they've been back the baby has developed separation anxiety, and basically cries the whole time only stopping if I carry her and walk around with her.
The trouble is this isn't possible, but if I leave her to cry it upsets my own 3 year old and other mindees who are only around 12 months old themselves.

I'm sure it's just a phase, and eventually she will grow out of it, however, I wondered if any of you who have a lot of experience of babies could advise if perhaps the short sessions of 2 to 3 hours three times a week are not the best way to do this. Perhaps longer sessions less frequently might be better? Or just building up gradually again from very short stints? Or any other advice basically on how to approach this.

The mum is due to return to work in January and would like me to do 30 hours a week then, which situation suits me well (provided she does eventually settle!) so although it's not important business at the moment I don't want to lose her if possible.

**rosebud** · 16-09-2011, 03:01 PM

In my experience short, regular sessions is better than longer, less frequent ones. I find that babies who only come once a week take a great deal longer to settle that those who come at least 3 days. Just my opinion though

**The Juggler** · 16-09-2011, 04:44 PM

I agree, for settling in daily or more regular sessions are better. Perhaps if she is not returnign for a while you could suggest mum visiting once a week with LO as well as doing the 3 x 3 hour sessions per week. Just for an hour maybe?

**candlequeen** · 16-09-2011, 04:59 PM

Thanks so much for your advice. I was also thinking about it further, and I think also part of the situation is that the baby finds it a bit noisy and gets anxious at my house with other children around. I was going to suggest that the mum take her to some playgroups, as I think at the moment the baby spends a lot of time alone with the mother. Do you think if I see the baby at playgroups with her mum as well as at my house it will help her get used to me quicker?