Lost 'Comforter' HELP

[suzyblue]

One of my mindees brings a muslin and a tiny cuddly toy, every evening we are running around looking for it so I suggested that mum introduce another similar toy incase we cant find it one night - now the child brings both toys and we are running round looking for both every blooming night!!!

[mandy moo]

I would be having 'words' with this parent telling them this is not your fault and you have cared for correctly and returned THE most precious thing.. her child.

i have a mindee age 2 who has a toy monkey.... (mum has a back up but he knows).... I have managed to detach him from his dummy (but its the first thing mum gives him as soon as she sees him ) but his monkey..... that goes everywhere with us. We did loose it once.... and mum was ok with me..... monkey did turn up ok eventually.

My middle son now age 11 has a comforter still - a very very raggy cot blanket!You cannot be expected to ensure the safety of all possesions.... at the end of the day - this child will be starting school soon.... is the parent going to have a pop at the teachers like this.. no ... so don't stand for it yourself.

Thank goodness for that, my son is 9 (10 in Sep) he has a muslin and a small racoon who he absolutley adores, the world comes to an end if we cant find it at bed time!! no matter how many times I tell him to leave it in his bed where he'll be safe and not get lost.. Well at least he doesent take it out with him anymore

[caz3007]

My son is nearly 9 and he has a tiny bit of green fabric that came off a toy. It has to be that particular bit cos its all worn and bobbly. It now stays in his bedroom, but it has never left the house anyway. It has been lost over the years and been awol for a long time and he has got over it, but has always welcomed it back when it turns up again

[Mummits]

Poor you. I can't believe how rude and unreasonable this parent has been. I totally agree with other replies saying they should have had a spare if it's that precious, and isn't the girl a bit old to be that dependent anyway?

[singingcactus]

I bet mum is really mad at herself for allowing lo to bring it. It's always easier to turn anger outwards though. It's one of those things that is no -one fault, but is really horrible. I couldn't stand it if my sons favourite comforters got lost, he would be beside himself. I don't allow him to take his out of the house either, simply because it would be unnecessarily hard for him if they were lost. Plus he sleeps with them at night and I don't want all manner of revolting germs on them and in his bed.
I hope it turns up in the bottom of a toy box, or laundry basket or something. Poor little girl, and everyone else.

[georgie456]

She's just text me syaing how fuming she is, and that she pays me to look after her child and I've lost the most precious thing in the world to her.

They can't get another one as she got it in France when she was 8 weeks old.

To be honest, it seems to me that its more mum making a fuss of this rabbit than the girl, I think she's reinforced the childs NEED for her "have you got rabbit" "make sure you get rabbit"

I've not found it and now I have no clue where it is, but I feel awful, I feel that it's all my fault that this poor girl is distraught.

My OH said "Oh well, she'd have had to learn to sleep without it and be without it sooner or later". Which, makes sense, but it should be up to mum when that happens, not when it gets lost

This is outrageous!!!!! I'm sorry but I would have to answer that it is your job to care for the child and not her personal belongings. Do you have a personal belongings policy at all? If not, maybe time to write one!!!

Has she calmed down today at all?

[NicoleW]

No, she's just emailed me to say that the girl won't be returning in september and she's cancelling the contract with ''immediate effect''

To which I had to remind her that in her contract it states both parties need to give 6 weeks notice of termination of contract, and that I still require FULL payment for those weeks (not the half I was letting her pay during the summer holidays whilst her child wasn't with me to keep the place)

Let's see how this goes...

Trust me, eh? My FIRST contract as a childminder and this is how it goes

[boxtree7]

very unreasonable parents ... sorry its you first experience but i can assure you it won't always be like that. good luck with you notice period.

[NicoleW]

It's made me kind of contemplate carrying on childminding, if I'm going to be blamed for everything

[caz3007]

It's made me kind of contemplate carrying on childminding, if I'm going to be blamed for everything

I think you have just been unlucky with a very very unreasonable parent. I have never ever been blamed for anything like that and I lost a childs shoe when he had only been with me for a couple of weeks, I was mortified, went back and looked but couldnt find it as we had been into town. But mum never blamed me, it was an accident. You didnt deliberately lose the comforter and the mum is being totally unreasonable, you didnt harm her child and the child will soon learn to use something else as a comforter or live with out one.

[~Chelle~]

No, she's just emailed me to say that the girl won't be returning in september and she's cancelling the contract with ''immediate effect''

To which I had to remind her that in her contract it states both parties need to give 6 weeks notice of termination of contract, and that I still require FULL payment for those weeks (not the half I was letting her pay during the summer holidays whilst her child wasn't with me to keep the place)

Let's see how this goes...

Trust me, eh? My FIRST contract as a childminder and this is how it goes

Giving you notice because HER child lost HER comforter The woman has issues!!

I would not let it put you off at all hun, we all get some parents like this at some point or another.

I have had mindee's who have lost dummies and socks and even a shoe before and all of the parents have been fine about it, because it is one of those things!

I think mum is being very unreasonable in blaming you, when you have done all that you can to try and find the rabbit.

I hope you get your notice money x x

[NicoleW]

Is she refuses to pay the money what shall I do?

My OH says to threaten to take her to a small claims court, but to be honest as it's my first parent if she refuses to pay I can't be doing with all the hassle of the claims court to get my money. At the same time I don't want to be a pushover as I'm trying to run a business!

What would you do?

[gigglinggoblin]

Your insurance company will advise you what to do if she wont pay.

Everyone gets a parent who is a bit batty, think of it as passing initiation! Its very much a learning process, you cant predict what parents will get wierd about until it happens. Just learn and move on, you should be due some nice parents next (fingers crossed!).

[samb]

Oh my goodness poor you! This woman is very unreasonable! She will be regretting it in Sept when her lo has been over it for the last few weeks!

[Trouble]

Your insurance company will advise you what to do if she wont pay.

Everyone gets a parent who is a bit batty, think of it as passing initiation! Its very much a learning process, you cant predict what parents will get wierd about until it happens. Just learn and move on, you should be due some nice parents next (fingers crossed!).

I agree you will learn from this and you will be stronger and less patient

you should make her pay as she is in the wrong not you xxxx

[Bitsy Beans]

I would be having 'words' with this parent telling them this is not your fault and you have cared for correctly and returned THE most precious thing.. her child.

Glad I am not the only one who thought that when I read it.

to her cancelling contract. Sound to me like she's punishing you for the distress of her child which is wrong. Kids lose things, sadly it's going to happen and as another poster pointed out her mum just reinforced her attachment to this bunny. We lost DS's teddy a couple of time and in the end we decided it wasn't to leave the house.

[Pipsqueak]

No, she's just emailed me to say that the girl won't be returning in september and she's cancelling the contract with ''immediate effect''

To which I had to remind her that in her contract it states both parties need to give 6 weeks notice of termination of contract, and that I still require FULL payment for those weeks (not the half I was letting her pay during the summer holidays whilst her child wasn't with me to keep the place)

Let's see how this goes...

Trust me, eh? My FIRST contract as a childminder and this is how it goes

What you now need to do is heave a sigh of relief that you have got rid of a parent that is obviously irrational and going to be a huge pain.

Second - write a letter confirming your acceptance of their termination of contract. however I would state in the letter that "it is with much regret and a little surprise that they have decided to terminate the contract over a lost comforter". I would go on to say that obviously you are sorry that XX (child) lost it whilst in your care however you cannot be held responsible for personal items - particuarly for older children, but you will continue to search for it.

I would FIRMLY explain in the letter (very succinctly) that this is their problem not yours.

I would say you enclose the final invoice in accordance with the contract (put a copy of the contract in with relevant sections highlighted) giving them xxx amount of days to pay. just politely notiing that if they fail to pay you will have no choice but to pursue this through legal means (NCMA or MM whomever you are with).

[NicoleW]

She's just emailed me saying she's paying me no more money because

" I have paid you up to date and to be honest was not impressed that *** had to sit in the hospital whilst you took Hannah to her appointment, the doctors whilst you took Hannah to her appointment "

Also said about her daughter having lunch at sainsburys all the time, and me not encouraging her to clean her teeth and making her watch my own daughter while I did nothing!

It's absolute rubbish!

I've left it at that, I'm not going argue anymore as she's said she'll go and complain to ofsted and as I'm a new childminder they won't believe me.

I'm just going to email her all the pictures of her child then delete them from my phone.

I'm so upset

[AliceK]

What a silly woman . Please do not let this go. Call your insurance company and ask them what you need to do now with regards getting your money. Do not let her bully you. If she wants to go to Ofsted then let her. What have you got to worry about. Her child lost her comforter whilst in your care. Oftsed are not going to be interested in this and will see it for what it is. As for you being a new childminder so Ofsted won't believe you?? What!!!!!! Some parents obviously think they can threaten us with Ofsted and we'll back down on whatever the issue is that they don't like, in your case money owed. Hold your head up high and carry on, you have done nothing wrong and don't let her get away with not paying you.

Good luck

xxxxx

[Pipsqueak]

She's just emailed me saying she's paying me no more money because

" I have paid you up to date and to be honest was not impressed that *** had to sit in the hospital whilst you took Hannah to her appointment, the doctors whilst you took Hannah to her appointment "

Also said about her daughter having lunch at sainsburys all the time, and me not encouraging her to clean her teeth and making her watch my own daughter while I did nothing!

It's absolute rubbish!

I've left it at that, I'm not going argue anymore as she's said she'll go and complain to ofsted and as I'm a new childminder they won't believe me.
I'm just going to email her all the pictures of her child then delete them from my phone.

I'm so upset

Now sorry hun - that is a load of tosh (highlighted in red) - if you have done nothing wrong then you have nothing to fear. And if you do not respect yourself enough now to stand up for yourself then you are going to allow yourself to be walked all over for the rest of your minding career.

You need to stop communicating by email, grow a backbone quickly and write to her refuting her statements clearly and concisely. She has shot herself in the foot by threatening Ofsted when its clearly about money...... KEEP ALL CORRESEPONDENCe you send and receive including these emails.

You have done nothing wrong and you are allowed to go to the hospital for appointments with the minded child.. if she had a problem she should have raised it before.
Believe it or not - Ofsted are VERY GOOD at spotting malicious complaints - which is what hers will be. Ofsted still have a duty to investiate however there are steps you can do.

Would you like me to help you write a letter to this stupid parent who is banking on your exact reaction you have initially given?

You are owed money and why on earth should she not pay it over a silly teddy - that is not even a PROPER complaint.

you have done nothing wrong and you need to speak to ofsted first and tell them you are expecting a malicious complaint from this parent. Ofsted will take brief details - child lost teddy, parents lost the plot, you want your money owed, they are threatening you..... and give you the bog standard reply of 'we have to investigate' blah blah....

you then write to parents and explain and offer to take a full complaint in writing blah blah - you refute what they have already said
you enclose final invocie
you speak to NCMA or MM

and then you get on with your life.....


pm if you want me to write the letter.