Why won't parents let their children sleep?!  Advice needed.
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  1. #1
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    Default Why won't parents let their children sleep?! Advice needed.

    A parent of a 2 year old that I mind has asked me this morning not to let her sleep when she's with me as she's not going to sleep until 9pm (I have her from 7.30am until 5.30 Thurs and Fri).

    I asked her what I should do if she falls asleep on the 3pm school run as I knew by then she would be well over tired and she said just to wake her up.

    I really don't agree with this! If a child falls asleep of their own accord they should be allowed to sleep as long they want! My partner says that that's easy for me to say as I'm not the one being kept up at night. He also says that my job is to do what the parent asks, but what about what's best for the child?

    She's only just turned two and after we've been to a group in the morning and had lunch she's shattered! At 1.30pm today she even asked me to go to sleep and I had to say no. As I knew would happen she fell asleep as soon as she was in the pushchair for the school run. The run takes 50 mins in total (3 schools!) so by the time we got back she had slept for all that time. I did wake her then even though she slept through 5 very noisy mindees singing and shouting when we finally got in from the rain.

    When I told Mum her face was a picture! I think she was shocked that I let her sleep and even said "what a naughty girl" to LO!

    What are your thoughts? Is there anything I can say to her to make her see that cutting her daytime nap may not be such a good idea? Or should I just grin and bear it?

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    I have the same problem going on, the child is so tired by 5.30 he is beyond hyper and spends most of the afternoon in tears

    i hate waking him up and think its cruel it isnt even making a lot of difference at bedtimne but he just falls asleep now instead of them chasing him round the room to tire him out
    One life live it

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    There was a recent case reported in Nursery World magazine where someone made a complaint against a nursery which was following parents wishes by keeping a child awake.

    The nursery were told they were wrong and parents were wrong and that the child's human rights were not being upheld.

    There are some arguments you can use with parents here -

    http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/b...eryWorldUpdate

    And Google it for more info. Hth

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    How exactly are you supposed to keep a tired child awake anyway when they are in the buggy? You cant keep stopping and waking them up can you - you'd never get home! My children are impossible to wake if they are really tired - not even an earthquake woke them

    Expecting a little one to go all day without a sleep is unrealistic and over tired children take longer to settle at night anyway.

    Good luck with it - not easy is it?x

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    I have been having the same chat with one of my mums

    I now only have lo 8-12:30 and she asked for advice as she can now see why I thought mid week he needed a sleep!

    She called the Health Visitor who has told her he needs 1 hour after lunch, a good solid hour and it WILL improve how he goes to bed at night! LO been onn hols this week so interested to see how it has been

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    Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and a 2 year old needs a nap in the day.

    I havent got any advice on how to convince the parents of this and there will be others who have gone through this but I would not be trying very hard to wake lo on the school run, and if lo fell asleep for an hour on the sofa I wouldn't mention it

    (Bad childminder, bad childminder )

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    If a child needs to sleep they should be allowed to sleep, sleeping in the day, unless its very late on should actually help a little one settle at night because they wont be over tired.
    ***** proofed the house but they're still getting in!

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah707 View Post
    There was a recent case reported in Nursery World magazine where someone made a complaint against a nursery which was following parents wishes by keeping a child awake.

    The nursery were told they were wrong and parents were wrong and that the child's human rights were not being upheld.

    There are some arguments you can use with parents here -

    http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/b...eryWorldUpdate

    And Google it for more info. Hth

    thats a great link Sarah

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    very good link that one sarah thanks...3 of my parents are so very different from each other two children same age 1 and half one mum says only half an hour max, the other mum says let him sleep when ever he wants!

    the other mum child is nearly 3 she lets her sleep for 3 hours during the day

    xxx
    Jennie x x

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    Sleep get my vote. I would let the children sleep ......... When they reach age 3 then I would follow parents wishes. The little girl I mind sleeps some days and some days not. If she wants to sleep around 3 oclock i text her mum first to let to her now as this is late in the afternoon. My son is 14 months and he loves his sleeps 12 hours in the evening and 2 x 21/2 hours in the day - hes a very active little man once hes up - he walked at 10 months - people always comment on how content he is. I had a mum once who requested that her son didn't sleep in the day it turned out this is becasue when he got picked up at 5 he would sleep for a couple of hours when she got in and dad would have to stay up with him in the eveing.
    Last edited by boxtree7; 26-05-2011 at 08:19 PM.
    CWR

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    I agree that children should be allowed to sleep but I can see a parent's point of view on this one. When you have been working all day and need to sort out lots of things, having a LO up at 10pm still is quite tough. I know that I can't get my LO to sleep before 10pm if she sleeps past 2pm. She is 2 but has been like this since about 16months of age. Yes she needs a sleep, but it either has to be shortened or earlier.

    A compromise could be a sleep for 3/4 of or 1 hour after lunch.

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    Personally I would explain to parent that if she doesn't get a nap she will fall asleep on the school run, which is worse because it is later in the day. Explain to her that you will get her down as early as possible and gently start waking her after 45mins - 1hr. I'm a great believer that sleep induces sleep. We have a 20mth old who has been a poor sleeper both day and night, he will now have 2hrs after lunch and sleeps all night

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah707 View Post
    There was a recent case reported in Nursery World magazine where someone made a complaint against a nursery which was following parents wishes by keeping a child awake.

    The nursery were told they were wrong and parents were wrong and that the child's human rights were not being upheld.

    There are some arguments you can use with parents here -

    http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/b...eryWorldUpdate

    And Google it for more info. Hth
    you beat me to it sarah

    i was just going to say that i have this printed off and in my file for when the parents ask me to keep their child awake.

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    A nap of 40 mins is enough to give them a rest and still get them to sleep earlier for the parents. My 2yr old mindee gets very hyper when he is tired and will run around in circles and bounce off furniture he is 'drunk' with tiredness.

    I find that if he gets that 40 mins, even if just driving in the car, then he does not do his 'mad spell'.

    When he is at home his mum lets him sleep for 2-3hrs each afternoon, but he is so busy at mine that he won't sleep that long, but gets tired the next day.
    Need a laugh? Visit my website: www.unclegargy.deviantART.com

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubybubbles View Post
    thats a great link Sarah
    Sorry totally off subject, but Rubybubbles my kids love your avatar!!
    Grindal

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    Quote Originally Posted by sarah707 View Post
    There was a recent case reported in Nursery World magazine where someone made a complaint against a nursery which was following parents wishes by keeping a child awake.

    The nursery were told they were wrong and parents were wrong and that the child's human rights were not being upheld.

    There are some arguments you can use with parents here -

    http://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/news/b...eryWorldUpdate

    And Google it for more info. Hth
    Thanks for that Sarah!

    I always say to parents it's better for the child to have a sleep after lunch than it is to have them fall asleep on the school run or over their tea!

    I would never stop a small child sleeping, I think it's cruel - children don't go to sleep unless they need to!

    Miffy xx
    Keep smiling!

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    I would agree with all....she obviously needs a nap and the earlier the better. If she falls asleep later in the day then thats going to keep her up.
    A little nap after lunch would make sense esp as she still so little.

    My 2.4yr old has a nap every morning between 1-1.5hrs. If she didnt get it she would fall asleep on school run at 3-4 which is too late

    Becky x

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    Don't shoot me down here but if a parent is having trouble getting their child to sleep at night then the parent needs to be looking at that childs bedtime routine and rules about once the child has been put in bed. If a 2yr old needs a short sleep during the day then trying to stop that sleep will actually make the child less likely to sleep at night.

    Both my children go to bed between 7 and 7.30, they often don't go to sleep straight away but they know the rules about being in bed and the fact that they might be playing quietly or reading etc for another 30 mins causes no problems for us. If a child is not wanting to go to bed and screaming and running about in and out of their bedrooms then the parenting skills need to be questioned in my opinion. Sorry, but I am very strict about bedtime with my children and they have always settled in their bedrooms at night without a fuss.
    Sorry rant over

    xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Playmate View Post
    Personally I would explain to parent that if she doesn't get a nap she will fall asleep on the school run, which is worse because it is later in the day. Explain to her that you will get her down as early as possible and gently start waking her after 45mins - 1hr. I'm a great believer that sleep induces sleep. We have a 20mth old who has been a poor sleeper both day and night, he will now have 2hrs after lunch and sleeps all night
    I abosolutely agree with this. I currently have a 9mth old. They have a sleep for 45mins to 1 hour at 8-9am, a 1-2hr sleep after lunch. They go home at 5.30, having had their tea, they have a bath and are in bed by 7pm at the latest and sleep until 6am.

    These parents were so keen for the baby to be kept in routine I drove 350 miles last Sat and Sun to go and take care of him during his parents wedding and for the Sat night. I have had a lovely letter of thanks. One of their friends, who lives round the corner from me was so impressed that she is coming to see me about having her baby because she sin't happy with the Day Nursery she is using.

    Parents who do not have a good bedtime routine that they stick to will usually have prolems with sleep. If a child is allowed to get over tired then it becomes harder to settle them for the night. The same with very young ones who are up till 8-9pm watching dvds and being highly stimulated. Its not rocket science.

  20. #20
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    i'm certainly a believer that if a child wants to sleep you should let them, i also like to let them wake up naturally too as 9 times out of 10 they wake up refreshed and happier than a child you wake up because really they still want to be asleep.


    my ds is now 3 i just wish he hadnt stopped having naps during the day at 10 months old!!! agggghhhh (his choice not mine he just didnt want to go to sleep duringthe day think he thought he was missing out on something lol).


    xxxx

 

 
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