3 yr old going upstairs / to toilet on own?

[buzzy bee]

When my (nearly) 3 year old was picked up today, he said he needed a wee, so mum said 'go on up then'. He wanted her to go with him but she said 'you don't need me, go on up!'

I usually go with him, so I asked if he normally goes on his own and she said he does...

I'm not sure about this, because it means going up and down the stairs, and being upstairs on his own. My bathroom is safe for kids, however he can't reach the taps (even with a step) so it does mean he'll have to come down having not washed his hands, and I'll then have to give him a squirt of anti-bac hand stuff.

What should I do?

[Andrea08]

mmmm my 3yr olds go toilet unaided and we teach to wash hands and check them,,, although they have been going since they were 2yrs old with help .. at nursery they go on their own without a NN

i think it depends on the child and if you feel they are ok to go on their own, although mine are due to start school sept so need to practice with or with out accidents to go on their own,

talk to mum about your policy and if you dont want unsupervised children in the bathroom then make a point about it and your policy, i have a wc just off the play room and they always go with out me, i just send them bk to was hands or flush d loo ..

xxx

[ChocolateChip]

All of my lo's were 3 before they were out of nappies. I would start off going up with them, showing them how to do the taps etc. and when I was confident they could manage I would stay at the bottom of my stairs and keep an eye (you can see right in my bathroom as it's at the top of the stairs, lol ) and remind them to do stuff if they needed it.

If he cannot wash hands by himself I would go up with him, let him do what he can independantly but help him with the taps, personally I wouldn't want him not washing.

[Pipsqueak]

if you feel more comfy going up with him then do so. Perhaps you can give him his independance by waiting outside the door and just assisting to wash hands/taps etc.

[PixiePetal]

When my mindee used the upstairs loo at 3 and couldn't do the taps I used to put a little water in the basin before he arrived and go up in a quiet moment when babies asleep etc to empty and refresh. He was the only child using it at the time so no worries about cross infection etc.

I knew the mindee well and he did not go in other rooms, which I closed the doors on - I called up the stairs to see how he was doing

[buzzy bee]

Thanks for the replies, and great idea about filling the basin up - hadn't even occurred to me!! Thanks

[Flisspaps]

I've been wondering about this, my nearly 3 yo mindee ALWAYS needs the loo in the middle of breakfast, meaning I have to take food from the two babies in order to take her up (to prevent a choking hazard and having no downstairs loo) ending up with two cross babies and a harrassed CM!

I did let her go up on her own on Monday, and she came down having not washed her hands.

I do have a camping water carrier though so I could fill that up and get her to wash her hands downstairs when she's done with a bowl underneath (she can't reach the kitchen sink, old belfast type)

[mrs_scottydog]

I let my 3 yr old go upstairs by himself and follow him up after a couple of minutes so I can help him wash his hands. If he hasn't finished I wait outside so that he has some privacy. Hx

[georgie456]

My 3 yr old mindee goes up to the toilet on his own. He's quite grown up for his age, but if he needs a reminder about washing his hands I call up to him and he gets on with it. He likes his privacy and seems to cope better when I'm not in the room if that makes sense.

[Louise0208]

my DD (2) goes to the toilet & hand washes independantley (i know that hand washing wont be brilliant but she tries lol)

i have my loo & bathroom seperate (upstairs) so have antibac gel in the loo aswell

all my kids have been pretty much doing the stairs alone since 18-20 months-ish

[Goatgirl]

Hi, I have a 3 yr old who goes upstairs alone to the toilet and can't reach the real sink too.

She knows to tell me when she wants to go and I watch her go safely up the stairs.

She can usually manage on her own in the loo, but if she wants help I'm happy to go up too .

Then she has a go at the flush (if it doesn't work I'll go up and sort it: there's a knack ) and washes her hands in a plastic toddler sink that hooks over the side of the bath ( I re fill it each time the water is used ) with a little shelf built in for her own separate soap dispenser. Sorry, can't find where I bought it from. Got the original recommendation from this site though

She calls me again when she is coming down the stairs and we count her down.

Its important to encourage independence, but in a secure way, so the child feels supported. Play it according to your gut feeling. Its up to you how things are done at your house, not Mum. Especially regarding health and safety issues.

best wishes,
Wendy