Ideas for ds letting others hold hand/buggy

**louise** · 24-03-2011, 09:54 PM

Hi. Have you got any ideas of what else I can try with my ds? He has to hold my hand or the buggy he will not hold another mindees hand very oftern. At the moment its not too bad but I do feel bad that 2 mindees always have to hold hands as he wont. I need to get it sorted as in sept I will have a 4 yr old and no doubt the 3 1/2 will be out of the buggy by then so I need to hold both of there hands. He nearly 7. I have spoken to him about it said as he is the oldest he can have the special job of helping keep the younger mindee safe but no, also explained about sharing ect. Today he told me it is so he can keep up. My friend said maybe it is as your his Mum and he thinks he should.

Thank you Lou

Penny1959 · 24-03-2011, 10:50 PM

A difficult one

Maybe drop the subject for now - but when he is 7 make a point of saying that now he is 7 he is old enough to walk with out holding anyones hand (provided he is sensible enough) and make a point of sticking to it from his birthday even if means you have to be prepared not to walk a single step until he will walk with out holding your hand or the buggy.

It might help to tell him to walk just in front of the buggy - that way he won't have to worry about getting left behind, you will be able to see him and able to give verbal encouragement/ supervision.

Of course I don't know your son and may not work at all with him

Hope you find a solution

Penny

**youarewhatyoueat** · 24-03-2011, 10:51 PM

Are you saying that your ds age 7 wants to hold your hand? sorry I read it twice and still not sure( its getting late,brain dead!!)

If I've got it right I would tell your ds that while you are working this is what has to happen, you have to hold hands with whoever you say.
I always push the fact that I am working, and certain things have to be done a certain way for safety, end of, no argument.
I wouldn't give him a special job, I would stress that you are in charge, its how you earn money and explain it is a job. Sounds a bit harsh when read back, but when its a safety issue then unfortunately thats the way it has to be.

Pipsqueak · 25-03-2011, 08:23 AM

Oh I think that is lovely - wish my 6 yr old wanted to hold my hand.
Plus neither of my two eldest wanted to hold my hand at that age.

I think I would gently explain that you need to be able to keep the littles ones safe and as he is your big boy you can trust him to help you etc.

Get wrist straps/reins for the others - much easier than holding hands I think.

I would then instigate turn taking etc. I understand the need to ensure the safety of the LO's however your own wants to feel close to you to

**louise** · 25-03-2011, 08:11 PM

Well today he did let the others hold for a bit but they are quite happy walking together infront a lot when we aren't crossing a road. I now take 4 walking to school on a fri and he held the new mindees hand with out a fuss but he was still closest to the buggy. They have been told who they are to be paired with as well.

Penny, They all know the rule is for them to always to be infront of me. Part of the reason of keeping up I should of said is as he has NF type 1. It means he has fine and gross motor skill problems, for example nearly b3 yr old mindee can nearly out run him.

Pips, I know its lovely he still wants to hold my hand and I will miss it when he wont.

youarewhatyoueat- Its not a problem at the moment as Mindees are all 6 or in a buggy. I just want him to get use to it for September when I'll have a 4 yr old. He understands my job and is very proud of what I do.

thank you everyone

onceinabluemoon · 26-03-2011, 07:09 AM

How about you get some of those back packs with reins attached for the 4 year old and 3.5 year old. They're not cheap but as they are for business are tax deductible. You can loop the ends over your wrists if you still need to push the buggy. Then you have a hand free to hold your sons hand and everybody is happy. (I used to take three 2 year olds out this way so they could all walk)

Your son possibly has a very valid fear of being left behind, given his NF, so whilst he is young why not just let him still hold your hand, soon enough he will want to never hold it again so cherish the moments you have.