urgent advice needed please

[dianemellors]

hi i am in dier need of advice
i currently have 4 children *****mind after and having issues with 2 of them
1 comes to me smelling of draw, holes in clothes and dirty clothes, nappy rash and smells
another this wk has came in the same dirty socks all wk since monday also smells and is very very over weight
has a rash all over his body and has had the rash for several wks i have told his mum and raised concerns with her to which she said im putting vasaline on
his bum is red rore to the point its bleeding
i really dont know what to do
i have rasied concerns with both the childrens parents but nothing has happened
these 2 children come from different familys and not related so i really dont know what to do
the other 2 children i have i dont have any concerns with
who do i contact without the parents knowing its me as i dont want any trouble
im really lost as to what to do on both these children

[sandy64]

hi you sound like your really having probs hun i would arrange a meeting for both parents seperate and have a good chat again put all your issue very nicely but firmly to them tell them vaseline not working and looks like a trip to docs is needed then add hygiene etc not gunna be easy but if you are really really concerned its neglect and youve been noting in book you will have evidence/details ring child protection for advice im sorry i cant suggest anythink else you see lo daily and know the situation if its not getting better you have a duty to those children

[sfox2003]

Someone will probably come along with better advise than me but I think youve done the right thing seeking advise about it. These 2 poor children. They did not ask to be brought into this world, the very least their parents can do is keep them clean & dressed properly.

I would speak confidentially to either my DO or my childminding co ordinator. It could be that you are going to have to make a referral for these two families.

Its a scary thing to do, but you have to think of the children.

Oh and start to write a daily diary for each of these childrens physical & emotional state & keep it locked away. I would then pop a sticker (any sticker will do) on their files just so that you know that there is confidential information locked away about that particular child.

Good Luck, remember, by seeking advise you are doing the right thing. If this is how they send their children to you, then imagine what you cant see ie the childs bedroom/bed, kitchen etc. Safeguarding the child has to be a priority. It does not appear that their parents are meeting their childrens basic welfare requirements & that is serious.

[dianemellors]

the little girls parents dont seam to care i have raised issues that her clothes are too small and ripped etc they just blame each other for dresing her, she chucks food all over the place again iv raised this issue and all i got was oh yeh she does that at home i havent mentioned the fact i can smell drugs on her but i have left pushchair outside and told them it has a funny smell so left it out there to freshen up
the little boy i have txted the mum and spoke to her and she says yeh i need to get him doctors but he int getting any better this has been going on for several wks
he wasnt very well for 2 wks and i said untill he is better i cant have him at my setting 2 days later she brought him with mediciene but the very next day said she forgot it but he will be fine

i dont want the parents to know its me reporting them as it could cause problems for myself with looking after them but its not fair on the children
im so stuck :-(

[gigglinggoblin]

Do you have a development worker / network coordinator or anyone else you can get advise from? If you feel you really cant report them then maybe they would do it for you, if they came to 'inspect' you and the children were there and she could smell drugs on the child then I cant see how you could stop her doing it. I know what you mean about it being a difficult situation and losing their trust but at the end of the day you have a duty towards the children.

[sfox2003]

You need to consider the children, which I know you already are doing. A referral may loose you business, however is it moral not to refer on that basis?

Your referral can be anonymous anyway. They will take your details but no one will tell the parents it was yourself who made the referral.

[Bridey]

I'm wondering, does anyone know - are we able to contact health visitors under these sort of circumstances?

[dianemellors]

iv just phoned up the csc and awaiting a call back
its embarrssing going out with the children too when they smell so bad and look un cared for
puts a bad look on me
i have thought about buying cheap clothes from primark for the children to wear at my house but it shouldnt be up to me
i have 2 children of my own and ok i know children get dirty but the same pair of socks all wk?
thank you all for the advice

[Goatgirl]

Hi Diane,
If you have a development worker give her a ring about the situation. If she's no help, do you have details for a health visitor for each child? This information should be in their records that you hold. You can talk to a health visitor about a child and family without mentioning names and they may give some good advice about approaching the issues more effectively. Or A health visitor may be able to talk to the parents about the issues without it needing to go any further... if not, you can go straight to social services with your concerns and I believe this should be kept in confidence by them.

Do you have a safeguarding policy? and a sharing information policy? If not i'd get these written up and let parents know that if you have concerns you are obliged to pass on the information. That alone may shake them into action .

I agree that you need to be writing down your concerns each day that you have the children. I'd also write down conversations you have with parents about the issues and ask them to sign that you've had each conversation. I know its hard, but you are the responsible adult in these children's lives at the moment and you need to find a way to reach the parents or refer them on to someone else who is more confident. They need you.

Have you suggested other treatments apart from vaseline for the sore bottom? I've heard that meconium works well.. If Mum is really not responsive you can just say you're unable to accept the child until she has had the doctor check the child over and got some treatment. Just say you need to have certain things done for your insurance to be valid . Time to get tough

Good luck, hope it gets sorted out quickly

best wishes,
Wendy

[Goatgirl]

iv just phoned up the csc and awaiting a call back
its embarrssing going out with the children too when they smell so bad and look un cared for
puts a bad look on me
i have thought about buying cheap clothes from primark for the children to wear at my house but it shouldnt be up to me
i have 2 children of my own and ok i know children get dirty but the same pair of socks all wk?
thank you all for the advice

Hi, didn't see this before i posted my reply. Good on you for taking action, definitely the right thing to do. Hopefully it will be sorted soon. keep us posted

best wishes,
Wendy

[Louise0208]

I'm wondering, does anyone know - are we able to contact health visitors under these sort of circumstances?

i did 7/8 years back for the exact same reasons....but this was before all the safeguarding children was put in place.

The HV did a on the spot home visit 'just to see how things were' and ahe saw for herself how bad things were & put the wheels in motion.....my name was never mentioned.

unsure if it could be done now

[dianemellors]

its not fair on the children to be dropped off to me looking like they do and i have said oh did u know he was soaking when he got here so i took off his trousers and dried them etc or if i was u i would get in the doctors today tell them its urgent and she says yeh yeh i might!!
with the little girl i do think the drugs is a problem the house stinks when i pick her up and theres older children there too
after dropping hints and advising parents nothings been done so i guess the next step is contacting someone
its so hard but i would hate myself even more if i turned a blind eye and something serious every happened
im very new at childminding so unsure on what i can / cant say and do etc
i do have a massive poster up saying if i ever feel like a chid is being negleted etc i will phone for advice / action

[The Juggler]

oh hon. def. take advice from your do. For the child with a rash I would tell the parents you refuse to have him until his rash is diagnosed, at least that way they might get it seen just so they can continue to bring him.

[blue bear]

Could you not get written authority to speak to health visitor and or doctor, you could as you feel desperate offer to take child to doctors for mum? I know it's above and beyond but as you are so worried it might be the way to get another professional involved.

[acorns]

I may sound a little harsh, but i would have no qualms about reporting these families. They are neglecting their children. You have given them the opportunity to address your concerns & they havent. These people need to be investigated, if they are taking drugs with kids around, the kids are at risk and the families should be dealt with accordingly by csc. Your doing the right thing in referring them.

[dianemellors]

thank u everyone
iv called from a phone box and anonymously reported them
that way it dont come back on me
im just worried that they will find out
fingers crossed now see what happens next wk as havent got the little boy till monday or the girl till tuesday

[MaryMary]

I hope they act on it, poor little mights These parents obviously need the wake up call and a big kiss up the !!

Good luck, and don't forget to keep us posted

[caz3007]

I hope SS act on your call, its sounds like the parents need a little help and guidance to put them on the right track and take better care of the children.

It must be hard for you have two different families at the same time to deal with in this way

[dianemellors]

its very difficult
the other children i have are really clean and u can see they are well looked after so its very hard to act on this but as i keep telling myself i would hate myself if i didnt act and something bad happened
ill see what state they turn up next wk

[Baildon bears]

I flagged a child a couple of years ago I was worried about, you don't have to give your name, I gave up mindee for personal reasons in end but felt really bad as I was mindees only stabilaty but had to think of my own children. Mindee is now under ss and getting help. Sometimes this job is more like being a social worker than a childminder but we all have a duty of care, your very unlucky getting two children wit probs. Hope it all works out for you. But do remember that sometimes you need to support the parent as much as the child I found with my situation supporting the parent and giving advice and being someone to listen helped the child and gave the parent more confidence, its quick to accuss but sometime you have to look at the whole picture to see the cause.