Childminders using a Childminder

**rickysmiths** · 05-01-2011, 09:29 PM

I have seen this on a couple of threads today.

I am really interested because for me the whole point of becoming a Cm was so I could be at home with my children. To pay for childcare for the two of them would have wiped out all my disposable income as a Catering Manager back in the early nineties.

I registered and took on one child 5 days a week from 1pm to 5pm term time only. This meant I had the mornings with my children and was able to go to their toddler groups etc. They then went to Playgroup at 2yrs 9mths and gradually progressed through school.

I was able to earn enough to pay for us to go on holiday in the summer, buy presents through the year, pay for outings and Christmas. As the children got older I took on a couple of full time babies plus before and after schoolers so my income increased. I guess I was lucky that we were able to do this, we did live in a 3 bed flat until 7 years ago, which I had owned for 20 yrs when we moved so we had a relatively small mortgage. I now work 55 hours a week 47 weeks a year and earn nearly as much as my teacher husband!

My dd was 18yrs yesterday. She commented when she was at home having done her GCSEs a couple of years ago, how glad she was that I was at home and how horrible it would have been if she had been at home on her own during her study leave. That made the whole process worthwhile for me and I knew I had made the right choice.

Both my children have become independent, confident children, I should say adults now they are 18 and 16 I'm sure the are all the better for me being around.

How many of you send your own children to cms os day nursery and why?

**mummyofone** · 05-01-2011, 09:37 PM

Like you i became a childminder to be with my son. When my son turned 2 and was potty trained, he started a Playgroup 2 mornings a week, will be 3 mornings a week from september, i personally feel that it will help him be more confident when starting school. He has learnt how to be around 20+ children at a time instead of me and two others.

Everyone has their own opinions but i feel that i am making the right choice for my son as he loves it there and it gives him some time out, as i live on a small island the majority of the children he goes to playgroup with will also be attending the same school as him, so he will already have made friends

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 05-01-2011, 09:44 PM

Our children are around the same age group (mine are 19 and 15) and I sent both of them to nursery in the morning as it allowed them to integrate with children that they would go to school with

I would never put them with a nursery full time or consider a childminder as I am home

**curlycathy** · 05-01-2011, 09:45 PM

When my ds was born (now 11!!) I had no choice but to work full time and I hated leaving him although I was "lucky" in that I enjoyed my job iyswim. He went to a childminder and then later on a combination of nursery and childminder before he started pre-school full time. I don't think it did him any harm - he's very confident and outgoing (much more than dh and myself and his sister) and is top of the class for everything!

By the time dd was born (3) because of losing my little boy (should be 5) I knew I did not want to go back out to work. Ds was used to me being around from compassionate leave and then maternity leave which turned into sick leave so had over a year off anyway, and I didnt want to leave dd. Although - sorry I really am rambling

- I did use a local nursery for her for one and half days a week during that time due to my illness cos I needed a break and because I needed an operation and there was no-one who would have been able to look after them so needed her to be used to going there beforehand.

I do think its better for my children me being at home - although dd is noticeably shyer and I'm hoping pre-school helps with that cos I think she does need some time away from me too (she doesnt go full time, only a few hours).

Having said that - some people have no choice and shouldnt feel guilty about it at all. Providing food, housing and clothing are pretty essential and if people have to work, they have to work. One of my friends used to cm part time and had another job - she sent her ds to our other cm friend. She needed to keep this job as it was more secure than cm alone - don't think it did her ds any harm either!(cos my friend is such a fab cm lol!!)

**bandlady** · 05-01-2011, 09:58 PM

I too became a childminder to stay at home with my own children and to this day know that I made the right choice for myself, hubby and children. My children are now 25,24,18 and 16. Yes there were times when the house didn't quite feel like a family home but always being there for my children was very important to me. Even now they know I am at home and the older two having left home will still pop in during the day if passing to have a cup of tea and a chat (and to play with the children that are here)

My children all attended the local preschool from the age of 3 and then went onto the local school. To this day I still take children to the preschool and school and believe that children need to interact with their peers outside of the family or childminders home. A childminder cannot provide the interaction that a child needs amongst their own aged peers and whilst I strongly believe that I wouldn't have sent my children to another childminder I do believe that a preschool is a very valuable part of a childs development.

Denise

**mufftie** · 05-01-2011, 10:05 PM

my children are 19 , 17 , 14 , 11 and 6
my 17 yr old 11 yr old went to nursery full time due to me going 'out' to work i then chose to become a childminder as i couldnt really afford the fees , back then there was not tc's
but i really wanted my 6 yold to have the same experience of the nursery like her siblings did so when tc's said thay would pay i put her in 3 full days a week from 3 months and she thrived i personally think its good for them and certainly was for me , she was a very demanding baby and younger child

i dont regret my decision at all infact i think i would regret it more if they had of been with me 24/7 my 17 yr old dosnt even recall being 'left ' at nursery and the others still talk about their friends now

my children are my world i had them very young (16) and i stand by every inch of the way ive brought them up ,they are all children to be very proud of my son infact made me extremely proud when he joined the marines but unfortunately was injured

so i dont feel that leaving them in 'childcare' harms them in any way shape or form

**snufflepuff** · 05-01-2011, 10:19 PM

My main reason for becoming a CM was to be able to keep my son at home with me. (Plus it seemed an obvious choice having always worked in childcare)

I'm a bit of a wuss and can never bear to leave him. He is 22 months and I still worry leaving him with his grandparents for the evening!

I do think he would benefit from some time away from me though, and now that he seems to be past the stage where I just know he would be hysterical if I left him anywhere new, I have begun to think about sending him to nursery. I think perhaps when is is about 2.5.

Saying that though, I don't think i'd ever consider a CM. It doesn't make sense to me, for a CM to send their child to a CM- I cant really explain why. Each to their own of course, i'm not saying there is anything wrong with it.

**manjay** · 05-01-2011, 10:23 PM

My views on this have very definitely changed over the last few years. My oldest two who are 18 and 11 both went full time to a childminder as I went out of the house to work. I gave up my job when I had my ds who is 4 and have been childminding for just over 3 years. When I first started this journey I wouldn't have seen any problem in sending a child to another minder for a day to let him "socialise". He didn't which I am relieved about now after again doing huge amounts of research into child development and in particular attachment relationships. From the research I have undertaken I now firmly believe that where possible (and I know it is not always) a child benefits from being at home with a primary carer until they reach the age of about 3.

This is my opinion as always but I have come to this opinion researching lots of studies on children in daycare.

Looking at it from another way it just wouldn't sit right with me as a mother to be at home all day and yet send my preschooler to someone else to look after!

**Twinkles** · 05-01-2011, 10:46 PM

I was a stay at home mum when my older three were very small and became a childminder just as I had baby number 4.

With all my children I was very reluctant to send them even to pre school. I did send them, but only the minimum allowed by the pre school which was two mornings.
We were far too busy having fun at home or meeting up with friends.

I guess I could have been seen as selfish but I just wanted as much time as possible with my babies.

Penny1959 · 06-01-2011, 04:41 AM

Well - here's another view point.

I sent my youngest child who was 2 at the time to another childminder for 2 short sessions a week even though I was a registered childminder at the time.

My reason was that this DD was the youngest of 4 and lacked confidence to speak up for her self - her sisters used to 'speak on her behalf'. She also would not leave my side when we went to toddler groups - again lack of confidence and maybe also because her sisters not there.

So when a close childminding friend took on a little girl the same age as my DD I asked her if DD could go for a couple of sessions to help her gain confidence - away from me and her sisters. It worked very well - the two girls became friends and this resulted in play dates at other childs house and at ours as well as the time they had together at the childminders.

Continued with the childminding arrangement for 6 months by which time DD had gained enough confidence to speak for herself (I remember the first time she told a sister that she could ask mummy herself for a drink).

The two girls remained best friends for years until they left primary school.

I think that we often 'have set ideas' and then something happens that causes as to re look at a situation and maybe change our view. With my other 3 DD's I would not have used a childminder as that is why I stayed at home and became a childminder - but with DD 4 I needed to re think my views in order to support her development.

Penny

**singingcactus** · 06-01-2011, 07:50 AM

I started childminding ages before my kids were born, it wasn't to stay home with my kids it was just what I wanted to do. I think kids can get a lot from attending another childminding setting, I run a childminding setting and I know the kids here get a lot from it. Even kids who's parents are childminders sometimes like to get a break from their own parents, to get the chance to experience life from a different point of view, to play with different resources etc.
Yes I do believe that parents should be the primary care giver, but once a child gets to a certain age for some children it is beneficial to get the experiences I mentioned and more.
I am one of those breast feeding, baby carrying, attachment parent kind of mums, but I do believe that to shrink a child's world to one person may not always be what is best for the child. I think that most people on here who use a childminder do it for these kinds of reasons.

**kindredspirits** · 06-01-2011, 09:42 AM

i began childminding so i could earn money and have my son at home - he was about 15 months old when i started. I have never put him in any other childcare and am going to home school him - so no i can't imagine putting my son into childcare, BUT he doesn't have any issues with confidence etc so i feel he'd get no benefit out of it tbh.

**clio0602** · 06-01-2011, 09:57 AM

My dd 2yrs went to a 12 place day nursery while I was working. She loves going so stil goes 1 or 2 days now i'm minding. She has her own little friends she talks about and has a great relationship with all the 5 staff. Also in the school holidays I am able to take ds nearly 10 for a day out without his little sis and do things she can't do. Aswel as having days out all together. Works well for all of us x

**Mouse** · 06-01-2011, 10:13 AM

Originally Posted by rickysmiths

I have seen this on a couple of threads today.

I am really interested because for me the whole point of becoming a Cm was so I could be at home with my children.

But you sent them to playgroup. To me that's no different to sending them to a childminder. They don't have to go to playgroup, so you were choosing to put them in childcare while you were at home childminding.

I became a cm when I had my 3rd child. the cost of childcare prevented me from going back to work, so I left & registered as a cm. I was working part time & the older 2 went to a nursery. I didn't particularly do it so that I would be at home with my children. I became a cm as I couldn't have been a stay at home mum (no offence to anyone who is, it just wouldn't suit me) and wanted to work. Chilminding was ideal for me as I was working, but not having to pay out for childcare.

My eldest started school just after I'd registered & the second one carried on at nursery 2 days a week as he loved it & I didn't want to take him away from his friends. The third eventually went to playgroup when he was 2.5yrs old. The fourth started at playgroup at a similar age, but hated it, so went to a cm friend instead for 1.5 days a week. He liked that he was doing something just for him and it got him used to being away from me. My fifth then went to playgroup when old enough.

**marnieb** · 06-01-2011, 10:15 AM

My dd is almost 22 months, and I've put her down for the local pre-school from September she'll be going 2 mornings a week.

Why?? I never sent ds to pre-school as I was working as a nanny and always had him with me, but I did feel that he missed out as a lot of the kids already knew each other at school nursery, and i think dd will benefit from that.

And as a result of me always being here for dd - we've had 1 night out since she was born! - she it ultra super clingly, and always greets me like I've been at the North pole for 6 months instead of going to make a cup of tea!

**MaryMary** · 06-01-2011, 12:45 PM

My children are 18,15 & 12.
I went back to work full time when my daughters (18&15) were 4-5 months old because I had to (financial) and that was the maximum maternity leave at the time (18 weeks). My eldest went to cm, the younger one went to day nursery (with eldest).
When I had my son (12) my situation was slightly different (husband no.2!) and I went back to work 3 days a week when he was 7 months old. I continued working part time until I took redundancy 6 years ago.
I enjoyed being a stay at home mum for the first time in my life

but also realised that redundancy pay doesn't last forever! After tring a few other things, & getting a bit broody when my nephew was born, I decided to try childminding! I enjoy it 'cos I am home when my kids finish school, I can contribute to the family finances & it is challenging, varied & rewarding

It also means i can now go to toddler groups - which i missed first time round!!

A cm friend of mine who is a single mum of 2, has her LO with a different cm. This means that she is not using up a space for her own business & therefore earn more, but can claim tax credits to help pay for her own childcare. It works for her

I find it hypocritical to suggest that a child cannot thrive without being at home with 'mum', but still offer childcare to other people! It is like saying 'I wouldn't do it, but if you have to i can look after your child' IYSWIM
I think we offer a good service, and children thrive!

**little chickee** · 06-01-2011, 01:11 PM

I think there is a difference between sending your child to a cm and putting them to playgroup or nursery.

I put all of my 3 boys to playgroup which they started at 3yo. 3 afternoons a week (2 1/2 hrs a day) and then preschool at 4yo ( still 2 1/2 hrs a day) for 5 mornings.

This was to socalise and prepare for going to school.

the big difference for me is that a. it was free
b. it was only for a few hours
c. the playgroup is within the school so got my boys used to the school setting.

But each to their own whatever suits you and your family is the right choice.

**Blaze** · 06-01-2011, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by MaryMary

My children are 18,15 & 12.
I went back to work full time when my daughters (18&15) were 4-5 months old because I had to (financial) and that was the maximum maternity leave at the time (18 weeks). My eldest went to cm, the younger one went to day nursery (with eldest).
When I had my son (12) my situation was slightly different (husband no.2!) and I went back to work 3 days a week when he was 7 months old. I continued working part time until I took redundancy 6 years ago.
I enjoyed being a stay at home mum for the first time in my life

but also realised that redundancy pay doesn't last forever! After tring a few other things, & getting a bit broody when my nephew was born, I decided to try childminding! I enjoy it 'cos I am home when my kids finish school, I can contribute to the family finances & it is challenging, varied & rewarding

It also means i can now go to toddler groups - which i missed first time round!!

A cm friend of mine who is a single mum of 2, has her LO with a different cm. This means that she is not using up a space for her own business & therefore earn more, but can claim tax credits to help pay for her own childcare. It works for her

I find it hypocritical to suggest that a child cannot thrive without being at home with 'mum', but still offer childcare to other people! It is like saying 'I wouldn't do it, but if you have to i can look after your child' IYSWIM
I think we offer a good service, and children thrive!

Even if her child is at other child care as it's her own child they are still counted in her numbers, so she is not gaining a space by sending her own to another CMer - she is over her numbers technically & her insurance is invalid!!!

**snufflepuff** · 06-01-2011, 02:31 PM

Even if her child is at other child care as it's her own child they are still counted in her numbers, so she is not gaining a space by sending her own to another CMer - she is over her numbers technically & her insurance is invalid!!!

I was just about to say this. I also think this is a bit unfair- how did she chose which child to keep and which to send to another CM?! I could never do it.

**rickysmiths** · 06-01-2011, 02:41 PM

Originally Posted by MaryMary

My children are 18,15 & 12.
I went back to work full time when my daughters (18&15) were 4-5 months old because I had to (financial) and that was the maximum maternity leave at the time (18 weeks). My eldest went to cm, the younger one went to day nursery (with eldest).
When I had my son (12) my situation was slightly different (husband no.2!) and I went back to work 3 days a week when he was 7 months old. I continued working part time until I took redundancy 6 years ago.
I enjoyed being a stay at home mum for the first time in my life

but also realised that redundancy pay doesn't last forever! After tring a few other things, & getting a bit broody when my nephew was born, I decided to try childminding! I enjoy it 'cos I am home when my kids finish school, I can contribute to the family finances & it is challenging, varied & rewarding

It also means i can now go to toddler groups - which i missed first time round!!

A cm friend of mine who is a single mum of 2, has her LO with a different cm. This means that she is not using up a space for her own business & therefore earn more, but can claim tax credits to help pay for her own childcare. It works for her

I find it hypocritical to suggest that a child cannot thrive without being at home with 'mum', but still offer childcare to other people! It is like saying 'I wouldn't do it, but if you have to i can look after your child' IYSWIM
I think we offer a good service, and children thrive!

I didn't think I had said this at all. I just said I was glad I could be at home with my two and that they turned out fine. The reason I posed this question was there seemed to be some who were afraid that their childen would be missing out on something if they were at home all day with mum/dad and the minded children. I was trying to say that these children wouldn't loose out.
I offer a good service and the children I care for thrive in my care and I am glad I can offer and enjoy the work I do. I used a wonderful childminder for my daughter when I went back to work (before I was a cm) when she was 6 months old. 18yrs on we are still in contact with her.