what would you do with this lil one? (just over 1yo)

**newandlearning** · 04-11-2010, 01:42 PM

Hi all...

I've had a new 13 month old with me since August and she has settled a lot more than a few weeks ago and the mum is a lot less needy of my support with the transition as well... but..

This mindee rarely interacts with me or the other kids.. if I talk she never smiles.. she never seeks me... she is a fussy eater and doesn't eat anything unless its junky... she only sleeps in buggy or car and she rather eats, eats and regurgitates or chucks food all over the floor... she won't take any food from me at all so if she doesn't feed herself she doesn't eat. its a real mess at meal and snack time.

Has anyone any idea why this lil girl doesn't seem to want to bond at all.. could it be that's just how she is... its really difficult when you smile and speak in a friendly manner and always get a blank look back...

Is this all developmental or is it just because she has just spent every hour of the day with mum and its just gonna take time for her to get to know me?

really feel a little unsure sometimes

**breezy** · 04-11-2010, 05:31 PM

Its hard to tell, could be shes just settling down and testing you! Whats her behaviour like at home?
Have you tried being tough? I think I might try the no nonsense approach of If you do that with your food I'm taking your food away from you and after one warning take it away! What does she do if you dont interact as much? My thinking being she'd have to come to you. I have a 3 year old who is completetly mollycoddled at home and gets away with everything and the no nonsense approach got him eating and interacting.
Its only an idea as I'm not that sure with her being younger,hopefully others might have some suggestions!

**Trouble** · 04-11-2010, 06:46 PM

i agree with breezy

**breezy** · 04-11-2010, 07:53 PM

Originally Posted by Trouble

i agree with breezy

OMG, if only everyone would !!!!!!!!

**Rowlie** · 04-11-2010, 08:24 PM

Hi i havent been on here for a long time and im just catching up when i see your post. Last year i also had this problem with a 14 month old, so what i did was put her in the high chair and just gave her the food on the tray (washed down of course) and left her to feed her self in the end she got it, yes it was messy but it was worth all the mess in the long run.
You also said about she is unwilling to bond with you this will take time dont push it she will come to you just have them arms open when she does.
Good luck x

***donnalouise*** · 04-11-2010, 09:18 PM

I have my own DD aged 14 months. Started childminding sept, but previous to this did go back to work for 6 LOOONG weeks!

My daughter went to her grandma's for this (who normally she only see's for about an hour or so on a sat) and she was just like this!!!

Ive certainly not 'molllycoddled' her - treat her just like my eldest (who had no prob being left with others), so i really dont know why she is like this! She will only interact properly with people very close to her - me, dad, sister, nan and scowls or just looks completly blank at strangers who babble to her! I have to say tho, she is a breastfed baby - and still is, much to my dismay and has spent pretty much 100% of her time with me - other than my period of work... so there may be the reason!

I dont know why i've posted this, as its really of no use to you - just wanted to say your not alone! I think time can only help, and im sure you will get there eventually with her!

**blue bear** · 05-11-2010, 04:05 PM

make sure you keep all this info as observations, chances are she will settle and you'll bond over time, but it could be developmental, my child after starting senior school has been picked out as having many autistic tendancies, some of what you say rings bells. Your observations will help later in painting a picture of LO's early development if a problem is identified at a later date.