How can I toughen Up?

[phoebe-alice]

Hi there guys ,

Just sat here reading some of the general posts and see how differently things are run than me, I am such a push over its horrible.

Its like I feel cruel for charging too much or adding on extra charges, I charge £3.50 per child all the times whether it be early late or overtime. And charge £3.00 if theres more than one child. Don't charge for sick days or holidays, I just feel as if I need to toughen up.

And I always find myself getting walked over whether it be parents bringing their child early every day, late fees, fees not being paid at all!

Some lady just disappeared off the side of the earth with over £500 unpaid when I just started, and still thinking whether I should go to court!

I thought with the new mindees it would be better as I could nip anything in the bud, but it just seems to be the same cycle again with mum bringing the kids anything up to half an hour early, and not paying weekly as she said she would, and I'm left for pick ups and drop offs for free as she refused to pay extra for petrol or meals. Some days I just don't feel like getting up the children are lovely and get on great but I just find myself thinking somebody is having a laugh.

Am I the only one in this predicament? Need tips are help urgently hehe, before I have no hair left!

Phoebe x x

[jumpinjen]

Ah honey, big hugs!!

Write a letter stating how you will be operating from now on.

Say that you run a business and that as per contract children must be brought at contracted times and collected at contracted times. Say that you will not be opening the door until start time in the mornings. leave your front curtains closed and stick to it. Once they have waited outside for a couple of days they will get the hint.

Say that if they require contracted hours to change due to their work patterns then they can book a contract review with you to agree hours and charges.

Then say anything else you need to say about late payment, etc etc.

Attach any relevant policies about late pick up fees, chrages and fees etc.

Write out a sheet of fees and charges. As a very simple way to operate if you are available to work then you are paid, including sick days of child and parent holidays..... is this in your contract with parents?? If so then enforce it from now. If not then add it at next contract review (roughly every six months for most contracts unless hours change and it is reviewed earlier).

If minder not availbale to work through minder holidays and sickness then parents not charged.

Be brave, give them to parents as they drop off and give a start date for the enforcement.... Monday morning would be good if you have time to write it today!!

Good luck, Jen x

[jumpinjen]

Oh, and don't offer discounts if you don't want to..... 50p is a huge hourly discount... think that if they were from two separate families there would be 50p an hour more!

jen x

[Ripeberry]

Sorry you are having such a hard time with them. Do you have an 'unsocial hours' fee that you can add when they come before the contracted time?
Do you add a fee on top of what is owed when it is late?

If not, it may be a good idea to do a newsletter to say that all fees must be paid on time from X date and a later payment charge will be added.

Also maybe from the new year advise everyone that ALL fees must be paid in advance without exception.

If they leave then you will know that they were hoping that you would be a pushover or did not think you would pursue them.

It's your business, your rules

[little chickee]

When i first started minding nearly 3 years ok i was just the same as you. I think i was so desparate to get and then keep my mindees that i would back down over lots of things.

I would do things like going to collect a child rather than parent having to drop off - backing down on fees etc.

I was so fed up and driving my hubby mad moaning about it all the time so i decided to toughen up - my rules and policies are there for a reason and if a parent doesnt want to adhere to them i would rather they leave than me get upset about it all the time.

You seem to have quite a few issues with this parent you are still new and learning the ropes but if you dont get these issues ironed out you will end up all stressed.

NO late arrivals - do not answer the door
NO late pick ups without good cause and prior warning.
Please start charging for holidays and sick days otherwise you are losing money that you are entitled to.
If she will not pay extra for food she needs to supply a packed lunch.
Before 8am and after 6pm i am double time - you could maybe go with time and a half if this is too big a jump
If payment is late £5 extra per day
ETC etc.

Your customers need to realise that you are running a business - its not a hobby. Act professional and you will be treated professionally.

Please ask for any help and support you need and good luck - you will feel better for it.

[phoebe-alice]

Thanks for all your replies they have made me feel a bit better about things. Just having a bad day where everything is coming into light I guess, I'm sure we all have them.

But now I have some new fresh ideas that I can put into play, I just hope that they will go okay and the parent will accept the new measures. If not I guess there are plenty more children in need of care, as the parents I have at the minute will do anything to avoid rules and extra charges. If not I'll have a clean slate to start all over again, and get it right!

Heres hoping hehe, I just need to get more matcho and stop listening to my heart, I'm too mushy believing all these sub stories hehe.

Thanks so all of you for all your answers I will try my best to put them all into use and actually get things up and running properly!

Phoebe x x

[helenlc]

We all have to learn somewhere. I think we all start out with wanting to offer parents a good deal. But sometimes we end up sellign ourselves short because of that.

You have to keep reminding yourself that you are a business and not a charity!!! You can be nice to parents, be generous etc but with boundaries too.

If you feel like you are being walked over, you will lose your confidence and lose your enjoyment of the job. You wil begin to resent the parents and the children and not want to continue.

Remember, you are SELF employed - you can make up the rules any way you want!! You are running your OWN business - so make it your own business.

Just have a think about what things you are happy to continue doing and what things you want to change. Then write a frank but polite letter explaining the changes and what they will mean for the parents.

If they query anything or say they dont like anything, then just say "I am sorry about that but this is how it is going to be". Dont budge or give in on anything or else you will end up resenting any allowances you have made too.

Good luck and stay strong!!!

[The Juggler]

glad you are feeling better. good advice given. A newsletter with attached, revised fees policy including additional and higher rate charges is a good idea. Plus be explicit and tell them you won't answer door to early drop offs unless by prior arrangement the night before.

[Tina O]

Stand up for yourself, you CAN do it!

as they say....."...because your worth it!!!!!"....

[funemnx]

I always find that the phrase "in keeping with current childminding practice" in any letters I write with changes I make covers all (and makes it look like I have no choice!) lol! I'm a coward really

[little chickee]

I always find that the phrase "in keeping with current childminding practice" in any letters I write with changes I make covers all (and makes it look like I have no choice!) lol! I'm a coward really

I like that - going to steal it!

[singlewiththree]

I had to toughen up yesterday, I hadn't taken a deposit for a family of 3 children and day 1 came and went, day 2 and I put an invoice in the bag, day 3 child dropped off and a txt from parent 10 minutes later saying she had been to bank and can she pay me at the end of the month!!!!!

I decided I was going to have to get tough as it's only the first week! and send her a txt back saying that I needed the money today and next weeks money on monday. She paid it but was in a foul mood when she picked the kids up.

It is hard to do but doesn't half feel good when they pay up!

[phoebe-alice]

I had to toughen up yesterday, I hadn't taken a deposit for a family of 3 children and day 1 came and went, day 2 and I put an invoice in the bag, day 3 child dropped off and a txt from parent 10 minutes later saying she had been to bank and can she pay me at the end of the month!!!!!

I decided I was going to have to get tough as it's only the first week! and send her a txt back saying that I needed the money today and next weeks money on monday. She paid it but was in a foul mood when she picked the kids up.

It is hard to do but doesn't half feel good when they pay up!

Yeah I know exactly what you mean I had a parent drop off her 2 wee girls yesterday and she had counted out £250.00 right infront of my face and left it sat next to her on the sofa, so I went on and signed of the chunk of fees she had paid. Yet when she left I recounted the money and there was only £200 there, I phoned her and asked if she had picked it up by mistake as I could not find it. And she said no she had checked in her bag, cout and purse and nothing there, so I literally tore apart the play room to make sure if was not there. The next thing I phone and say I have doubts when it turns up in her pocket... when she came to collect the girls I was pleased to get the money and a bottle of wine from her for some reason. Think it was the worry that I'd end the contract if it was not found, as I can't afford to lose money at the minute!
The worst day possible I tell you, it was only £50 quid but thats alot when you need it hehe, next time I'll count it a second time for myself!
Phoebe x x

[Tina O]

I always recount any money parents give me while they stand there even if they have just counted it out, then fill out the reciept.