4 weeks settling in but how long do you give it

**singlewiththree** · 09-09-2010, 11:15 AM

I started with a new family yesterday 9,6,2, the youngest aged 2 was a nightmare but I feel it is tired issues as she has huge bags under her eyes and is also idolised by her siblings. The 2yr old scratched my other mindees face and drew blood, she scratched and hit my own children several times. So much that my 4yr old has started called her "the hitter" as she can't remember her name as she has only just started and saying she really doesn't want her to come today.

Now in past experience children take a while to show their true colours so if she is like this now how bad is she going to get??? and how long do I give it???

I'm skint, If I give notice I have 1 child only 1 day a week. I have an enquiry coming for January today and an enquiry coming tomorrow to start October ( the little baby). If I took the baby on it wouldn't cover the cost of the 3 siblings but I couldn't trust this 2yr old with a baby that young here as well.

what do you think?

**charliegee** · 09-09-2010, 11:31 AM

Ah hun it's really difficult....can you extend the settling in period at all to see how things develop?

x

bexcee · 09-09-2010, 01:19 PM

A difficult one, as you say most children take a while to settle and show their true colours but to be like this on the first day is worrying. Speak to mum and ask what their behaviour is like, maybe they were just playing up cos they were overtired, showing off, being egged on by older siblings?

See how it goes and take it from there, hopefully they will settle down and learn what is acceptable in your house.

**jadylasa** · 09-09-2010, 01:25 PM

Some children act up in new senarios, they MAY calm down once it becomes rutine, but 4 weeks is a long time in a child's life, so if it's still a problem after the settling in period, i'd say this is the way they are, and given your situation (never mind the baby, your own child clearly isn't happy) i'd seriously consider cutting and running! Your family's happiness is worth more than the money to be made by this family. good luck, and big hugs. xxxx

**kindredspirits** · 09-09-2010, 01:42 PM

Ask mum to cut her nails v. short to stop the scratching. Have a set time out place - even a travel cot in the hall or something and come down hard and firm. at 2 they can learn to behave in one place even if its not enforced at home. If she even goes to hit someone hold her hand and say, 'no hitting' and then pop her in the travel cot for 2 mins

**doodles** · 09-09-2010, 05:09 PM

I had a 3yr old boy start with me 6 weeks ago. The first week was a nightmare!! He punched another boy at soft play. In town on day 3 with him and we bumped in to his mums friend. She told me he was expelled from nursery for hitting and kicking..!!!!!
I gave it another few weeks to see how things went and he is now one of the most lovely, well behaved, affectionate little boys ive ever met!
Give it time for her to settle in and get used to your rules and routines then make your desicion. hth x

**singlewiththree** · 09-09-2010, 05:13 PM

and would you believe it completely different child today, an absolute angel!!

**caz3007** · 09-09-2010, 05:26 PM

Originally Posted by singlewiththree

and would you believe it completely different child today, an absolute angel!!

Glad she was better today, she was probably testing you and you said she was tired too, lets hope she continues being good most of the time

**Tina O** · 09-09-2010, 06:58 PM

Originally Posted by singlewiththree

and would you believe it completely different child today, an absolute angel!!

so pleased to hear....

**KarenM** · 09-09-2010, 07:23 PM

I have a lo just about to turn 3 who gets particularly frustrated and aggressive in the afternoon. I drew round his 'gentle hands' and give him a gold sticker to put on them each time he uses his gentle hands rather than his pinching, hitting, scratching hands. Seems to be going ok, but watch this space, lol

**singlewiththree** · 09-09-2010, 07:49 PM

Originally Posted by KarenM

I have a lo just about to turn 3 who gets particularly frustrated and aggressive in the afternoon. I drew round his 'gentle hands' and give him a gold sticker to put on them each time he uses his gentle hands rather than his pinching, hitting, scratching hands. Seems to be going ok, but watch this space, lol

ooo that sounds lovely, I might need that one

**clio0602** · 09-09-2010, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by KarenM

I have a lo just about to turn 3 who gets particularly frustrated and aggressive in the afternoon. I drew round his 'gentle hands' and give him a gold sticker to put on them each time he uses his gentle hands rather than his pinching, hitting, scratching hands. Seems to be going ok, but watch this space, lol

Wow I love this!!! My 2yr old dd has started hitting and pinching

Think she'll love this Great idea !!!!!!