Feel like I wanna cry.....

[katie0183]

I tell you we've had a huge amount of bad luck this year so far and yesterday was no better. I have a parent whom didnt bother to apply last september for a place for her 3 year old to attend the local school which is literally at my door step... instead she left it until april (even though i badgered her) and subsequently couldnt get into the only school locally with a pre-school. Anyway she didnt really want to send her son here (i dont know why) even though it has an outstanding grade for the foundation stage and pre-school. She then put him in Private day nursery for 1/2 day as they had a pre-school room... to say its crap is an understatement... She didnt even know they were charging her for 52 weeks of the year (apparently they didnt tell her) and I had to re-explain to her that i charge 1/2 rates when children are at school as i cannot fill a place like that. Anyway she had put him in 8-1 knowing she'd only get funded 9-12 but couldnt understand why she was getting high bills from both (me and the nursery).
Now shes given notice to the nursery and has now trying him from september at a PRIVATE SCHOOL .... Its a great school i have other children that go there however shes a single parent and although works full time knowing her job could not afford this long term... anyway i worked all the prices out for her as she now only wants me half terms and hols so 1/2 rates in term time full rates hols and she told me yesterday i was too expensive and couldnt afford both and didnt know what to do about half terms and hols. So was going to give me notice. I have since re-worked it out just for holiday time only and it still works out over an average of £400 a month. I've looked after her son for 2 years and i just dont know what shes expecting! she works 9-5 but because she commutes i have him 7.30-6.30... I dont think im being unreasonable and ive bent myself over backwards to look after this child as i love him like my own. However i think shes being unreasonable to her son! Shes going to put him into this school 8-6 and then hope her work will accept her getting there a bit later and finishing earlier... however knowing her i dont think this will happen. I think she'll come phoning me saying she needs to go in early or running late...
I just wanted some advice really as to whether im being unreasonable or she is? After all her son stil likes sleeping in the afternoon although were trying to stop it, but i think knowing her son so well he will struggle with such a big change. I have told her this but just dont understand her reasoning. She always comments how she loves her son coming here etc so i dont think its me however its made me paranoid,...... what you think?

[cuffleygirl]

There is nothing you can do - in your opinion she has made some daft choices for her son, but he is her son, he is not in any danger and there is nothing more you can realistically do other than other to look after him for free! (yeah right)

You have become very attached, peril of the job (we wouldn't be doing it if we didn't care) but he his her son.

[The Juggler]

that is so unfair hon. I could see why she can't afford both but she'd have been best leaving him with you full time until he starts school proper.

I would go with the flow whilst you advertise like mad and then give notice when you find someone else.x

[katie0183]

I know hes not mine but would just wish she'd realise the implications on her son. Hes such a lovely child and has come on leaps and bounds, when he first came over 2 years ago he was a shy little thing.. now hes very confident and happy although still gets shy around strangers (what child wouldnt) I just think sending him to a school where he knows no one for all day is nuts!!! But im not his mum so i cant say much... shes asked my advice, ive given it and shes not taken it and to be honest i think ive been more than fair by giving her just prices for hosl only when normally i have to reserve the place. Does anyone else charge half rates whilst someones at school?

[rickysmiths]

I really feel for you. I had a parent last year after many deliberations about school and she would def apply to the school I walk to, it was her nearest as well. I had cared for lo since 6mth old.

Well in Aug I found out that she had known since the previous March that her lo had got the space she wanted at a school I can't get to. I have no idea when she was going to tell me I suspect at the end of Dec. (lo due to start Jan)

I had the opportunity of a full timer and this one was 2 days so I gave her notice in the August! She did find another minder that goes to the school, she is the only one from this area.

In the event, even though she had been told and told, she thought by getting lo into the Nursery she would get into Reception - well she wasn't offered a place and was offered one at her local school!!!

I heard last week that she had got a place, but what she doesn't know yet is that the childminder she uses is giving up in Dec and there is no one else that goes to the school!!

Some people seem to have a knack of making life difficult for themselves and their los despite asking for info. There is little to seperate the two schools they are both Outstanding.

I wouldn't worry. This Mum has to make her own choices for her lo. It is very hard I know to see them digging a hole for themselves. You have to look forward and fill your vacancy.

Oh I don't know anyone who charges a retainer during Term Time to keep a holiday place.

[FussyElmo]

Take a step back and let mum do what she wants. You have done your best by giving advice but if the parent chooses not to listen then there is nothing you can do.

Accept the parents notice, start advertising and warn mum you can not guarantee a place for her son in the holidays.

[blue bear]

I had a three year year old go into full time private school in January this year, needless to say i was worried sick, she has flourished

In the end it's upto mum. you need to decide if you want to keep a full time place open for a child you only have in the holidays. if you do you need to negotiate what mum needs to pay you to keep it open. (doesn't soulnd like mum can afford that though)

I decided I wouldn't keep the place open but if mum needs childcare she rings and asks, if I can help I do but am not obliged to do so.

[BlondeMoment]

It's heart breaking isn't it when you can see how badly something is going to turn out.
When I worked as a nanny I looked after a 4 year old girl who still napped in the afternoons. She used to go to a gym club one day, a ballet club the next etc etc and when she started school her Mum still had her doing all the same clubs at the after school times! Every day! She was asleep in the car before I got her home every day and was so tired she cried and cried though dinner and getting her reading done was awful. Would her Mum listen that it was too much? Hell no! She just wanted to be keeping up with the rest of the London toffs in her street. RRRAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! LOL

Hard as it is you got to step back and let go. Like everyone is saying there isn't anything you can do about it. This lady is going to have to learn the hard way and unfortunately her son is going to have to go along.

[katie0183]

thanks for all your comments, so glad i posted as just needed someone to make me step back and think.
I gave his mum the choice of adhoc placement as shes basically said shes stuffed over the holidays biut every alternative i give her is apparently too expensive.. we had a long heart to heart it were and im sure its not me Shes just really struggling and trying to balance life and save as shes a single parent.
She told me yesterday that she will giv me notice as soon as the school place is confirmed.
Just sad to see him go, when you've had someone a long time its like losing part of my family.

Thanks ladies x