Problems with sharing?

**snufflepuff** · 26-07-2010, 07:28 PM

I have had a 5 year old mindee for the first full day today. He bought a bag of toys with him, and one of the first things he said was that my son can play with them too. But every time my son went anywhere near them, he snatched them away and said 'thats mine'- so i told him he either shares or they go in his bag. Also, whatever my son wanted to play with, mindee wanted too, and would just take it away from my son. He would say 'J's not sharing'. My son is only one year old, he does not understand sharing. I explained that J is too little to understand sharing so he needs to just be patient, J will soon move on to something else and then it would be his turn. I also told him to remember that the toys all belong to J and its not fair to take them away from him.
I felt so sorry for my son, he hasn't played with anything for any length of time today, and has been upset so many times. He just doesn't understand why all his toys are being taken away from him, poor thing!
Is there anything more i can do? Mindee is here tomorrow and Wednesday too.

**funfunfun** · 26-07-2010, 07:30 PM

I wouldnt let a mindee bring toys from home ..............for the above reasons plus they may misplace them etc etc

stick with the " sharing " my own little boy is a bit of a monkey tbh with the sharing but we are getting there

**PRINCESSDAISYFLOWER** · 26-07-2010, 07:56 PM

I use to have the rule "if you bring toys from home you musy share" but after hearing "ITS MINE" a million times I said no to bringing toys from home.

All my childminding toys are my toys which i happen to be kind enough to share

**sarah707** · 26-07-2010, 08:47 PM

Everything here is mine and I share!

I really don't like children bringing toys from home but sometimes it's the only way parents can get them out of the house.

So we put them away very early in the morning and only special cuddlies etc come out for sleep

**mushpea** · 27-07-2010, 06:06 AM

when they bring toys from home they share, if they dont then ask the parents not to bring them,, I wont put them in the cupboard untill home time anymore as the child is still not sharing their toy , i tell them that all the toys they play with are mine and i share so they should too.,
I did have to laugh the other day though cause the 6yrold brought a toy and wouldnt share it wit my9yrold, I thougt I would see how they deal with this as they are that bit older,, my son asked nicley a couple of times if he could see the toy but the 6yrold said no, so my son left him to it, then when the 6yrold tried to play with any of our toys my son sad No these are our toys and I wont share with you cause you wont share yours, Now maybe I was wrong to leave them and maybe it was a childish thing but they 6yrold soon learnt and quickly shared his toy then they both played really nicley toghether.

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 27-07-2010, 06:08 AM

Originally Posted by mushpea

when they bring toys from home they share, if they dont then ask the parents not to bring them,, I wont put them in the cupboard untill home time anymore as the child is still not sharing their toy , i tell them that all the toys they play with are mine and i share so they should too.,
I did have to laugh the other day though cause the 6yrold brought a toy and wouldnt share it wit my9yrold, I thougt I would see how they deal with this as they are that bit older,, my son asked nicley a couple of times if he could see the toy but the 6yrold said no, so my son left him to it, then when the 6yrold tried to play with any of our toys my son sad No these are our toys and I wont share with you cause you wont share yours, Now maybe I was wrong to leave them and maybe it was a childish thing but they 6yrold soon learnt and quickly shared his toy then they both played really nicley toghether.

I think that is a good lesson to learn - children learn very quickly from other children

**Chatterbox Childcare** · 27-07-2010, 06:09 AM

The only toys that my little ones do not share are their teddys which are put on a shelf or on the bed until bedtime.

If a child brings toys then they share or they go away until they can share or until they go home. I don't stop them bringing toys.

**grindal** · 27-07-2010, 07:13 AM

My midee often used to bring a toy from home - which i would swiftly put in his box until home time! I hate the idea of losing their toys, and there are too many children putting toys away in too many boxes to be able to keep track of other peoples toys

onceinabluemoon · 27-07-2010, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by snufflepuff

He would say 'J's not sharing'. My son is only one year old, he does not understand sharing. I explained that J is too little to understand sharing so he needs to just be patient, J will soon move on to something else and then it would be his turn. I also told him to remember that the toys all belong to J and its not fair to take them away from him.
I felt so sorry for my son, he hasn't played with anything for any length of time today, and has been upset so many times. He just doesn't understand why all his toys are being taken away from him, poor thing!
Is there anything more i can do? Mindee is here tomorrow and Wednesday too.

If all the toys in your setting belong to your one year old baby what provision is there for other children, especially older children such as the 5 year old mindee?

I would recommend getting a box of toys that are for your mindees to play with rather than your own child, ie more age appropriate things. This also helps them to feel valued and as if they have a place in your home.

**Bayard** · 27-07-2010, 09:16 AM

Originally Posted by onceinabluemoon

If all the toys in your setting belong to your one year old baby what provision is there for other children, especially older children such as the 5 year old mindee?

I would recommend getting a box of toys that are for your mindees to play with rather than your own child, ie more age appropriate things. This also helps them to feel valued and as if they have a place in your home.

I think this is a really good idea. It's possibly the reason the 5 year old mindee is bringing toys to your in the first place?

I've been struggling a little trying to encourage my DS to share with others (the 'it's mine stage' is not my favourite!) I've been trying out some games with him and my older DCs where sharing is the theme. I've also been reading him books where sharing is a key theme. There was a great one in an AdventureBox book about a monkey that wins the lottery and decides to share all his money with his zoo animal friends (sorry to spoil the ending!)

Good luck with sorting it out!

**snufflepuff** · 27-07-2010, 10:08 AM

If all the toys in your setting belong to your one year old baby what provision is there for other children, especially older children such as the 5 year old mindee?

I would recommend getting a box of toys that are for your mindees to play with rather than your own child, ie more age appropriate things. This also helps them to feel valued and as if they have a place in your home.

I dont mean that mindees cannot play with anything. Almost all of the toys actually do belong to my son. He has not once had a problem with his toys being played with by other children, its just an issue when they are literally taken from his hands! He doesn't understand why this lad is taking his toys away from him.
There are plenty of toys for older children but the mindee just wanted whatever my son had.