Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS
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  1. #1
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    Default Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    I have been looking after mindee since he was one he will be 3 in May. There is only 3 months difference between mindee and my DS who is younger. I only look after him one day a week as his mum is on maturnity leave. Today was a really hard day with him as he has a really bad problem with sharing and hitting and my DS gets the brunt of it. I went out this morning to a toddler group and he just pushed all the kids out of the way to get to toys and one mum was not pleased. I made him sit with me when he was playing up which he didn't like. As the mum was leaving she said in a really load voice "some children have a problem sharing", and I know he does.

    When he is at my house and playing with my DS all I can hear him saying is "mine" to my DS. It is beginning to grate on me as I say the same thing every week that you have to share etc but it doesn't work. He has an older brother who I looked after on the school run who would push and shove all the time to be "first" and I think he gets it from him.

    Any tips or advice on how to approach this.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    Oh dear this is a really hard phase and some children suffer worse than others.

    The first thing is to be consistent and it sounds as if you are being.

    You mention the brother... a child's home life will have enormous influence and how family and parents react to his needs will shape his reactions so you need to talk to them and find out how they are managing the phase.

    Then it's about giving him some boundaries which will help him to deal with his strong emotions about the toys.

    For example, everything here belongs to Sarah and Sarah shares... so I sit with children and hand things out 'one for you and one for you' and encourage them to do the same.

    if they are playing a game, I try and make sure they have equal numbers of the toys as well.

    I have been using a timer for some things with my little 3 year old and it is helping a bit, but he's still a little young.

    If you just have 2 children, bring one in the kitchen to help you and let them take turns. At least when you are not around they are helping you and not fighting over things while you are not monitoring the situation.

    Hth

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    I had this problem, but it was my ds v's mindee. I only had mindee 1 day a week also and thought that she would fear coming if he carried on. So I decided to focus all our activities on sharing. I emptied the room of toys and focused on one thing at a time with both of them.

    For instance, I set up a tea party and really focused on sharing and every time a postive sharing 'instance' happened I went over board with praise. I would only put one of something out i.e. one spoon for stiring to make sure they had to share.

    I also did things like going out for a walk and only taking one dolly and pushchair, and gave them 1 minute each for pushing then they had to swap. Again with major cringe worthy praise.

    I still do the over the top praise with sharing and kindness now, because the roles have changed and it is mindee v's ds.

    As for the parent at the group.....well she needs to get into the real world and realise that most kids have issues with sharing at some point in their life. ITS NORMAL. Let's hope next time you are there it is her child playing up.

    P.S. I still struggle with the sharing thing in adulthood. Mainly with wine and Malteasers.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    Another tactic is if a child has two toys and won't share is to say which one would you like to give to xxx. It works surprisingly well as the child still feels in control which is what it's all about.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    Can't add to the other suggestions except to reassure you that it is a phase that will pass if you deal with it consistently.

    As for the parent at the group.....well she needs to get into the real world and realise that most kids have issues with sharing at some point in their life. ITS NORMAL. Let's hope next time you are there it is her child playing up.
    Don't you just love it when some holier than thou parent at toddlers has a child who turns from being an 'angel' to being just like everyone elses child and starts to throw mega wobblies lol

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    soud like my own lil one

    at home its myn myn myn !! doesnt like sharing

    its just a phase as long as your consistant with the sharing it should pass can be stressfull thougg

    good luck

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Mindee not sharing and shouting "mine" at my DS

    Thanks for the replies. I will def reinforce the sharing bit.

 

 

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