advice needed please

**maryp0ppins** · 12-02-2010, 05:22 PM

Hi, i've had a child start since begining of Jan who is 12months old,

She is Really REALLY clingy;; cries as soon as you leave her side, or put her in her highchair she cries. I'm finding this quite hard as i have others to watch look after too (2 days 3 yr old twins & 2 days a quite demanding just turned 3yr old boy)!
The Mother told me when i signed the contracts that the baby slept between her & daddy EVERY night & has done since she was born as she cries if they leave her in a cot.

I have a sleeping erea for the kiddies, but she will only sleep if i put her in a pushchair & face her to me or i have to hold her till she falls sleep

Its been 6 weeks now & i dont know if i can carry it on

HELP

**Mrs.L.C** · 12-02-2010, 06:17 PM

I would arrange a time with the parents to tell them your concerns. Give them ideas on how they can get baby to sleep in own cot such as pick up put down routine or controlled crying. I would mention that if they take a coupe of nights struggle to do this it would be alot less time than it would take if they wait till the baby is older (they dont just grow out of it). I also see it as ver dangerous having baby in the same bed as you. I would never forgive myself if I rolled on him or her. This may help with seperation.

Maybe mum could bring something that smells like them for you to put near baby.

**The Juggler** · 12-02-2010, 11:17 PM

I had a littel one like this. took about 2 months at home, longer at playgroups etc. Now she is nearly 3 and the most confident little thing you could imagine. I was near giving up, so I think it's a personal thing hon. only you know how much you can take.

I think planning a way forward with parents is the thing to do to see if there is any worries. may be they carry lo all the time so it's hard for lo to settle.

**Jessicasmummy** · 13-02-2010, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by maryp0ppins

Hi, i've had a child start since begining of Jan who is 12months old,

She is Really REALLY clingy;; cries as soon as you leave her side, or put her in her highchair she cries. I'm finding this quite hard as i have others to watch look after too (2 days 3 yr old twins & 2 days a quite demanding just turned 3yr old boy)!
The Mother told me when i signed the contracts that the baby slept between her & daddy EVERY night & has done since she was born as she cries if they leave her in a cot.

I have a sleeping erea for the kiddies, but she will only sleep if i put her in a pushchair & face her to me or i have to hold her till she falls sleep

Its been 6 weeks now & i dont know if i can carry it on

HELP

I took on an 11 month old 2 weeks ago and he is exactly the same. Firstly he would not let me put him down, but on the last session i was able to put him down providing i sat right by his side playing - this is difficult tho whilst i have other mindees. the very second i stand up he cries again

Its early days for me, im hoping it wont take long, ive cracked the not holding him the whole time, now i just need to be able to leave his side.

**Tired** · 13-02-2010, 11:44 AM

I have a 13 month girl like this too.

She is slowly improving, I can leave her side, but not the room. Sometimes, though, I just have to leave her to cry for a minute, as I have others to deal with.

I think over time, a long time, children like this will improve.
This might sound cruel, but as long as you are sure she is safe and there is nothing wrong, it wont hurt the child to cry for a bit if you have to do something else.

I had to go to the next room to get another baby from the cot. She screamed like it was the end of the world, but I was only 45 seconds, and as soon as I was back in eyesight she stopped.

good luck

**Jessicasmummy** · 13-02-2010, 12:44 PM

Originally Posted by Tired

I have a 13 month girl like this too.

She is slowly improving, I can leave her side, but not the room. Sometimes, though, I just have to leave her to cry for a minute, as I have others to deal with.

I think over time, a long time, children like this will improve.
This might sound cruel, but as long as you are sure she is safe and there is nothing wrong, it wont hurt the child to cry for a bit if you have to do something else.

I had to go to the next room to get another baby from the cot. She screamed like it was the end of the world, but I was only 45 seconds, and as soon as I was back in eyesight she stopped.

good luck

I have to agree, sometimes when i have to leave the room for a minute or so my lo just has to cry, i reassure myself he is fine and he is safe to stop myself from feeling so bad that he is crying.