Morning Drop Off Problem

**helenlc** · 15-01-2010, 01:46 PM

A new mindee, just started this week, is supposed to be dropped off at 8am and mostly by Dad.

Monday she didnt come as mum had to wait in for gas engineer.

Tuesday she came late as had an appointment - Mum had informed of this so no problem.

Wednesday my son had his hospital appt so I text them and said I would be available when we got back at 1pm. I text Dad when we were 5 mins from home and said I would definitely be in from 1. He said See you soon. She arrived at 2pm!

Yesterday, I text Dad at 8.10am to check they were on the way as I needed to leave soon for my school run. No repsonse. Did my school run and came back. So text Mum and Dad (incase Mum was doing drop off today) and got no response. I had another 2 mindees here and we missed toddlers as we were waiting.

So then I called at 10 but both went to answer machines. About 5 mins later, Mum text and said sometimes when Dad is running late, he will drop the other 2 at school then come and drop mindee off (their school is about 25 minutes drive away as were looking to buy in that area but ended up near me).

Dad then dropped off just after 10 and a few minutes after, text and said He had left his phone at home so hadnt got my messages and Sorry. Just said Ok.

Today, no sign at 8 and nothing by time we left at 8.30 so assumed he was on the long school run. Text him when leaving my DDs school at 9 to say I would be going to my CM drop off and he could drop her to me there and gave him the address. He called 2 minutes later and said he didnt know where that road was, so agreed to meet at a mid point "this once" I said.

Anyway, my question is this - how much waiting around and running around do I do? I usually go toddlers, soft play, drop in etc straight from school as they either start at 9.30. Or days like Wednesday for example we go soft play which is in town so I pop in town for the hour til it starts and do some errands ie banking, posting etc.

I used to have to wait around and constantly chase another parent before xmas and I am not doing that again. Some days we are home straight after school runs but only about 2. I iam not changing mine and my mindees weekly plans to hang around for this one late parent.

I wondered whether it would seem rude for me to give them a timetable of what days we go where and what times we go, so that if I am not at home, Dad knows where to find me. I just dont want to have to spend my time with other mindees in the car while we run around after them or keep coming home to wait around for her to arrive.

Any advice would be great, thanks.

**The Juggler** · 15-01-2010, 01:51 PM

don't ! give them a written schedule of where you are regularly, tell them if they are running late that's where you'll be. if they are not there after school and you have unscheduled plans, text them, tell them where you will be. they can drop to you there.

I wouldn't wait in regularly like that, maybe on a one off but not all the time not fair on you or little ones.

Pipsqueak · 15-01-2010, 01:51 PM

If I have to be somewhere I give it 10 minutes (and only if it allows me time to get where i am going and be punctual) and then go. I text saying this is where I'll be if not this is when I will be back.

By the sounds of it you need to have a chat with parents stressing the importance of being on time OR letting you know perhaps you could shock them and offer to change their contracted times - but of course because its shorter hours the price will change to reflect this (it goes up!)

I think seeing as its the first week I would be giving them the benefit of the doubt, perhaps they are not used to having to be somewhere apart from school. Some people are just 'late' people but I still find it rude.

I am having an on-going battle with one of my parents who thinks he can come and go as he pleases. He smugly announced today that seeing as I won't let him change his hours/days he has asked the SW to ask me.

**Tink** · 15-01-2010, 01:54 PM

Oh bless you. Some parents just think were ok to sit and wait for them to arrive.

I would speak to the parents and explain what activities you do and see if you can come to some arrangement.

It's not fair on the others if they are missing out because your having to wait.

Hope you get it sorted xxx

**Mouse** · 15-01-2010, 01:55 PM

Parents really don't consider how inconvenient it is when they mess you around like that.

I would start by having a chat with them & explain how inconvenient it is for you when you don't know what time/if the children will be arriving.
Giving them a copy of your timetable sounds good. I'd give a timescale, eg. 2 weeks, and say if things don't improve in that time you will have to reconsider your position (a veiled threat might make them think!)

**helenlc** · 15-01-2010, 02:13 PM

I will speak to them tonight and see what they say.

I am going to go with the timetable thing with addresses to show where I wil be at certain times if they havent made it here by 8am.

Monday we dont go anywhere regularly but might take a trip to the park or library. So I can say we can come home and then go later. But its so much easier to go straight from school rather than come home and undress everybody from their winter layers just to have to put it all on again an hour later.

It also restricts me being able to do anything spontaneous straight from school.

**caz3007** · 15-01-2010, 02:24 PM

I would give them a timetable of your regular activities, but make it clear that on the days you dont have anything you do like to act spontaneously too, as its good for you all to go with the flow sometimes and on those days its up to them to contact you to find out where you are and for them to make the effort to drop the child off.

Lets hope it is a 'just settling into a routine' problem and not an ongoing one.

**Sarah Louise** · 15-01-2010, 02:55 PM

I had similar problem with a parent who thought the whole idea of having a childminder was that it was more flexible for them.

Ended up having to stress that i need to know when to expect them and that they'll be on time dropping off as well as picking up as I couldn't be late for school and outings etc. Politely explained that if we didn't get there on time it wasn't worth going.

Just don't think they'd thought.

**helenlc** · 15-01-2010, 06:12 PM

Well, I didnt get a chance to make a timetable as dad collected really early (nice early finish on a Friday for me!

). I also didnt get a chance to mention it as was discussing LO having bitten someone (another thread!).

But I will see how it goes next week and take it from there.

Hopefully it is just settling in to a new routine but I dont want to be doing it all the time.

We attend things most mornings and they generally start at 9.30-10. I also usually go straught there as by time I come home and get coats and shoes off, its time to put them back on again!!!

**miffy** · 15-01-2010, 06:44 PM

I wouldn't give them a timetable as that restricts you - what if you change your mind then you have to start trying to get in touch with them.

Much easier to say to them that if they aren't at your house by xxx time then you will be out and about and they will have to find you - you'll have your mobile on, of course, so they can ring and find out where you are.

You never know, once they've chased you round a few times their time-keeping might improve!

Miffy xx

**manjay** · 15-01-2010, 06:53 PM

Originally Posted by miffy

I wouldn't give them a timetable as that restricts you - what if you change your mind then you have to start trying to get in touch with them.

Much easier to say to them that if they aren't at your house by xxx time then you will be out and about and they will have to find you - you'll have your mobile on, of course, so they can ring and find out where you are.

You never know, once they've chased you round a few times their time-keeping might improve!

Miffy xx

Exactly what I would do. I wouldn't be tying myself down to being somewhere at any particular time. My parents know what time I leave for the school run. If they are not here it is completely up to them to contact me and find me.

Pipsqueak · 15-01-2010, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by miffy

I wouldn't give them a timetable as that restricts you - what if you change your mind then you have to start trying to get in touch with them.

Much easier to say to them that if they aren't at your house by xxx time then you will be out and about and they will have to find you - you'll have your mobile on, of course, so they can ring and find out where you are.

You never know, once they've chased you round a few times their time-keeping might improve!

Miffy xx

What she said - exactly!

If they are late then they can ring you

**Gizmo** · 15-01-2010, 07:30 PM

Lets hope it all settles down for you quickly, one set of my parents are terrible they think turning up 1/2 late wont be a hassle, drives me mad knocks out your full morning

**helenlc** · 15-01-2010, 07:35 PM

Originally Posted by miffy

I wouldn't give them a timetable as that restricts you - what if you change your mind then you have to start trying to get in touch with them.

Much easier to say to them that if they aren't at your house by xxx time then you will be out and about and they will have to find you - you'll have your mobile on, of course, so they can ring and find out where you are.

You never know, once they've chased you round a few times their time-keeping might improve!

Miffy xx

Yes, this is true. I didnt think of it that way.

We dont attend a toddler group on a monday but that then leaves us free to do anything we want - I dont want to have to come home if its a nice day and we could have done the park or farm. On a Tuesday for example, we always go toddler group but the hour between the school run and it starting at 10, we can do anything - come home, do the library, pop to the shop etc.

I am going to have to be strict and say if you are not here by the time I need to leave for school, then you will have to come and find me after. As someone said, after a bit of running round Dad will hopefully get his act together.

**helenlc** · 20-01-2010, 09:25 AM

Well LO didnt come Monday or Tuesday as she was poorly. Mum rang in plenty of time to let me know she was keeping her at home with her but said she should be back today (weds).

So here I am at 9.20 with no child who was due at 8.

I have been and done the school run. I am going out in 5 minutes as I need to drop my son to my Aunts and then take my other 2 mindees to soft play, as we do every wednesday.

I am not ringing Dad. He will have to call me and bring her to the soft play place.

I dont normally come home from the school run before going to soft play but have incase she came.

Lol - Mum has literally just called to say LO is not coming as they are all poorly now.

Why couldnt she have done it when or before she was due at 8. I could have gone straight to soft play!!!

**Chanelle** · 20-01-2010, 09:55 AM

Awww, I do feel for you Helen.

A meeting with the parents is definatelly needed, it isnt fair on you not knowing.

Hope you manage to get this sorted and let us know what the parents say

Good Luck

**Carol M** · 20-01-2010, 11:09 AM

It's a real pain in the backside isn't it. I hope you are charging for all contracted hrs. I have a Dropping off and Collection policy, adapted from the one on Bromley Childminders site. If parents haven't contacted me BEFORE contracted start time I carry on with plans for the day. If there is a problem I refer them to my policy in the nicest possible way!
Hope things improve for you
Carol x

**KAZBAZ55** · 20-01-2010, 11:35 AM

I HAVE APARENT WHO DOES THIS ALL THE TIME. HAVE RECENTLY HAD A CHAT & TOLD THEM THAT THEY HAVE TO TEXT ME IF GOING TO BE LATE AS WONT ALWAYS BE HERE AFTER THE AGREED DROP OFF TIME. I WAS NICE ABOUT IT BUT HAD TO SAY SOMETHING AS SOME DAYS THEY JUST WOULDNT TURN UP AT ALL & ITS UNFAIR TO BE HANGING AROUND WAITING. UNFAIR ON ME & THE OTHER LOS. THEY WERE FINE ABOUT IT & AT THE MINUTE ITS WORKING BUT WILL JUST HAVE TO SEE HOW LONG FOR....

**twiggy** · 20-01-2010, 11:51 AM

The parent of one of my mindees is always late. I have now started to leave at 8.30am to get to school on time and I leave it for her to phone me to see where I am. She text me last week at 8.30am to say she would meet me at school and then text me 10 mins later to ask where I was. As the other children I mind cannot be expected to run to school I had to explain I was on my way. I arrived at school to find her parked on the zig zags outside the school and was told by another parent that she had nearly run a child over. She obviously thinks she is very important, I wonder if she would put her own child at risk by parking on the zig zags outside their school.

**wendywu** · 20-01-2010, 12:49 PM

I would give parents addresses of the places you may be at. Then let them text you on the day if they are late, to find out which soft play or toddlers you decided to go to.