Awkward when the parents are friends - payments etc.

**vix84** · 20-07-2009, 11:43 AM

I have a bit of an awkward situation with the parents of a mindee. I have known them for a year and they asked me to Childmind their child.

The first awkward thing was I ask to be paid in advance on the 1st of each month - then I dont recieve payment untill a week later ... then they say 'it would be much easier if we can pay in the first week of the month' so I say ok thats fine as I understand its tricky to transfer funds if you get paid on the last working day of each month. So I now have a credit card for the first week of each month.

Then the mum says dad is collecting tonight around 6pm (by txt) hope thats ok? I say yes thats fine (but Im contracted till 6pm and need to be out the door at 6pm to the gym so I was thinking to myself it beter be 6pm at the latest)
Dad turns up about 6:04pm which is only 4 mins but it just annoyed me. This time he went straight away as I handed over at the door - usually they come in for 5 mins.

So today dad says he is picking up again around 6pm - I feel like saying 'ok but I have to leave to go somewhere at 6pm'.

I should have known working for friends is so tricky. But to top it all off, a couple of weeks ago the child had sickness on the saturday and loose nappies Sunday and came in Monday. Then had a loose nappy so I sent him home - then we all got the bug so I had to take 3 days unpaid!!
The mum is a teacher so she knows the score, and the dad read the policies about 10 times and the sort of guy who knows his rights etc. and isnt scared to argue it all.

How do you politely get the point accross about 6pm collection at the latest, even if its on a few mins late?

Pipsqueak · 20-07-2009, 11:47 AM

I think you need to sit down and have a chat and just point out that this contract is based on a professional basis and you do not want it to affect your friendship but there are some issues you need to get ironed out.

Payment is one
Times are another

This is why I would never have a contract with a friend.

**vix84** · 20-07-2009, 12:05 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

I think you need to sit down and have a chat and just point out that this contract is based on a professional basis and you do not want it to affect your friendship but there are some issues you need to get ironed out.

Payment is one
Times are another

This is why I would never have a contract with a friend.

Yes I think this is a lesson well learnt!!

I think if it gets to 5 mins past then I will have to say - 'do you mind arriving no later than 6pm please as sometimes I need to go out at 6pm in order to be back by 7pm to bath and put my son to bed, and those 5 mins are critical to him when he is tired'.

**grindal** · 20-07-2009, 12:20 PM

I don't think you need to give a reason why they should collect their son at 6pm. You are contracted to look after him until 6pm - no later. Just explain that these are the contracted hours and late collection will incur a late collection penalty charge. By the way - its no better working for non friends! My mindees dad regularly used to drop her off at 7.45am for an 8am start and would tell me there was no traffic on the roads....ever! It never occured to him to leave the house later, or wait in the car until 8am. Last week mum dropped her off at 8am every morning. Today back to dad at 7.45am

Pipsqueak · 20-07-2009, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by grindal

I don't think you need to give a reason why they should collect their son at 6pm. You are contracted to look after him until 6pm - no later. Just explain that these are the contracted hours and late collection will incur a late collection penalty charge. By the way - its no better working for non friends! My mindees dad regularly used to drop her off at 7.45am for an 8am start and would tell me there was no traffic on the roads....ever! It never occured to him to leave the house later, or wait in the car until 8am. Last week mum dropped her off at 8am every morning. Today back to dad at 7.45am

Don't answer the door till 8 - tell them you are not covered by the insurance or alternatively would they like to alter the contract to start at 7.45 and this will incur your unsocial hour fee of £xxx

I do think its harder with friends as you are torn between being a friend a being a professional. Unfortunately whether friend or not - its a case of stating what needs to be ironed out before resentment sets in.

**grindal** · 20-07-2009, 12:39 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

Don't answer the door till 8 - tell them you are not covered by the insurance or alternatively would they like to alter the contract to start at 7.45 and this will incur your unsocial hour fee of £xxx

I do think its harder with friends as you are torn between being a friend a being a professional. Unfortunately whether friend or not - its a case of stating what needs to be ironed out before resentment sets in.

They are leaving on Wednesday - but thanks for the suggestion!

The not answering the door thing is hard, as my 3 yr old runs to the door shouting "Shes here, shes here - mummy come on"

**jaja** · 20-07-2009, 02:28 PM

I used to have the same problem with a baby who would arrive at 720am instead of 730 and then would leave after 6 when contractedtill 6, mum and dad would come in and spend twn minutes talking and not going.... I hope it improves but i would talk to them... good luck xxx

**Daftbat** · 20-07-2009, 03:03 PM

I think that this friends thing is really difficult since even if you don't start as friends then in my experience you often end up becoming friends anyway.

I try to set things out at the start in quite a jovial way by saying that we "need to put our business heads on" and then go through things that need sorting and then emphasising that - ok we are done with that, now we can concentrate on having fun. Then later if things do go a bit wry then i tell them we need to do the "business" thing again and i have found it works quite well. I think it needs to be clear that there will always be two sides to minding - the business one and the fun side.

**vix84** · 20-07-2009, 07:23 PM

He was about 4 mins past 6 again - but Ive calmed down and thought that maybe our clocks are set differently so maybe his says 6pm. I think if it ever gets to 6:10pm then will say something.
For future parents I will def. discuss this on contract signing and make it very clear that I have had problems before and I will charge automatically for over-time on the 2nd time it happens and just put it on the invoice

Pipsqueak · 20-07-2009, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by vix84

He was about 4 mins past 6 again - but Ive calmed down and thought that maybe our clocks are set differently so maybe his says 6pm. I think if it ever gets to 6:10pm then will say something.
For future parents I will def. discuss this on contract signing and make it very clear that I have had problems before and I will charge automatically for over-time on the 2nd time it happens and just put it on the invoice

simple solution to this one - get a clock and put it in the hallway... explain to parents that is the clock that you will go by for signing in and out.
I don't think 4 minutes past is too much to grumble at but don't let it become a habit
I would still be explaining that you have to be out of the door just after 6