Boys and dolls

[PixiePetal]

My son loved playing dolls and buggies - helped by DD who is 2 1/2 years older and who was doll and baby mad. Mind you she also had the garage and cars too.

He also did a mean line in dressing up in a tutu and dressing up shoes. By 3 he was train and vehicle mad but would still don the dressing up clothes at any time

Not sure he would now - he is 12! Almost a man, with a lovely gentle nature.

All children here have access to all toys, age appropriate for safety sake but otherwise a free for all.

[Rach30]

My son loved playing with pushchairs , dolls , teddies , barbies ect when he was younger. When my daughter came along they used to play "mums and dads" together. I think its great and perfectly healthy. Actually that seems like a distant memory cos now they fight like cat and dog . When DS was about 2 i bought him a shopping trolley , when the nighbour saw him pushing it she said "ooo you dont want that girls toy" so i said "what , don't Men go shopping then ?". She didn't know what to say then lol

[The Juggler]

even if you take play resources out of the equation, aren't they just imitating their dads (you'd hope anyway). If a Dad pushes, feeds changes his babies I can't see why he would find it so strange for his son to then do the same with a doll - it's just role play!

Unless I had a really archaic Dad, I would just point that out to them. They are imitating real life.

[helenlc]

My 3 yr old boy mindee loves the buggy and dolly (or Iglle piggle sometimes goes in it!). I dont think any thing of it. He wraps it in a blanket, gives it a bottles, changes its nappy etc.

My son loved playing with the doll and buggy when he was smaller. DH objected so I bought it for my daughter when she was 9 months old and DS used it til she was big enough to use it!!!

My son also had a toy kitchen when he was about 18 months as his cousins were throwing it out and he always played with it when he went to visit. My DH worked in a pub kitchen so didnt object to that one quite so much.

A friends husband objected when his son wanted a toy kitchen even though it was the hubby that did all the cooking in their house - he couldnt see that his son only wanted to do what daddy did. (He did eventually get one!!)

My daughter is a tomboy and whilst she loves her dollies, she loves her footballs and BMX just as much.

I was also a tomboy and still am not very girly (does that make me a Tom Man?) - I recently went to the England football game whilst my DH stayed at home with the kids!!!

No room for sexism in our house!!!

[Moominmomma]

so, glad my son's not the only one, he went everywhere in a pink tutu for over a year. And then in a pink ball gown, and now he saves his dress for at home and weekends, but still wears bobbles and a head band to school. As parents we are not bothered but as he gets older his peers question if he is a boy or girl!

Also, every other parent at toddler group/school think he is strange and ask me if it bothers me? I smile and say no, he's happy I'm happy!

[georgie456]

Both of my boy mindees love the dolls and pushchairs and both their dad's hate it!!

One dad picked up once and I had 3 girls at one end of the room playing with a train set while my 3yr old boy mindee was at the other end having a tea party with baby annabelle and 3 My Little Ponies!!!!!!!! Dad was not a happy chappy but it made me laugh my head off at his reaction. His son couldn't have been playing with more "girl's" toys at one time if he tried - all that was missing was him dressed up in a fairy dress!!!!!

Luckily all the mum's are very understanding and just tell me to leave the dad's to them!!!

[Lady Haha]

Wow, this thread has become sooooo interesting!!! I posted way at the beginning about my son and I am sooo pleased there are so many others like him!!!

I have one dad who picks up his son and I'm sure he was frightened to death of my son converting his when he started! He picks up his son and my son is wearing a Barbie Princess dress or something and you can almost see the relief on his face that his son isn't! Well, his son has been coming here for nearly a year now and is still as 'boyish' as he was at first, but he has also become far more accepting of my son which I think is a good lesson to learn early on! At first he kept telling my son that 'dress's are for girls' or 'girls play with dolls'. Now he has learned that if you can't beat em, join em! When my son and all the girls get Polly Pocket out, he gets a car to play with. It's a pink car with Polly in it, but it's still a car!!!

[Pipsqueak]

Very interesting discussion and very relevant to me at the moment.

I am caring for a 7 year old who by his mums admission (and previous childminder) is very 'effeminate'. He is a very gentle soul and relates best to the younger children.

He loves playing with the dolls, preferably Bratz, he loves the girls world and doing its make up and hair. he LOVES dressing up in the dresses and has asked if I have any high heels (I have said i don't - as I only have one pair and they are only wheeled out for special occasions) that he can use. He has searched my make up bag as well. He even wanted to take a couple of the dressing up dresses home (he is quite a small child and fits into the5/6 year old stretchy princess dresses)

Now I have no problem with boys playing and using this type of stuff - whats hard is getting him to have an interest in anything else. According to him he doesn't enjoy anything else - and i have tried all manner of things.

Mum doesn't want me to encourage his interests. what do I do.

[Lady Haha]

Pip, I would just let him be himself, which I know you already do. But I have tried to balance out my son's interests, but its nearly always a waste of time and momey! He does ballet on Saturdays which was completely his idea, so I got him into a karate class on a weeknight to balance it out, he lasted two weeks and didn't want to go back 'cos of all the shouting'

The last few christmas's he has been getting less and less boys stuff and more and more girls stuff. Last year the only boys thing he had was a Mega Rig thing he saw on tv and begged for. Played with it for five mins and hasn't touched it since, but his Barbie Diamond Castle dolls and dress is always out! From now on, I am not going to struggle with trying to encourage other interests!

When you say his mum wants you to encourage his interests, do you mean she wants you to just let him carry on being 'girly' or that she wants you to try and develop other interests in him?

Oh, just re read and realised you said that mum DOESN'T want you to encourage his interests! Thats a tough one!

I have to say I am incredibly proud of my son and the way he wins over all the 'normal' boys. I have always told him to be what he wants to be, but also 'warned' him that others might make fun. They don't bat an eyelid now when he takes his dolls to school and he is still really popular with both boys and girls as friends.

[John]

Starting this discussion i didn't know that it will get a good responce, I know it's ok for boys to play with dolls, and it's nice to see your happy with this, i think it's most men that are not happy that their son is wanting to play with a doll as to most man it's being a sissy or a puff, not thinking that the child is imitating a dad with a real baby.

A few times in the nursery that i worked at, had to explain to dads that's it all part of learning and playing with them will not turn your son gay or a sissy. Today i ordered that book called William's doll so hope it's give a explanation to a child and parent that's boy can play with dolls.

It's nice that we all can have a good discussion and this one is good for letting other parent's know they are not along with their son playing with dolls.

John.

[Daddy Day Care]

When we go to tots groups the first thing my son runs upto (2 in july) is the dolls and prams.

It doesnt bother me in the slightest and to be honest the dolls and prams get played with more by all the boys rather than the girls.

The girls tend to go to the diy corner and do soem hammering and drilling.

Gareth

[mummyof3]

My 3yr old ds has a little boy doll he is often seen walking to school pick up pushing him in his little blue buggy. I don't have a problem with it but I must admit others do look oddly at him or pass remarks.

Dads walk and push a buggy so whats the difference??????

[mandy moo]

Both my boys had buggies, prams, dolls both male and female, cooker, tea sets etc as well as cars, garages etc
DH was a little concerned when we got our 1st 'baby', he soon accepted it was staying tho
my youngest mindee, hes 22mth loves thebaby and likes to give it his bottle and bath it,
my 5 yr old mindee is a proper tomboy tho will only wear the bat man outfit or the red power ranger outfit, does not like pink at all, her fav colour is blue.

[The Juggler]

My 3yr old ds has a little boy doll he is often seen walking to school pick up pushing him in his little blue buggy. I don't have a problem with it but I must admit others do look oddly at him or pass remarks.

Dads walk and push a buggy so whats the difference??????

my point exactly. Never mind that they are playing with all sorts of different toys (no such thing as boys and girls toys in ofsted's world) but they are imitating their dads - I think sometimes Dad's forget this.

[Lady Haha]

My 3yr old ds has a little boy doll he is often seen walking to school pick up pushing him in his little blue buggy. I don't have a problem with it but I must admit others do look oddly at him or pass remarks.

Dads walk and push a buggy so whats the difference??????

You just hit the nail right on the head for me!!! My ex hubby absolutely refused to push the buggy when our son was a baby! So to think he bought him a little pink dressing table last Xmas must mean he's come a long way lol!