Boys and dolls

[John]

Today i was chating to a parent about young boys playing with dolls, and we agree that all boys should be able to play with a doll as it's part of growing up to be a daddy or a childminder so i'm asking would any of you mind if a boy play dollys? or if any parent that's on here will you be happy to let your son play with a doll? My mum said i like to play with a doll (hope none of my mates or childminding parents read this and still do part of my job being a childminder.

I have just found a book that might be of interesting Called William's doll: Book is about: William is a boy who wants a doll. He wants to play with it and hug it. He wants to tuck it into bed at night and wake it up in the morning and pretend that it's his own child. Needless to say, this plan is met with not a little bit of derision by his peers. His brother thinks it's creepy and the boy next door even goes so far as to call William a sissy. As for William's father, he decides to stem the boy's desires by purchasing manly toys for him. Basketballs, and trains, and tools. The only one who understands William is his grandmother, a wise woman who gives William his heart's desire and patiently explains to his father that there is nothing odd or abnormal about a boy wanting a doll. After all, if girls play with dolls to be good mothers why shouldn't boys play with dolls to be good fathers?


Here is a clip of the aducation film from the usa think it was made in the 70s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRPc_NS2J-k

John.

[tulip0803]

Even before I was a childminder my son had a puschair and dolls to play with as both had belonged to me as a child. I bought him a kitchen for christmas alongside cars etc. On the same lines when I had my original pre-reg insp and I was asked about boys/girls toys I pointed to DD1 who was wearing a hardhat and fixing something with tools .

My friends son was bought a pushchair for his birthday and his dad put it out for the dustmen . At the Family Centre if a parent mentions anything we explain the same thing as you said John, it is acting out what they see at home from Dad as well as Mum. Luckily all the Mum's are really happy to see them play as they often do not have these toys at home to play with.

[Lady Haha]

Ah, this little gem! My own son plays more with 'girls' toys than anything else. He started showing an interest in dolls when he was around two and he is seven now and has tons of Barbies, has all the Barbie films and is basically Barbie mad! When mindees come round, he mainly plays with the girls, gets the Polly Pocket stuff out etc. His dad and me aren't together anymore, and at first his dad refused to accept it. But slowly, over the years and realising this wasn't a phase and that I hadn't forced our son to be a 'poof' as he put it, he even bought him a little pink dressing table for Xmas just gone! He spends ages sitting at it doing his make up and hair!

I know my son is a very extreme example of this, but I can't help feeling proud of MYSELF for being so supportive for him. My mum visits and she says 'it's weird' and she can't help it if she's 'old school'. I wonder what it would be like for a boy who liked dolls etc to be told 'no you can't play with that!' and be made to feel like there is something wrong with him. At that age, all they know is that they want to play with 'that toy' and can't understand why its 'wrong' to want that.

So, John, I think you are a fabulous example of the way to go! Well done! To have a man saying that dolls are fine to play if you are a young lad who likes dolls, must be so reassuring.


Just watched the clip too! Wonderful! I am going to let my son watch that, I like to find other examples of boys who like dolls to show him so that he doesn't feel like a freak!

[FussyElmo]

My ex was really terrible about this!! He came to collect dd1 and ds once and because ds wanted to take the pushchair he threw a fit. Screaming the street that no son of his would be a poofer. I shut the door on him!!!

He couldnt see that it was alright and normal - he didnt object to dd having boy toys brought for her as she wouldnt play with dolls etc she's still a power ranger now at 10 but doesnt admit it!!!

My youngest ds is a typical boy car and football mad other than elmo are the only things he plays with except fot the pushchair and doll. We watch him at toddlers picking the doll up gently, cuddling and kissing and gently puttting her to sleep

Let children be with their own likes and dislikes. We prefer different things as adults so why shouldn't children.

[miffy]

I think you're right John - my own son had a pushchair and he loved it.

Miffy xx

[sue m]

I've been minding since 1987 and all the children had a pushchair and dolls and all the boys have always played with them.

[angeldelight]

I have never thought it mattered what children play with if they enjoy it

Before I did minding my own children played with whatever - my sons often played with the Barbie dolls ( just dont tell them that I told you that ) and my daughters always played with their brothers cars

I have one parent though who is funny - the dad of one child does not think it is right

Last year the little girl and boy swapped hats - one being a boys and one being a girls pink hat
I took a picture because they both looked so cute

Dad was not happy and said he is a boy not a girl

He knows he plays with dolls here and often makes comments but lucky for me I do have the moms support otherwise I think it would make it really difficult because his views are so strong

Angel xx

[mrs c]

My mindee plays with dolls at my house - I think its quite natural for him as he has a baby brother and I certainly wouldn't stop him. Ive had other boys who have played with dolls, do washing, ironing and cooking and have never seen anything odd with this.
When I was young I never played with dolls, much prefered meccano and train sets and thank goodness my mum never saw this as odd and pushed dolls onto me!

[huggableshelly]

all my mindees play with dolls, my son had his own doll for his first birthday and his own pushchair too.

last summer I took 5 children to the park, all had a pushchair (4 boys 1 girl)
my daughter had a pet stick in her pram, my son had Fred his afro cabbage patch doll, the minded boys all chose thier dolls or teddies, one took the girl twins with him.

none of my parents have ever requested that their child is not to play with dolls, the only request I did have was for a child not to dress up as a girl ... I discussed the pros and cons stating that dressing up allowed a child to learn how to be independant with chosing outfits and dressing themselves and develops creativie imagination. yep the child still dressed up and adored the bridesmaid dress, he wore it practically daily but not anymore, he is 11 now and apart from the fact that it doesnt fit him its no longer cool to dress up!

[Roseolivia]

I don't have any boy mindees now but the one i did he used to play with dolls. It doesn't matter what they play with as long as they are having fun. I think most boys go to cars etc anyway and the girls go to dolls etc( in my experience anyway)

[sarah707]

I always tell parents that most boys will end up as fathers and the more practice they can get with babies / pushing buggies the more their future partners will thank me!

[Pudding Girl]

Everyone plays with everything and nothing has ever been said so far. My own children both played with each others toys.

I'd like to think there's not many men now who still have this old fashioned attitude, as everyone has said, men push prams too but maybe it's just that I've not come across it.

[Blackhorse]

I think boys should be able to play with whaever they want and if it's dolls then let them play with them

saying that, I have to confess that I always think it's 'funny, unusual'' (sorry cant think of better words) to see them actually play with dolls. but that is just because we are being brought up in a society with stereotypes imprinted into us...boys dressed in blue with cars....girls in pink with dolls

it is not always easy to get away from all these influences around us, but I guess you have to take a conscious decision to rise above these things and allow the kids to play with whatever they want.

So in a way I can understand why parents might think that way, but they should leave their own feelings and fears (like...oh no what will they say if they see my boy play with a doll instead of a football...)aside and let the kids have fun with toys they choose

I hope I managed to explain this so you know what I am trying to say

[balloon]

My own children have always played with whatever they wanted, they're all boys and we've had a succession of prams and pushchairs for the teddies over the years, even a few dolls.

Mindees of course play with everything too. I make it clear to parents that we have to let them play with what they want to and not push them towards gender specific toys and so far I haven't had a problem. If anybody did say anything I'm all prepared to do the 'he's practising to be a daddy' thing...

[Mouse]

My own children always had dolls & pushchairs and to be honest, it's not something I really think about with mindees. They play with whatever they want & these days it never occurs to me that parents might have a problem with it.

When I bought my first son a doll my inlaws were outraged! Even DH was a bit off about it, but then that came from his upbringing with his parents. DH said it was OK for DS1 to play with the doll indoors, but not out of the house.
Me being me though, I let DS1 take it wherever he wanted & actively encouraged him to take it if we visited the inlaws
DH was much more relaxed about it once he realised it wasn't going to have an impact on DS's sexuality (isn't that what the men are frightened of?) and all the boys went on to have their own dolls.

[kindredspirits]

isn't it mad really that the only men that won't go on to procreate are those who are gay and yet men are afraid that if their sons play with dolls and pretend to be daddies that they will become so

my sons fav. toys are his dolls and his ironing board

[Polly2]

Both my boys had lots of dolls etc to play with having 2 big sisters.

It s funny how all the boys I mind love the play kitchen and the dolls! - I wondered if its because they are "not allowed" to play with these kind of toys at home???

My daughter on the other hand hated dolls and was much happier kicking a football round or climbing a tree yet now as a teenager is very much into fashion and makeup!

[ORKSIE]

All of my Mindees play with dolls and buggy's, The girls and boys alike. The girls also like to play with the cars and trains. I really dont see a problem and cant understand anyone who does.

[aly]

I had to by my son [nearly 8] a doll becasue when he was about 2 he couldn't go passed a little girl without wanting her doll.

So I bought him a boy doll. It's still down my mums actually and should bring it back.

[little chickee]

My ds who is now 6 has always liked to play with dolls and buggies - his favorite colour is pink and he has pink slippers, pink socks etc which i totally do not have any problem with. My hubby however has struggled with it a lot - he now 6 years later has gradually accepted it and is now ok with my little angel liking pink and dolls and prams.

DS has 4 baby annabells / baby chou-chous on the end of his bed and he loves them. when he was at pre-school the teachers there commented on how he played gently with the dolls, tucking them up etc when most boys just chuck them about and they did not see it as a problem.

Ds is youngest of 3 and only one who has shown this interest in "girls toys" but all 3 have liked having nail varnish etc on.

On the flip side my son also plays just as rough as his brothers and loves to play with "boys toys" just as much - i think its adorable that he has this softer gentle side and i think it will make him grow into a well rounded, caring person.