enough is enough!!!!

[lilsteff]

ok i have seriously had enough!!!

last week a 12 yr old child kicked my cat (she admited she did it, becsaue apparently my cat was attacking her feet which is rubbish as he would attack unless provoked!!) SO this happened on wednesday last week and all day thursday my cat charlie lay down all day and a few parents commented on how it was not like him not to say hello as he is a very people person cat.

anyway that thursday the child who kicked him was not in and i didnt think there was anything wrong with him until he moved off his bed wen my partner came in at 7pm and charlie was limping alot, which raised my concersn on friday morning wen the children came in i asked them if they had hurt charlie, she the older child said that he did it cos he was going to attack her, so i had 2 ring round the vets in the area and try 2 get him booked in, thankfully i managed it at framwellgate moor- anyway when the childs mother came to pick her up on the night time and i explained what had happened her mother started using rather abusive language to me wgilst another parent was leaving (the other parent came back in as she was concerned about the things that had been said) she humilated me called me a bad person a useless childminder and a greedy person. she was shouting at me and as she left my property she was shouting in turkish at her daughter refering to me. later that eveing oin the way to the vets her mother rang me demanding a meeting on monday afternoon i said that it would be fine but i wanted representation with me (she didnt want this and hung up the fone after telling me i was ignorant)

just as we arrived at the vets she rang again and said that i had put words into her daughters mouth!! i would never do this at all, she is 12 and can speak for herself! she was shouting so loud on the fone my partner could hear every word she was saying to me.

she then went on to tell me i mess her about constntly! i would love to know when as i bend over backwards fpr her and her child!!!!! some examples odf this are :
* i had kidney stones- was in agony i still looked after her as she couldnt find anyone else.

* i spent a fortune on taxis to get her to and from school when she went to primary schoola s she was instant on her coming to me and the school wasnt local to me.

* i looked after her child whilst she was in hospital for 3 days, i wshed her clothes, gave her dinner money and gave her a place to stay whilst her mother was in hospiutal.

* i worked weekends which made me ill

* when i first started childminding i never took any holidays the only day ofgf i i was for my bday and xmas day.

*her daughter sprained her ankle and she shouted at me rather abusively when i refused to not have her incase it made it worse.

*at comic relief this year her daughter went into school with no uniform on when she was nt ment to and got sent home, i helped her daugther get into the her house to get her uniform so she could go back to school (again no thank you or anything)

* i have had to cancel physiotherpy sessions and hospital appointments cos she cant get anyone 2 luk after her daughter.

i have bent over backwards and i have never had a word of thank you or kindness from her mother after all i have done for her!

i wont stand for her abuse any more! she told me on friday that my job is easy and that irts nt hard work,

sorry i just needed to get thjis off my chest

hope everyone hadd a nice weekend becasue i didnt was too worked uop cos of her and her mother.

OH and charlie will be fine he has some vey bad bruising on his leg

[miffy]

Oh gosh - poor you and poor Charlie.

I'm sorry but I would terminate the contract - you shouldn't have to suffer this kind of abuse.

I wouldn't have the child or her mother back in my house.

I'd also notify Ofsted in case she makes a malicious complaint.

Sending hugs

Miffy xx

[huggableshelly]

you have put up with the child and parent for far too long now, i would terminae the contract immediately no notice and personally I would also give her the vets bill along with the final invoice if there is anything outstanding. She probably wont pay but you are not her slave and the cat is not the childs punch bag. ENOUGH now before a child gets treated the same way as the cat.

I hope you have a better day today, dont put yourself through anymore of their punishment

hugs from me xxx

[LittleMissSparkles]

I would have given her termination with immediate effect if she had spoke to me in that way in my own home who the hell does she think she is....

I hope your ok if you can afford to I personally would giver notice, I have recently done this last week for the same reasons but thank fully not to the extent your parent went to with you xxx

[Pipsqueak]

How awful for you. I would be terminating the contract with immediate effect. You have witnesses as to the parent being abusive to you - in your own home, in front of children and other adults. That is disgusting behaviour.
And to top it all of - she has deliberately hurt the cat - twice.
I perhaps may add in that you are considering informing the RSPCA of the cruelty to your animal and letting them deal with it

[amirose]

She hasn't just "kicked" the cat she has done it with some force. I have been known to use a foot to boot a dog out the kitchen or to scare them off when they have been misbehaving but we are talking a foot flicked in their direction accompanied by a loud "get out of it" rarely even making contact but having desired effect of dog doing bum tucks to avoid me and bolting out the room and never resulting in injury

The mum is an idiot and its no wonder her child is the ways she is for christs sake put yourself out the misery and terminate with immediate effect

Hugs

[Rach30]

OMG what a horrible family ! I would definately terminate contract with imediate effect and no notice served . Maybe contact NCMA to make sure you dont get nay come back from the family. I know you'd loose money but its so not worth the stress. Hopefully you will be able to find another nice family. Wishing you a sress free week (do they exist ?? ) x

[Ripeberry]

Terminate contract, she knows why. It is the best and only thing to do.
If she gives you grief get the police on her. She is seriously deranged and also tell Ofsted of what has happened and maybe even get the other parent to back you up in writting.
Glad your Charlie is OK and thanks for letting us now

[helenlc]

I would imagine the child's behaviour could only go from bad to worse with that kind of mother showing her how to behave!!!

[Ripeberry]

Ok, this might be a bit contovertial, but i do think that mother thinks because you are a childminder that equates to "slave". A few years ago i stayed in the home of a Turkish friend in Fetiyeh for a week and they had a nanny and the way they treated her was disgusting and they said it was because she only looked after the children and did some cleaning so was not a "worthy person" i was so at that.
Felt really uncomfortable after that and also Turks do not like cats, they treat them as vermin...i think that's why she was so offhand about Charlie.
Its really difficult dealing with other cultures as we have to bend backwards for them but they don't or wont understand ours

[rickysmiths]

Please, Please be very careful about terminating the contract without notice.

It is very hard and I feel for your cat. If you do terminate without notice then you will be liable to pay any additional childcare costs the mother incures as a result, you would also have to compensate her if she looses any pay through missing work as a result of you terminating the contract.

The only time you can terminate immediately is if the child or parents actions puts you, your minded children or your own children were in immediate danger. You could still be asked to pay costs.

I think it is grossly unfair but that is the way it is. Look at note 25 on the back of the NCMA contracts if you use them also ring the legal helpline for advise. If you are with MM I am not familiar with their contract but I advise you phone their helpline.

I would give your notice in writing tonight, so at least the process of getting rid is started properly.( if things are resolved you can also withdraw the notice at any time and continue with the contract). The other thing you can do is to agree with the mother that you both agree to terminate the contract with immediate effect. You need to write this out setting out the reasons why the contract is being terminated and both of you sign and date it, I would also have a witness pref on both sides to sign it.

If you have a meeting with her you have every right to have someone with you it is not the choice of the mother and don't pander to her, invite her to bring someone with her as well.

Good luck it is not a pleasant situation to be in. Hope the cat recovers soon.

[LittleMissSparkles]

I have it in my policys that I will terminate with immediate effect and list the conditions I would do this still requiring 4 weeks notice period paying though and all my parents sign to say they understand this, I may be self employed and I may be governed by Ofsted etc and have to follow rules but I will not be treated like scum in my own home by any parent or child. If they do not understand this and agree to this I dont take them on

xxx

[mandy moo]

Please, Please be very careful about terminating the contract without notice.

It is very hard and I feel for your cat. If you do terminate without notice then you will be liable to pay any additional childcare costs the mother incures as a result, you would also have to compensate her if she looses any pay through missing work as a result of you terminating the contract.
The only time you can terminate immediately is if the child or parents actions puts you, your minded children or your own children were in immediate danger. You could still be asked to pay costs. I think it is grossly unfair but that is the way it is. Look at note 25 on the back of the NCMA contracts if you use them also ring the legal helpline for advise. If you are with MM I am not familiar with their contract but I advise you phone their helpline.

I would give your notice in writing tonight, so at least the process of getting rid is started properly.( if things are resolved you can also withdraw the notice at any time and continue with the contract). The other thing you can do is to agree with the mother that you both agree to terminate the contract with immediate effect. You need to write this out setting out the reasons why the contract is being terminated and both of you sign and date it, I would also have a witness pref on both sides to sign it.

If you have a meeting with her you have every right to have someone with you it is not the choice of the mother and don't pander to her, invite her to bring someone with her as well.

Good luck it is not a pleasant situation to be in. Hope the cat recovers soon.

Red:I too was given this advice by the Ncma Legal Line when when I hurt my leg (on another thread)

Blue: They advised me to give notice, but that it was to come into place when I start back to work so far I have not sent it yet, simply coz I have no idea when I'll be able to walk let alone work.

Red: good idea.

Hugs to you and Charlie

[katickles]

No way would I be treated like this!!

Are you going to continue minding this child?

[emler]

What a nightmare situation. I would not want to work with the family either after being spoken to like that. Glad to hear your cat is ok.

[melanieabigail2004]

Serve notice on the grounds that you will not be spoken to like this in your own home. If they choose to send the child then remain polite and professional but do not let that women through your door.

I suspect if you serve notice they won't return - make sure you inform Ofsted to but cover in case she makes an unfounded complaint.

Hope the cat is OK

Mel

[JOANNE]

I would certainly give her notice, she sounds like a right rude so-and-so.
Get rid, you don`t need people like that,how dare she say things to you when you have obviously helped her out so much.
Some people are just NEVER happy.

[lilsteff]

thanks for ur support

any ideas of a letter that i could do for her? im nt very good with letters at all

[angeldelight]

I would have given her termination with immediate effect if she had spoke to me in that way in my own home who the hell does she think she is....

I hope your ok if you can afford to I personally would giver notice, I have recently done this last week for the same reasons but thank fully not to the extent your parent went to with you xxx

I agree

How awful for you

I think you are being taken advantage of also

Glad your cat is ok

Have you decided what you are going to do about this ?

Angel xx

[lilsteff]

i will be terminating the contract i need to write a letter but im useless at writing letters any help or suggestions