Sleep!

[patconn2]

Hi all
I have had a parent drop off lo this morning, he is 14 months. He doesn't sleep through the night, which I know from experience is hard. Mum sais this morning that he must be asleep at 11.00 and only sleep for 2 hours. The problems is that he is not ready to go to sleep at 11, if I put him in the buggy he screams, becomes stressed and doesn't go to sleep till 12 anyway. I have a 20 month old to look after as well so can't give up an hour to wrestle with 14 mnth to get him to sleep. I usually wait till around 12 then put him in buggy and he is asleep in minutes no crying.
Have tried to explain all this and I don't think the time of his sleep here is the issue, he has a sleep at home at 11 and still wakes up at night. There are other issues like teething. I am quite willing to be flexible within reason.
What do you all do if parents make demands like this. Am going to have a chat with them tonight.

[Mrs.L.C]

I would explain the situation you are in and that you ahve to care for other children as well. Maybe you could aslo say toddler groups are in the mornings and if the child sleeps at 11 they will miss out. maybe try meeting half way and say you will put the child down at 11.30?

Also I would mention the pick up put down routine to mum that she should try at home at bed time and also see what routine they have the child in before bed.

Iv never used it but mentioned it to a friend and she said after 2 nights they had pretty much got their boy to sleep no problem

[donnadoo2004200]

Its difficult one. You cant make the child go to sleep if he is not ready. I would explain to mum that if you put him in the buggy at 11 he just screams surely its worth waiting an hour the he goes with no trouble. Does she want her baby crying for an hour? Perhaps say to her a compromise 11.30 see if thats works at least you are trying to work with parents. Goodluck

[patconn2]

Have suggested all kinds of stuff. Lo was sleeping from 7pm till 1 or 2 at 8 months would wake be awake for 1/2 hours then go back. Parents started waking him at 10 to give him milk now he wakes at 10 and 2!
It is hard to see wood for trees when you are tired and they have admitted they are too lazy to do controlled crying etc!!!

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I would try at 11 but if he gets stressed get him out, have lunch and try again at 12.00.

If he is over tired and gets up earlier when coming to you than when with mum at the weekends could you not try putting him down a bit earlier as that might be why he is fighting.

Personally, I find that children sleep better in a bed than a buggy so mine go up at 12.00 after lunch and into the travel cot. They don't cry for long and are clean and safe so I leave them for a while. They get used to my routine and after 1 week max they go straight to sleep no problem.

[patconn2]

He gets up at the same time every day more or less. If he has been tired before I have put him down at 10.30 if he needs it. He is quite happy playing and not upset or whining. He sleeps and settles better in the buggy, have tried travel cot and mum puts him in buggy at home during the day.
I used to struggle with him, but parents and I agreed he was getting too stressed and to wait till he is tired. Have checked his diary and he slept through 3 of the 4 nights when he had been with me in the day, only woke for 10-15 mins. So I don't think that it is worth the struggle to change the routine, if you see what I mean.

[miffy]

There may be other reasons he is not sleeping through the night.

His body clock might be out of sync now with the clocks changing anyway.

It's always very tricky trying to get the balance right between what parents want as regards sleep for babies and what the babies need or you can cope with.

I think you should just be honest with the mum about what you can do and how the child settles easier later.

Good luck

Miffy xx

[Schnakes]

Unless its a very young baby I am quite strict about sleep. I personally would just tell the mum that you are not prepared to allow the child to become distressed for an hour each day, for the sake of that hour.

I became friendly with another childminder who had recently registered and she had a very similar situation to you. She followed what the mum said, even though the poor little boy was screaming hysterically and obviously in no mood for sleep. It made me feel sick listening to him cry and I gave her the same advice Im giving you. Dont be bullied - you manage the time and the children while they are in your care. You know what is best for them while they are with you, and I totally disagree that letting a child cry for an hour is best. No matter what the parents might think.

Sx

[Blackhorse]

I agree with Schnakes....
I would not let a child cry for an hour every day if he simply isn't tired yet but goes down well at 12.

anyways, I doubt that sleeping one hour later at lunchtime will make a big difference to his night time sleep.

I also don't agree with the thought that all children need to sleep through the night by a certain age. I know this is controversial, but that is just what I think. I was actually fed up with the constant question you get with a new baby...does it sleep though yet...why not? oh you need to do this that and the other!!! ohh bad! that's what I got to hear at mothers and toddlers all the time. I know it is not easy to be up at night, but I think sometimes the pressure of the children having to sleep through the night can make night time routines and what parents do to try and achieve them much much worse.

[patconn2]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am going to speak to parents this evening. My issue is that he has a regular routine with me and mostly sleeps better at night than when he hasn't been here.
Have told parents that some children just don't sleep through, took no notice and have become very stressed about it but don't want to do anything about it themselves. Its like they expect me to do it for them. If they hadn't started waking him to give him milk he wouldn't have started waking again at 10pm. They interact with him a lot when he wakes in the night so what do they expect!
Not an issue for me to work on I'm afraid