Not sure if i need to inform Ofsted?

**Ebs71** · 02-02-2009, 09:36 PM

Unfortunatly me and my partner our splitting up

and he will be moving out of our home (if he ever goes) do i need to inform Ofsted of this? what if he decided to come back? also what if in a few years time i met someone else..... (doubt that will ever happen though as ive had it with men!!!)

Any advice welcome as after 3 weeks of tears im now thinking logically and need to get organised for me and my kids. ( i have no mindees at present by the way)

Thanks Hayley xx

**Mollymop** · 02-02-2009, 09:41 PM

Sorry to hear that Hayley.

You can phone ofsted for advice.
I don't think you would really need to tell them straight away after all he has had a CRB check done and whether he leaves or not shouldn't make too much difference to Ofsted.

In regards to someone else moving in eventually, they would need to have an enhanced CRB check carried out.

**sarah707** · 02-02-2009, 09:42 PM

Poor you! I remember when my ex left it was a truly awful time.

I rang Ofsted to let them know he wasn't in the house any more and they put a note on my records.

When I met someone else, he was just a boyfriend and visited occasionally after work... not enough to worry about him coming into contact with the minded children etc.

Later when it got more serious (about 3 years later... I was a tough nut to crack lol) I told Ofsted that someone might sometimes be around and they just noted it in my records.

later again he decided to join me in the business helping with the after schoolies. Then he was CRB checked (but he already had 3 from previous jobs so we weren't worried!)

Sending hugs xx

**loocyloo** · 02-02-2009, 09:50 PM

no advice, just thinking of you, and hope everything is ok xxx

**Ebs71** · 02-02-2009, 09:55 PM

Thanks, i will wait until he has left then before i contact them, but the more i nag him about going the more he's being sturborn and wont leave (yet he's the one who wants to leave me). so glad i dont have mindees yet as i couldnt bear them being around me and suffering as im still abit raw as he is being verbally agressive, playing mind games and him and his parents are bullying me so i would hate them to round this atmosphere, its bad enough my kids are around it. He is also saying he is going to tell his solicitor im an unfit mother because i have loads of unwashed clothes in the airing cupboard...... thats the last thing i need because ofsted will probably take my cert off me wont they?

Sorry for going on, just worrying abit as i feel i have no control at the mo. I live 50 miles from my family, only have 1 friend here (my neighbour) his family seem to thrive of the fact i have no-one for support.

**Jules27** · 02-02-2009, 09:55 PM

Sending big hugs hun at this difficult time xxx

**christine e** · 02-02-2009, 09:59 PM

Someone I know got pulled up by Ofsted for not letting them know that one of her grown up children had moved out of the family home!

Cx

**Daftbat** · 02-02-2009, 10:15 PM

Hi,
So sorry you are going through this. I am sure that you are a wonderful mother - hands up anyone who has all their washing up to date? Hands up any man who has his washing up to date for that matter - NONE!!

Take no notice - chuck him out and get on with your life - sounds like you will be much better off without him. Sorry, probably shouldn't have such an opinion when i don't know you but i have an ex and i think they're probably all the same -

' s

**PixiePetal** · 02-02-2009, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by Ebs71

Sorry for going on, just worrying abit as i feel i have no control at the mo. I live 50 miles from my family, only have 1 friend here (my neighbour) his family seem to thrive of the fact i have no-one for support.

You have lots of support here

**Twinkles** · 02-02-2009, 11:28 PM

Originally Posted by Ebs71

Thanks, i will wait until he has left then before i contact them, but the more i nag him about going the more he's being sturborn and wont leave (yet he's the one who wants to leave me). so glad i dont have mindees yet as i couldnt bear them being around me and suffering as im still abit raw as he is being verbally agressive, playing mind games and him and his parents are bullying me so i would hate them to round this atmosphere, its bad enough my kids are around it. He is also saying he is going to tell his solicitor im an unfit mother because i have loads of unwashed clothes in the airing cupboard...... thats the last thing i need because ofsted will probably take my cert off me wont they?

Sorry for going on, just worrying abit as i feel i have no control at the mo. I live 50 miles from my family, only have 1 friend here (my neighbour) his family seem to thrive of the fact i have no-one for support.

Hmmm I have loads of unwashed clothes in the basket , I have loads of unironed clothes in the ironing basket , I have loads of unwashed dishes in the dishwasher.......................
oh yeah ! everything normal then

Social services won't care about such nonsense , they will care that the kids are being looked after well,as I'm sure you do.
He's the one causing them stress !

(((hugs)) We are here whenever you need to chat.

**Bushpig** · 02-02-2009, 11:33 PM

Oh dear, what a predicament! I hope he goes as soon as possible! So you can move on with your life in a positive manner, without his nonsense.

I would phone Ofsted when he has well and truly gone, and your home is your own.

Thinking of you and sending you a big hug!!!

**Blaze** · 03-02-2009, 04:18 AM

Originally Posted by Twinkles

Hmmm I have loads of unwashed clothes in the basket , I have loads of unironed clothes in the ironing basket , I have loads of unwashed dishes in the dishwasher.......................
oh yeah ! everything normal then

Social services won't care about such nonsense , they will care that the kids are being looked after well,as I'm sure you do.
He's the one causing them stress !

(((hugs)) We are here whenever you need to chat.

Sounds familiar! He's playing mind games....ignore them! We're here for you.

**emler** · 03-02-2009, 07:38 AM

Just wanted to send hugs your way - hope you are ok x

**RedDragon** · 03-02-2009, 07:48 AM

Sending hugs your way. Take no notice of the dig about the washing - if that's all he can pin on you you can't be doing too badly.

**Shar** · 03-02-2009, 08:21 AM

I do hope you are not doing any of his washing or ironing. Keep strong, our thaughts are with you.

**cheeky monkeys** · 03-02-2009, 08:40 AM

I had all of this 8 years ago. It took me 6 months of pure hell before my ex would leave. I had the same threats and more. Don't worry about the washing etc, just look after your children. To be an unfit mother you have to be a drunk, junkie or abusing your children (that's what my solicitor told me). It's just threats.

As you've no mindees at the moment, there is no need to let Ofsted know, but it may be a good idea so that they have it on their records in case some busybody informs them.

Chin up, life afterwards is great. It gets better and better (well has done for me!!)

Thinking of you. X

**breezy** · 03-02-2009, 08:44 AM

take care, we're always here for you

**mum22** · 03-02-2009, 08:46 AM

We are here for you, would you like me to forward pictures of my washing basket, ironing mountain ?

all perfectly normal, dont rise to it, if thats all he can find to have a go then you are doing a fab job

**katickles** · 03-02-2009, 08:49 AM

Sorry to hear you are having a hard time honey.

Just wanted to say that we're all here for you, sending you hugs x x

**mandy moo** · 03-02-2009, 01:44 PM

Originally Posted by Ebs71

Thanks, i will wait until he has left then before i contact them, but the more i nag him about going the more he's being sturborn and wont leave (yet he's the one who wants to leave me). so glad i dont have mindees yet as i couldnt bear them being around me and suffering as im still abit raw as he is being verbally agressive, playing mind games and him and his parents are bullying me so i would hate them to round this atmosphere, its bad enough my kids are around it. He is also saying he is going to tell his solicitor im an unfit mother because i have loads of unwashed clothes in the airing cupboard...... thats the last thing i need because ofsted will probably take my cert off me wont they?

Sorry for going on, just worrying abit as i feel i have no control at the mo. I live 50 miles from my family, only have 1 friend here (my neighbour) his family seem to thrive of the fact i have no-one for support.

I bet its all his washing tho, coz im bloomin sure if I was in the same position, I wouldnt be doing his bloomin washing,
He could always take it to his mums..

And as for his parents, well they can have him back home!!