Your thoughts please.

**flora** · 29-02-2008, 07:42 PM

I mind for few hours in the afternoon for R who is 2yrs 5months. My dd is 2 at the end of April. Generally they get on fine, but.... there are some days R just won't leave my dd alone. The girls are as different as chalk and cheese which is nice, but R is in to whining big time.

Often it is not justified dd often not doing owt wrong but R will moan cos she thinks she might iyswim? She has some speech but chooses not to talk. If you offer food or drink she rarely responds just looks the other way if she doesn't want it.
She is a lovely little girl and most days we are fine, but I'm finding it hard as R will cry if H picks up toys she has digarded and I mean really cry she also shouts "NO NANNA NO!! " Repeatedly and tells h that she is naughty, but dd just shrugs it off it its the reverse.

I suppose I just would like to get your input as to how to bring out the best in both girls without interfering too much. I don't want to be refereeing

Sorry for waffling, have a chest infection so brains addled

**Schnakes** · 29-02-2008, 08:06 PM

Doncha just love kids like that!?

Just wanted to ask - is R a newbie? Doe you look after her every afternoon or just once a week?

Sx

**flora** · 29-02-2008, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by Schnakes

Doncha just love kids like that!?

Just wanted to ask - is R a newbie? Doe you look after her every afternoon or just once a week?

Sx

She's been with me since september, and I have her every afternoon. She's not an only child, and my dd isn't either. I supose if I'm honest dd can be independant, quite self reliant and a bit tough, having a 10yr old big bro who plays WWE with her helps. but shes' so easy going most of the time,( she's def not perfect!

)
R can be lovley and I won't stop having her, but I suppose both her and her brother are very quick to moan and critisise and think bout what happened later. Often dd gets the blame and I've been quietly watching and it most definitely is not her fault

I have doubled up on some toys but for obvious reasons you can't do this with everything.
Probably feeling more sensitive to it all as I don't feel well so may be a quiet weekend will bring everything into perspective

I remain yours hopefully

**Schnakes** · 29-02-2008, 08:59 PM

Im ashamed to say that R sounds like my son with one of my mindees!!!

I think (in my sons case) that its an attention thing. He REALLY wants D to play with him but he doesnt quite know how to go about it so he makes a fuss. I wonder if it could be something like that? Its tricky when they are that age. I always get down on the floor and do something that they can both get involved in...like a ball game, a singing circle, a story, a bundle...anything!! Im kind of making them play together, but giving them equal attention at the same time.

Im just saying this based on my experiences of my own sons behaviour though, and could be way off the mark. Hope this helps,

Sx

**Cheeky Chops** · 29-02-2008, 09:14 PM

aw bless, dont really know what to suggest hun, didnt want to read n run tho!!

hope you are feeling better soon tho sweetie x x

**flora** · 01-03-2008, 10:06 AM

Thanks schnakes, I do try to get down and do things where they are toghether but not, if you know what I mean. But despite this R still insist on moaniing and shouting. Most of the time H ignores her but other times it does get her down I think

**sarah707** · 01-03-2008, 10:42 AM

The only thing you can do is keep plugging on - play games with them both involved to help her learn to share and take turns, praise each for the little things they do and for kindness to each other... things like that can make a big difference.

With toys, in my house, everything is mine and I share! Simple as that... similarly, when they fight, I ask children to think about how the other child feels to be shouted at / hurt / pushed etc and how they would feel in the same situation.

Do you have any books about emotions you could share with both girls? Another idea is to introduce a puppet who maybe shouts a lot (in a funny way) at one of the dolls, so the girl can see what effect her behaviour is having on others?

Hope this helps

**flora** · 01-03-2008, 10:51 AM

Originally Posted by sarahnev707

The only thing you can do is keep plugging on - play games with them both involved to help her learn to share and take turns, praise each for the little things they do and for kindness to each other... things like that can make a big difference.

With toys, in my house, everything is mine and I share! Simple as that... similarly, when they fight, I ask children to think about how the other child feels to be shouted at / hurt / pushed etc and how they would feel in the same situation.

Do you have any books about emotions you could share with both girls? Another idea is to introduce a puppet who maybe shouts a lot (in a funny way) at one of the dolls, so the girl can see what effect her behaviour is having on others?

Hope this helps

Thanks Sarah, I like the puppet idea, reassuring that I seem to be doing things that the rest of you would do. Will let you know if the puppet has any impact.