My day just got a whole lot worse!!

**Minnie mouse** · 06-10-2008, 05:46 PM

Omg im so stressed out, ive been doing so much paperwork lately i havent had a minute to spare, with that i was late for school runs today. Anyway i care for 2 siblings, and they always play up big style when the parent comes to collect them and the youngest id forever making up stories i.e that they are going to tell there parents the other sibling has been hitting them and today she said she wouldtell her parent she had been crying (when she hadnt) and also on the school run she sed she was sore down below and when i asked why she said because a dog had just bit her (bearing in mind there was no dog in site and she hadnt left my side) so when parents came tonight she was acting up and when mum said say bye shesed no im not saying bye to her and as she walked out the door she said "she hits me all the time" This child is very young and im absolutly gob smacked and very worried although mum said stop making up lies (and she knows what shes like) it is still really worrying me. Im thinking of giving up my job because i cant be doing with risking losing my own child because of some made up allegation, i am devastated as thuis child is so good all day when parents are not here.

**Monkey1** · 06-10-2008, 05:51 PM

OMG!

Why is this child making up these stories? If i was you babe I would write it in your inccident records and get the Parent to see it, sign it and hopefully add a comment. ((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))

**Twinkles** · 06-10-2008, 06:10 PM

I agree this needs documenting. I might even call ncma for advice.
This is a serious allegation ( bit worried about her saying she was sore down below too ) you need to act now to protect yourself.

**nannysue** · 06-10-2008, 06:10 PM

I'm so sorry you've had such a bad day,

i wish i could wave a magic wand and make it better, this child sounds a horror!!
I totally agree with Monkey. Make sure you record all these incidents however trivial they may seem, is it possible to have a quiet word with mum (away from little ears) and see if there is a reason for this awful behaviour.

Try not to feel so stressed( i know thats easier said than done) but take some time for yourself, the paperwork will still be there tomorrow.

Lots of love to you Sue x

Pipsqueak · 06-10-2008, 06:21 PM

OMG I am horrified - how old is the child? Has she always made up stories.

I agree with everyone else you HAVE to protect yourself immediately.

Write down all these incidents and comments - tell the parent(s) and get them to sign that they have been told. I think you need to ask for a meeting with parents urgently and tell them that you cannot have this child making up these type of stories - as they could damage your professional and personal reputation. I think you need to think VERY very carefully about continuing with this child/family.

First and foremost write down what has been said and when and by whom. The whole incident(s) and get parents to sign and ring NCMA for advice first thing tomorrow

**katickles** · 06-10-2008, 06:26 PM

OMG I am as shocked as the others, thats horrible for the lo to be making up these tales.

I think the others have already said what you need to do, but I just wanted to say that I hope you are ok & that i'm sending you a big hug.

x x

**sarah707** · 06-10-2008, 06:27 PM

Originally Posted by Pipsqueak

I think you need to think VERY very carefully about continuing with this child/family.

First and foremost write down what has been said and when and by whom. The whole incident(s) and get parents to sign and ring NCMA for advice first thing tomorrow

I agree... be very very careful.

xx

**Minnie mouse** · 06-10-2008, 06:29 PM

OMG this has got me so upset. I have been keeping a diary of all the things this child makes up (3 yrs old) so i have that as evidence but im so worried. Mum said stop making up lies when she said that too her about me smacking her, but you never know. I have no idea why this child makes up stories but it is concerning me now.

**Minnie mouse** · 06-10-2008, 06:37 PM

Iv just looked in my incident and accident book and it looks more like its for accidents thats happened is there a form any where specifically for incidents of this kind or similar (say behaviour incidents etc?) omg im shaking

**sarah707** · 06-10-2008, 06:51 PM

Just use a piece of paper... you don't need a form or a book.

Date and time... child's name and dob... what she said... what mum said... what you said.

I know it's hard and you're really emotional about it but try and keep it factual.

Then go have a bath or a drink or some chocolate or whatever will help you feel better.

xx

**marian** · 06-10-2008, 07:01 PM

I can only feel for you and hope that you will be okay.
I agree with what the others have said/ advised and write everything down and get mum to sign.
Has she always been like this?

Sending you mega hugs and try not to worry too much (easier said than done)
Marian x

**Minnie mouse** · 06-10-2008, 07:30 PM

Well iv'e just spoken to mum to also mention the other incident as id forgot with all the behaviour problems and mum signing some forms for me. Mum said she was going to text me to say not to worry and that the child had been sent straight to bed when she got home and that she had toldehr off when she made the comment at my house. She said she will sign the form and not to worry as she knows what shes like and she thinks all this maybe to do with parents split. Would you justleave it at that now and keep the incident record signed by mum? Omg im still shaking but least mum knows the truth.

**Twinkles** · 06-10-2008, 07:37 PM

I'm glad mum's being realistic BUT still document, get signed , get ncma advice.

**miffy** · 06-10-2008, 07:40 PM

I agree with Twinkles.

I once looked after a child whose parents had split up and she told the most outrageous lies to begin with but they were never about me more that she'd been to places or done things that were impossible. It all settled down after a while.

How old is this child and how long have you been looking after her?

Miffy xx

**LisaH** · 06-10-2008, 07:50 PM

Originally Posted by Twinkles

I'm glad mum's being realistic BUT still document, get signed , get ncma advice.

Nothing more to be said really, good advise already given.

Keep us updated tho.

**kindredspirits** · 06-10-2008, 08:01 PM

hey,
i'd do what everyone else has suggested. also sit the child down next time you see her, eye level, and explain that its not nice to make up lies, that everyone loves her for being her so she doesn't need to make stories up.
maybes she's feeling insecure.

poor you hun... hope you're feeling better now. xx

**jellytot** · 06-10-2008, 08:05 PM

yes do keep us updated, just wanted you to know we are all behind you and send hugs (((((HUGS)))))

**haribo** · 06-10-2008, 08:11 PM

i hope youre feeling better, dont worry it sounds like mum knows what its down to ,still not nice for you id be reluctant to mind her im afraid. it sounds as though she is lashing out she is prob feeling angry at everyone

**Monkey1** · 07-10-2008, 06:19 AM

Can you get hold of a copy of the boy who cried wolf book from the library? It may help when you discuss it with the child!

**Minnie mouse** · 07-10-2008, 08:54 AM

Hi thanks for all your replys. Thechild is 3 and ive had her about 3 weeks. When she came in this morning she apologised and mum said she had spoken to her this morning about it and told her i was very upset. Mum has signed the incident record also. Apparently the childs sibling also went through exactly the same phase of making up stories etc and then settled down afetr starting school. This child has just started nursery, she has had a lot of change (nursery, parents splitalthough imnot sure how old she was when this happened, and also now she has a childminder all of a sudden after being with mum all the time) So theres alot of things goingon for her. Although i still dont think this is a good enough excuse for making an allegation like she did.