advice needed

**claire k** · 10-01-2008, 09:56 PM

Hi i was looking for some advice. I have been childminding for a year now. I have two girls aged 5 and 7 and they are so rude, no manners , disruptive and i keep explaining to the parents that i'm not happy with their behaviour and nothing is done. They will scream all the way to school if i don't carry their bags,umbrellas, water bottles etc. I have refused and put down some ground rules but they are so disrespectful. I have three of my own boys and another mindee girl who i have no problems at all with. I feel quite bad as the mum really needs me but i feel so stressed every day looking after these two and wondering what kind of mood they will be in! I feel that now i don't actually like these girls so it's time to let them go. Help i feel really bad.

**angeldelight** · 10-01-2008, 10:14 PM

Claire they sound right little horrors

First things first - stop thinking of this parent and think of yourself first
If you are not happy then it refects in your work and how you are with the other children and your family
Do not let these little girls wear you out

You need to have a meeting with this parent and you def need to work TOGETHER.They are both of an age where they understand so need you to both work together to sort this out.It is no good if this parent stands for their behaviour because then they come to you and expect to behave the same

You also need to be firm before going out the house - make the girls grab all their things and tell them if they are not going to carry them then they will have to leave them at your house - I am sure they will not want to do that.
Explain to mom what you are going to do

You need to lay down some ground rules here do you have a behaviour policy in place and some house rules ?

Angel xx

**Minnie Minx** · 10-01-2008, 10:19 PM

Hi claire, welcome to the forum, some fantastic advice from angel and i'm sorry i can't add any, i just didn't want to read and run. Hope you manage to sort them out and like angel says, you and your family come first so be firm with the parents about the girls behaviour

xxx

**Blaze** · 10-01-2008, 10:24 PM

I would really recommend this book!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Yes-Please-T...0003751&sr=8-1

If however you feel you want to start afresh with other children that is your choice & only you can make that decision, but as I said the book is great & has helped me alot in similar situations! Also be careful if you decide to end the contract as some childminders have been pulled up on not managing a full range of behaviors!
Tasha

PS...If you decide to get it you may want to lend it to Mum & Dad!

**chubbymummy** · 10-01-2008, 10:31 PM

good advice angel!

work with the parents as partners!

the children need to know they can not behave like that

**Schnakes** · 10-01-2008, 10:34 PM

Hi Claire, welcome to the forum

When the girls act up - what do you do? How do you respond?

Sx

**sarah707** · 11-01-2008, 07:47 AM

Hi Claire and welcome to the forum - why not pop into 'say hello' and... err... 'say hi!'!

**claire k** · 11-01-2008, 01:26 PM

Hi thanks for the advice. I do tell the girls that i won't carry all there things but then the mum comes along and says that i should! I have only one pair of hands and they come with 2 school bags, water bottles, lunch boxes and umbrellas and maybe wellies!
The 5 year old screams for no reason and if someone looks at her funny she screams all the way home. sometimes shes dangerous and stops in the middle of a road and refuses to cross. The 7 year old has temper tamtrums and goes into moods. I have put the 5year on the stairs before as she wont stop sreaming (in a temper) and i tell the 7 year old i'm not happy with her behaviour and ignore it. The thing is the parents are as wet as a dish cloth and tell me that they must be under the weather!
The final straw came when my 3 year old went to cross the road on his own, something he's never done and when asked why he did it he said he'd had enough of those horrible girls and wanted to get away from them. Now i feel that for the sake of my family i have to let them go.

**sarah707** · 11-01-2008, 01:30 PM

You have to put yourself and your family first Claire x

**fionamal** · 11-01-2008, 02:13 PM

I had a similar problem last year with a 4 year old boy and ended up ending the contract as it was afecting all the other kids and I was dreading every day he was to be with me.

So glad I did it, had a happy atmosphere back in the house again.

**Rubybubbles** · 11-01-2008, 02:34 PM

oh sounds like a nightmare,

at 5 and 7 I would not expect to carry bags

to the mum telling you you should!

If you feel the need to let go, just be careful as reasons said, but then if you do a 4 weeks notice wih=thin your contract thats your choice , if they are not willing to work with you it makes it all the harder, and this jobs hard enough

I let siblings go this year and I felt like a weight of my shoulders, I was going to bed dreading the next day, and thats not good for me or my family!

**deeb66** · 12-01-2008, 04:39 PM

I agree with the advice that Angel had given.

Also - I think the parent is out of order telling you that you have to carry their bags, water bottles etc. They are old enough to be doing this themselves.

i would suggest you speak to mum again and tell her that they are quite capable of carrying these things themselves and it is good to teach them independence. If she wants to carry them for the children that is her choice but it doesn't mean you have to......you are not a pack horse!!!!