Wrestling and play fighting boys
Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  2
Dislikes Dislikes:  0
Results 1 to 5 of 5
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Colchester
    Posts
    672
    Registered Childminder since
    Mar 10
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Good
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Wrestling and play fighting boys

    Hi everyone!
    Regarding my after school older kids I have a few days a week where I am quite 'boy heavy'. None of them are troublesome but my god they will not stop wrestling. It always goes too far and always ends up with someone getting hurt. Some of my parents have said their child has been saying they are getting hurt at my house. I cant have this any longer yet every time I turn my.back there they are again play fighting. It wasnt so bad in the summer when they could get out in the garden and on the trampoline. But it's been wet constantly just lately and all they want to do is beat the living daylights out of each other. Help!!! I've tried providing all sorts of other activities such as arts and crafts, baking and Lego etc but it always goes back to physical. Is this just boys being boys? It seems excessive to me. Yes there are deffo ring leaders
    Blondes have more fun!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    327
    Registered Childminder since
    Dec 87
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    Is it possible you can have them apart from each other or have them in the same room as yourself at all times? I've been childminding for over 30 years and had my fair share of boys to look after so I feel your pain! I have mostly girls at the moment and I love it. I found it very hard in the winter as well as the boys usually need to let off more steam after school and yes it's through play fighting. The only way I could make any impact was to constantly tell them to stop (very draining) and just not leave them alone together. Failing that speak to both sets of parents and say that others are getting hurt and complaining to their parents. A last resort would be to give notice to one or both. Good luck and tell us how you get on.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    By the sea
    Posts
    8,843
    Latest Inspection Grade
    Outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    How old are they? Do you think they'd be more suited to an after school club where there might be more space for them to burn off some energy? I've had it with one child in the past. He was lovely , but had so much energy and I couldn't give him the space he needed. I tried all sorts of activities to keep him occupied, but he really just needed space to run.

    I suggested mum try him in the after school club. To start with he went 2 nights a week and came to me for 2 nights, but we all realised how much better the club was for him so he went there every day. He preferred being with children his own age and he had so much more space to run around.

    I was sad to see him go and felt like a bit of a failure, but I knew it was what he needed.

  4. Likes loocyloo, Dragonfly liked this post
  5. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    986
    Registered Childminder since
    aug 99
    Latest Inspection Grade
    outstanding
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    I have this problem as I have boys most nights but one in particular starts the “play fighting” in the disguise of super heroes. They get one warning then it’s out with them and sat at the table doing crafts or colouring until it’s time to go. Very wearing but he just never learns. But at least the others stop once he’s removed. As you say better weather helps too

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,484
    Registered Childminder since
    Apr 11
    Latest Inspection Grade
    GOOD
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default

    hi BlondeMoment? how are you getting on with your over-'exuberant' boys ?

    my own son loved a rough and tumble when he was younger but one of his friends would be full on punching in the stomach and things so thats not really what i would consider 'play'

    I actually had a girl that was like this - very rough in play and would sometimes hurt the other children just by getting a bit carried away. also she was big for her age and used to playing with older siblings and cousins. Personally I think if you think it is exessive and there are children getting hurt (and telling their parents theu are getting hurt and not just shrugging it off afterwards) then it is not acceptable play. Also if there is a ringleader starting it they obviously think it is acceptable behaviour and are bringing in the other children.
    I also found it hard to put a stop to it as it seemed to be have become acceptable behaviour and it was always excused as 'just play' I think its a really fine line but if its aggressive amd causing physical pain and upset its not play for everyone!

    I found the best way was to seperate them and give them something to calm them down - the best punishment for them i found was to clearly say 'if you can't play together nicely then you won't be allowed to play together at all' they found this horrendous as they were actually good friends lol! after seperating them if there was a clear ringleader / initiator i would make them sit on the sofa on their own and they could read a book, listen to music or play with a doll or whatever so not a time out as such but just time to calm down and be seperate and i wouldn't give a time limit on it i would just say when you have calmed down and can play nicely you can come and play again. (I've got 2 sofas and ones a long one so can have up to 3 sat seperate at one time if needed lol!!)

    I don't know what your route home is but maybe a trip to the park so they can run around and burn off some energy and get home just in time for dinner / pick-up! get them to run races lol! if you're walking home hopefully they'll have their coats with them and they may have been inside at school all day if weather a bit rubbish.

    Hopefully with the weather before christmas being so rubbish and the kids always being so exhausted at that time of year with the end of term and run up to all the parties and plays and carol concerts and so on that now its a new term they may be a bit better for you! i happily resort to putting the tv on for the last week of the christmas term they were so completely exhasuted when they came out of school! even if they stared at it for half an hour and then found something else to do it was really good for them to just completely switch off (they look like complete zombies!)

    good luck!!

 

 

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Quick Links and Advertisements

Important Information Links
Some Useful Quick Links
Advertisements

 

You can also find us on:
Wrestling and play fighting boys Wrestling and play fighting boys Wrestling and play fighting boys

We use cookies to make this site as useful as possible. They are small text files placed in your browser to track usage of our site but they don’t tell us who you are.
By continuing to use this site you are consenting to cookies being placed on your computer. Find out more here: Cookies in Use

Childminding Help and the Childminding Forum are part of Childcare.co.uk